Connecticut Swingers

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Connecticut Swingers

Are you still interested! - Dynamics amoung swingers - Maybe its just us.. but we certainly find we go through stages. Some (like now) when were very social and meeting lots of people and some when we just hangout with the same good friends and maybe not swing for months. Alot depends whats going on in our lives, how busy we are and of course if there are any people worth meeting.

Why are people afraid to give out their email address - - Ohhh...I forgot to mention: How very timely things can be sometimes....just recently, on another website (for swingers), I had given a new contact our email address. I did this at his request (a single male), so he could send pictures. He did... ...what he sent was an email that - I really could only guess why - was forwarded not less than 16 times. Apparently, our new found friend has been very busy. Now, I'm sure you've all seen the emails where the subject line is FWD:FWD:FWD:RE: (etc, etc...) I've never realized anyone could be thoughtless enough to simply forward an email with pics to us, when the same email has been forwarded to 16 other people. And it's all right there, "in the clear" so to speak, in his email. Now, think about this: Here's a guy who is telling us he's sincerely interested in her, how he's only interested in making friends and not the typical wham-bam kinda thing. Funny, he seems to cover a lotta ground for someone so sincere. All in the past week or so, I might add. It gets better: at some point...I don't know, maybe he's got two machines and was bouncing pics between them, or whatever...he's also unwittingly included a different email address for himself (which, by the way, told us right away he's not been honest about his name). He's put his own, 'real' email address in there as well! But that's not the part that really relates to the subject of this thread. What does relate is the issue of emails, making rounds you can't even imagine, because of one careless person. I made the mistake of trusting this person - and imagine my horror when I saw how careful he was with the other 16 people's info in there...what if some were completely unaware he was doing that? I bet they are! And now, HE'S GOT OUR EMAIL ADDRESS!!! How many of his emails to others will have our address in it? Ever hear of 'social engineering'? Well, if you haven't, do some research. This is how talented computer people can take a little shred of info about you from here, and a little from there, and next thing you know, your private affairs aren't so private. Sure, we're only talking about swinging sites, right? But, didn't someone above mention work email? Tell me no one ever got the two mixed up - or that no one ever forwarded your email - the one you sent in total confidence - to their work address, intentionally or unwittingly!! Of the 16 email addresses right there in his email, 13 were Yahoo email addresses...now, it's a hop, skip and jump over to their profiles - and now I know even more about the people our friend listed in his email. Interesting to see who all he's been in touch with. Ohhh, by the way? Two of them were crossdressers, says so right there in their Yahoo profiles. What if that somehow found its way to where someone worked? I'll tell you what, I know how these people - the 'social engineers' - go about finding out all sorts of stuff. It so happens I'm not into messing with people like that, or I could have a field day with this stuff. I'm not interested in it, but what if I were? Someone who was a real low-life could start contacting these people, saying things like "I know you've been in touch with X"...or they try to play a confidence game, by dropping names picked up from various sources: "Hey Jimmy told me you're..." after seeing an email from "James" so-and-so. There are countless variations, but these people are relentless - and they're not stupid! Think it doesn't happen? Think again. Every word of what I say above is absolutely true. May not sound like much until you consider all the possible ways it could be exploited. And it happened, just about the time I took interest in this thread. So, I hope this little story helps illustrate my point. I hope it helps answer the original question; *This* is why people are reluctant to give out email addresses. And, maybe they damn well should be.

KUTV News Story on Swingers - News - What did we expect? "Couple celebrates 15 Happy Years of Swinging, story at 10."? Gotta pimp yourself for those ratings, especially when the younger generation wouldn't be caught dead turning on a television to get their news. I wouldn't call that a balanced report by ANY stretch of the imagination. Could she not, in her lurking around this site, have found ONE couple to go on camera anonymously or otherwise to say that contrary to what this woman is saying, swinging has been great fun and enhanced their life as well as their marriage and helped them to communicate on a whole new level? That they know MANY couples who feel the same way and are happy, well adjusted people who work and raise their kids and contribute to their communities? Reasonable and balanced my hairy ass!

Are swingers moral? - Who determines what morals are? - [quote=SEAKINGHER]I was raised to believe that morality and the law are the same thing. People, in LDS society anyway, seem to profess that being moral is obeying the law and that is what they teach their children in church. I have always assumed that other religions do the same thing. But what seems to be said here is that swingers feel that the law has little or nothing to do with morality and that we are perfectly willing to break the law for our own pleasure. Is that what we are saying here.[/quote] Depends on what you are considering law. I think even in the LDS tradition there is an understand that God's law is higher than man's or governments law. A large part of the controversy of LDS polygamy comes because it was in disobedience to the law. Where church leaders believed that following their religious conviction was more important then what U.S. law said. But if you are taking some overarching moral law, like Kants categorical imperative then maybe. I think most swingers have the same ends in mind and no is being used as a means for an end. However that being said, I think most swingers seem to follow a more utilitarian guideline that pleasure is good and what promotes pleasure is good.

To cover up or not to cover up - Slut shaming and the lifesyle - The two of us are both sexual by nature. Repressing our sexuality, to conform to conservative standards never felt quite right. Human sexual desire, and a full measure of sexual self expression, for most of us, requires at least one other human being that you can trust and that you want to share your sexual expression with, that also trust you and in return wants you sexually too. For some of us sexual self expression and fulfillment may include the desire to be sexually active with more than one person and in some cases include a desire for more than one gender. Swinging and the ever expanding category of people that are included within the community, perhaps, make the potential for sexual fulfillment more available. So how do you feel about balancing the joy of freely expressing your sexuality and the need to self protect in a world where not everyone understands boundaries? Can we agree that person to person, couple to couple, or members within a play group, involved in any actual in the flesh connections, that may include sex, that can and are happening within the community, in the vast majority of instances, only include people with an established attraction, and an certain level of established trust? People can only cross physical boundaries, if and when, they are near enough to the person with the boundaries, they are either invited, or not invited to cross. In the digital world, visual expressions and written displays of our sexuality, and some among us are overtly sexual, are kind of like a message in a bottle, flung to the tide. No matter how much detail you include in the messaging, anyone, walking along the beach might and will read it. If they get a little or even considerable pleasure from the message, so be it, no harm done. If they know they are not your target market or recognize that you are not what they're looking for, no harm done, so long as everyone remains respectful and understands the concept of consensual. Understanding messaging, when direct, or subtle, is perhaps a key that opens doors, that lead to other doors, that lead to places within us and in others, we want to have visited, but not by just anyone. Lelu, the Fifth Element, played by Milla Jovovich, in the movie of the same name, at one point in the movie, tells Corbin Dallas, played by Bruce Willis, "Not without my permission". Lelu, in just so many words, tells Dallas volumes about, who she is, and at that moment how she sees him, and that possibilities may exist, but are always consensual. As is the case, with Lelu and Dallas, we all send out messages, subtle and not so subtle, about our desires and our sexuality. We all open doors within us to people that discover the key and some doors are really not so hard to enter, whereas, others are. Perhaps, one sure way to close a lot of doors, is to behave like some construction worker cat calling "come on baby, you know you want it" to a attractive woman, walking down the street, as if her dressing sexy and revealing, for whoever she is heading to see, or just so that she might send a subtle message about desire and mood, entitles anyone to anything more than a respectful visual acknowledgement of her beauty. A subtle, respectful acknowledgment, with no expectations, and no pressure, such as a smile and a nod may, perhaps, begin something. Banging on her door, and taking verbal liberties, without an invitation, is more than kind of creepy. Perhaps, not to understand that, it's creepy, is even creepier. Slut shaming and taking liberties at any level, even within the lifestyle community, remains kind of creepy. Should swingers let their fear of the creepy sort inhibit their outward expressions, like an attractive woman, might decide to go out of her way to avoid the ignorant, uninvited comments made by a few workers without a clue and consequently without a hope or a prayer, to have anything consensual with a woman like her? Is reading, remembering and respecting signals when sent, perhaps paramount toward the development of all sorts of relationships, including swing relationships?

Lusting After the EVER ELUSIVE Male-with-Hallpass - The Great Swingular Mystery - [quote=FRIENDLYGENTLEMAN][quote=PALS4FUN] Guilty as charged! In our case though, it's a bit due to the fact that we're somewhat unusual here. I (the Mrs) sorta drive things and hubby is a minor participant. I'm sorta on a permanent hall pass and he's kinda along for the ride! [/quote] I'm going to have to disagree with you there, Pals. Somebody earlier also made a reply that said something along the lines of "this site is male-driven". In my experience, at least, this site is the opposite of male-driven. Sure, there are plenty of single guys and "single" guys, but most of the active couples on the site are primarily female-driven as far as I can tell. Now, that doesn't stop males with hall passes from being a rarity. Just because it's female driven doesn't mean that the male half is allowed to play on his own. Or that they are looking for additional guys. Even here, it seems that it is more acceptable for a female to admit to being bisexual or bi-curious than it is for the male. Take a look at the profiles of your friends; I would be willing to bet decent money that well over half of them have the male listed as straight and the female listed as something other than straight.[/quote]Hey, I'm gonna disagree right back at ya, buster! :) I think that the site and associated swingers are driven by the DEMAND for FEMALES but I think that the swinging and active searching for swing partners is mostly completed by the male half. For example, I'll bet that 90% of the folks posting here regularly are the male half. And yes, there's a huge volume of Bi-Females here, but certainly THAT is not exclusively female driven either. How many guys will raise their hands to participate if they're asked to watch two women going at it then be able to jump in the middle of 'em? A male fantasy. If the women were just interested in meeting other women there'd be female hall-passes getting used all over the place with other women, but there isn't because the husband wants to be involved and the women will generally acquiesce -- again, ultimately driven by the male desire rather than the females. But then, hell, I like weeners too much to ever be gay so whadda I know?! [em]Emo_12[/em] Maybe it all really is driven by women looking for other women and the men just get dragged along screaming and kicking! [em]Emo_60[/em]

Verified Real VS Not - How trusting are you in non-verified accounts? - [quote=DELICIOUSLYWET]Look around the site and you will see there are a lot of verified single males. As a single male you just have know the secret swingers hand shake and demonstrate it correctly to one of the 69 ordained lodge guardians on the winter solstice while reciting the secret dirty limerick version of "My Creed" by Edgar Albert Guest. [/quote] Fact is, I've asked to be verified by sending the picture with Swingular written on it. Last time was five years ago. Both times I sent the picture there was no reply and no verification. Both times the "administrator" pointed to the verification page. I remain on the site because occasionally I find a couple near me has posted and I can contact them.

Meet swingers in Tooele - Where do the swingers hang out in Tooele? - There is swingers in tooele county???? Where? Lol mmmm

Best swingers club for a 26m/36f couple - - [quote=Utahldscouple]Agree with you on this! Flirts definitely depends on the night and if you went when it was newer it may have been that way. Still a little older crowd but when we went last time we had to wait to use a bed/room![/quote] Maybe we will have to give it another go

Why are single guys being band from all the upcoming parties? - Did some clown out there mess it up for all single males? - Our group, (Tampa Bay Lifestylers), has a handful of single males. They are a select few. These guys are known around the area as decent respectable guys. They know how to work a room without "COCK BLOCKING" or pissing in anyone's corn flakes because they pay attention to the room. Most are smart enough to sort of lay back and watch. They know that all the couples or single women that ARE looking for a SM to join in will ask (if they don't already know), if there are SM's there. Our group does not play on the premise that (I AM GETTING LAID NO MATTER WHAT), and the guys know this. So none of these guys feel the need to push anyone. They also realize there will be more parties and that everyone is comfortable with them at a party they will be invited back again and again.. There are WAY more BI women in the lifestyle and this usually means that married guys are more likely to stand there. This makes for even less room for single men as well. COUPLES, (Which is where SWINGING came from), are more frequently looking for additional WOMEN to join in, thus brings in the single woman. Yes, there are the peeps looking for a single man to join or just take the wife away for play alone, but it is far less frequent. Therefore most groups and clubs are allowing all single women and only a few single men.. I have also heard couples talking about removing SM all together from parties and clubs. My thoughts are simple but controversial. I think SWINGING is a COUPLES thing. All singles are just dating or becoming "SWINGERS" to just plain get laid.. To me, and don't get pissy, if I were a single man and could get away with joining the SWINGER WORLD, I would do it in a minute because most in the lifestyle are in it SOLELY for sex.. Like a drunk working in a bar. Just a note for you single guys. Sit back and watch. Don't be pushy or try to impress women with your job or your possessions. They DON'T give a SHIT about what you do or where you live or your HARLEY. If they are interested in you it is all about your body and your COCK!!! So try laying back and letting them come to you. I know this works VERY VERY WELL for my single male buddy..