Hertel Swingers in Wisconsin

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Exclusive Couples - couples who are committed to another couple - Ok! You have heard from someone who is poly....ME. But we are still swingers and no one expects us to be exclusive either.... anymore than we expect them to remain true to us and us alone. Polyamorous is a conjunction of a Greek and a Latin word. Means to love more than one.....I don't fall in love with everyone that we have sex with but I do have 2 secondary relationships. One woman is separated and we met her in the lifestyle.. We love, yes WE love her as much as people can feel love. The other were seeing what swinging was about and came to a club that we attend. The lady and I started talking and then on line and we discovered that we loved each other. I stopped by their house and talked to her husband and we, that couple and us are great friends and she and I are lovers.... and everything is open and above board. Recently while I was in the hospital from a heart attack, they came to visit everyday. So poly really isn't about swinging at all but there are poly people in swinging who are looking for exclusive relationships... I let people know that I'm poly because if the lady and I hit it off...... I don't want any surprises... BUT I never go looking for that type of loving relationship in the swinging community, i.e., "the lifestyle" I think that some people use the word without a true understanding of what poly really is... Poly can involve sexual relationships but those are based on love not sexual recreation. My wife is not basically poly however, she loves that lady who is not attached as much as I do... so in a way she may be poly but does not wish to define herself that way. When talking about poly and swinging one has to make a distinction as to what people are looking for in a relationship. And, let's not kid ourselves...swinging and sex with people outside of your marriage or relationship is really a relationship aleit maybe a short lived one but one all the same. I'm just a person who can and does love more than one person. Like being hetro or BI or whatever..... that's just part of my make up.. I have chosen to be a swinger and if it lead to something I hope that I have let people know ahead of time and found out their feelings on that possibility... If they are not open to that but are sexually attracted, then we can keep it on that basis and I simply have to be aware. I think it can best be analoged to a couple or one of the partners in a couple being bi. They find a couple to play with but that couple are not bi or have no curiosity in that bent.... So they play and the bi part is never an issue because they discussed it beforehand and everybody was fine with the situation.... I belong to a poly group here in my state. the group is more a discussion group although they get together once a month and every mon or Fri to discuss poly issues. Most of the people who are in that group, over 300, will say that poly and swinging are two entirely separate issues and they are totally unrelated. There are a number of members, both single and couples, who are also listed on swinger sites....They are looking for sexual companionship and maybe, if it happens, loving relationships... So poly and swinging are not so exclusive nor does it mean that poly swingers are only looking for LTRs any more than bi women will only play with couples who have bi women in them.... Being poly of Bi ain't an issue...playing is... There may be some who are in the lifestyle to find lovers... Easy to find out and make a decission about....

'No pressure!' or 'Boundaries respected!' - What does the opposite look like? - "...isn't it a given that one won't assault another person or attempt to do so?" One would hope. Unfortunately the lifestyle has become so adulterated (pun intended) by just about anyone who thinks it's a free, easy way to get NSA sex that you now have a virtual cornucopia of people who don't really "get it". What I guess I'm trying to say is that it seems like it's no longer wife swapping or swinging. It's now "the lifestyle" and apparently includes every manner of sexual libertine imaginable including those who view swingers (and yes I mean mostly females) as wanton sluts who are borderline nymphomaniacs that lack the capacity or will to say (or mean) "No.". It would be very interesting to poll women who have been in the lifestyle for a considerable amount of time, say ten, fifteen or twenty years, and ask them if they're ever had to more or less fight a guy off or worse, or if they've ever entertained unwanted advances so as to not rock the boat or harsh the vibe at a swing party. Sadly I'd be willing to bet the number would be fairly high. [em]Emo_8[/em]

Any Swingers out there? Golf swingers that is... - - [quote=WEWANTU4DREAM]good call Squeakums. Ready to try out the new Nike driver I won this month. The wife is horrible at this game so some bets could easily won with her. She gives some awesome BJ's by the way.[/quote] Well head on up then, we can play a round... (get it...I kill myself...)

Girls that are into DP - How common is this activity among the swingers? - DVP?

Dear single females and males - Tired of this. - On a swingers site... yea nice. Really classy there.

tired of the B>S> - - u know, i don't think we're validated or certified or whatever they call it here on this site. we've been on so many it's hard to keep track. anyway, we're very real and we just don't give a hoot about validations anymore. i guess u could say we've progressed thru maslow's hierarchy of needs for swingers to the self-actualized phase. that's a clever way of saying we no longer give a rat's ass what other people think. ;) we've been swingers since 2003, and we really only went to a lot of parties and sought out new experiences with regularity for the first 2 years. now it's just another "thang" we dabble in from time to time when the mood hits us...mostly on vacation, weekend getaways, and stuff like that. and we really have no ego stake in how many unsolicited emails we do or don't get from people asking us to hook up or inviting us to parties. if we get the itch, we'll look around, find something that piques our curiosity, and send them a message. it's all really no big deal. and we have found that folks who get wrapped around the axle about this stuff are not the kind of folks we want to hang out with anyway.

network swingers - - hmmm, may have to set the drv to record this one

Single male in this lifestyle.. - I have questions for couples and single females. - [quote=jv666playful]sorry Evildoers but stupid people get my goat [/quote] Look, I hear where you're coming from. But I sort of know this guy. Never actually met him, but there was some, I guess you could say, interaction through emails. And he sort of screwed something up, kind of embarrassed me with someone else, and pissed me off. For a minute. And the reason it was only for a minute (the fact that she thought it wasn't a big thing helped, I'll admit) was that he'd made an honest, but sort of clueless, mistake. And that he really wasn't aware that not doing what you say you're going to, and not letting anyone know until the very last minute when you could have let them know a lot sooner, is a much bigger thing here than it is in the vanilla world. But now he does know, and I'd be amazed if he ever did anything like that again. And my read on him is that he isn't stupid, just ignorant, a basically nice guy trying to figure out how to navigate in an unknown territory. And yeah, this is a topic that keeps coming up. But you know what? I suspect that the guys that bring it up are actually serious about the lifestyle, and that the ones who try it and find out it wasn't the "all the girls want to fuck" scene they thought it would be just shrug their shoulders and go back to the bars. I I suspect that a lot of swingers didn't get into it until they were a couple. And I also suspect that they might not realize what it's like for a single guy, if he's one that isn't just trying to find a quick and easy way to get laid. Believe it or not, not all of them are. Me, it's a case of been there, done that. Back when "free love" was all the rage, before Herpes, AIDS, or any other really serious STD, when any guy who couldn't go out on just about any Friday night and end up in bed with some girl had to be either the Hunchback of Notre Dame or a complete and total asshole,I was a single male in the lifestyle. I sure as Hell wasn't trying to find an easy way to get laid, in those days it didn't take much of an effort at all. And you'd think swinging was easier then, with sex being such a casual, no big deal, thing. But it was actually even harder and more complicated. As Evil said, it was called wife swapping, and it was a seriously bad thing as far as society was concerned. Swinger functions, like Sinful Saturdays, Risquee Soiree stuff, Meet n Greets? No way, Jose. There were only private, invite only, parties. There wasn't any internet, if someone was silly enough to try to set something like that up and advertise in the papers (the only avenue available then), no paper was going to take the ad. Everything was word of mouth, and that word pretty much only went to couples. It was actually dangerous. There were cases (not a lot, thankfully, but some) of the local police somehow finding out about a wife swapping party, raiding it, and hitting everyone there with morals charges. Which could even cost people their jobs. That was in the '70s, it did start to sort of loosen up in the '80s, which is when I left the country and the scene, but it was still more complicated than it is today, with no internet and everything word of mouth and single men by invitation only. So why did I bother, when sex was so damned easy to find everywhere? I LIKED these people, that's why. They were ignoring what everyone thought they should or shouldn't do, and were doing what they thought was right for them. Which is how I've believed, since I was maybe 15, that everyone should be. Point being, not all single males are JUST trying to get laid. So if someone comes along who takes the time and effort to ask how he can navigate what are some pretty treacherous waters, I think he deserves to be treated as if he's serious, just a little clueless, and not be ridiculed for it. Hell, even Evil, who's quicker than anyone I know to jump on utter stupidity with both feet, and ridicule the Hell out of it, gave the guy a break and some good, if blatant and not sugar coated, advice.

Swinger Study Survey - - What I don't understand is how singles male or female call them selfs swingers. Now we have nothing against singles we enjoy there company often. To us swingers are a couple that are sharing them selfs with others outside of there relationship. where as singles are not shareing anything with anyone. They are just looking to get laid ( I don't hold that against them ) but swingers are couples.

Where on Earth are all the hot Virginia Swingers? - Show us what you have to offer VA!!! - stafford were here had a great time last night,K+M