Darien Swingers in Wisconsin

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What about the lifestyle didn't meet your expectations? - Preconceptions and disappointment. - I'm home bored, so stop here if you don't want to read a bunch of shite. lol. I think we both entered the lifestyle with some preconceived notions of what the people in the LS would be like, but that was mostly from our limited experience with being vanilla and having LS peeps try to hit on us. It just seemed creepy, desperate and gross at the time. We assumed most of the players would be super aggressive, ready to fuck anyone and have zero interest in relationships outside of sex. Our initial entry was simply to watch and be watched. We quickly learned that there are just as many wonderful people in the LS as out of it. Maybe more. There will always be the outliers, the few percentage on each end of the spectrum that are more extreme, but that happens in any population. Overall, it was a happy surprise. So that would be a negative expectation that wasn't met. As far as things we were hoping would happen or expectation that weren't met, we have very few. But we also went into the labyrinth without really expecting or assuming anything. I don't think we were naive enough to think that this segment of the population was somehow immune from the social characteristics that reveal themselves in any other social class or group. You will always have the "cool kids" the "shy people" the "jocks" the "geeks" the people who classify themselves as the "pity party" and blame the world for their problems. Those things will exist anywhere and should. Swingers are a diverse group of people with a few, maybe very few, common goals. Those goals I think are to meet others with social deviancy and those interested in expanding their sexual experiences or simply to meet new friends. Swinging, in itself, doesn't solidify your beliefs in anything else (politics, food preferences, choice of travel location, or even how or what you are looking for as swingers). I think that is where expectations can fail. If a person goes into a situation thinking, "I/we think "x" so everyone else must think "x" as well", they are bound to be disappointed. I've said this a lot of times, the lifestyle is not black and white. Life isn't black and white. There will be frustrations around every turn if you allow yourself to be duped into thinking your way of thinking is more than just your viewpoint, that it is universal to everyone. I see people complaining of flakes, people who meet once then run away, etc. That's how they roll. That's their truth. It's what they are comfortable with or wanting and who am I to judge. That being said, I don't have to associate with them and hopefully learn how to avoid that situation or become more efficient at finding people with similar interests. The lifestyle is work. Sometimes a lot of work. I think it's foolish to think that it should be easy to find 4 people who all jive. Think about how many people you have dated before settling on the right one for you. And to assume that somehow changes in the lifestyle and that after chatting on kik for a few weeks then meeting over drinks will somehow magically connect you. Ugh. Sometimes it happens. Sometimes not. But I wouldn't expect it. For others, the thought of any connection past the one-nighter is absurd. Why would you want to make friends with your fuck-buddies? It may be too risky and cause too many emotions. Point is, we are all different and that is what makes the journey so beautiful. And, just a note about flakes, since it is a recurrent theme. Yes, maybe there are more flakes in the lifestyle, but I'm guessing it's specifically related to the nature of the LS. Swinging for some can be very intimidating and frightening. Sometimes the chase is much more fun than the fucking. Not excusing them that do flake, it seems a problem for sure, but I think I understand, at least in part, why it happens so much. There is so much social pressure not to be in the lifestyle and most were brought up without it being the normal way to live. So society is telling us we are wrong, gross, deviant, etc. Add to that the fear of actually getting naked and fucking someone else and it can cause a lot of anxiety in some. When we first started we were petrified to even go the parties thinking it was going to be a fuck/rape fest. lol. Turned out we were wrong but it was a learning process. Lastly, if you are already treading carefully and the couple/person you are supposed to be meeting gives off any bad vibes, maybe flaking is best. It's hard not to hurt someone's feelings and honesty isn't always what happens. I know we have been honest with couples and it turned into a shit-show. Why don't you like us? If you only meet us and give us a chance we can prove we are wonderful. Other's like us, why don't you. It's hard to be honest at times about why there isn't a connection. May flaking be a way to spare feelings? I don't know. There are probably a plethora (Hefe, do you know what a plethora is?)of reasons people flake and some of those my be that they are just douches. But likely there are other people that aren't and are just trying to get out of a situation they are unfamiliar with. Avoid the douches but maybe give those others a second chance. Evil: always good topics you bring to the table. So you think because people like sex they should be good at it? I know a lot of people who love food but suck at cooking. haha. Maybe having too many options on the table can also make people lazy. I don't have to try hard if I know tomorrow is another partner. To some it's the quantity and not the quality. But I can see why the expectation would be there. All in all we really have no complaints. It's been a fascination journey. Some ups, some downs, but always and adventure. We will keep our expectations low, both of ourselves and those around us. Less disappointment that way. I'm going back to sitting in my underwear, drinking a beer and watching TV. Zero expectations. haha. :) Mr. SRO

IF you are into Raves/Molly/E - You know - [quote=ILLUSTRATOR]What? Seems like a liability to Swingular to have that on here. I've known businesses to get shut down because an employee sold drugs at work. You would think a website like this is the same. And that LEOs might be watching who goes to these parties. [/quote] First of all, I think it's very presumptuous of you to assume the astrological sign of any cops on Swingular. Secondly, I doubt any swinger cops are going to out themselves as swingers just to bust someone for using a little MDMA. We're not big fans but don't really care if someone else is rolling. Never seen a party where ecstasy was floating around that anyone got bent out of shape over anything. On the other hand haven't been to very many parties where at least one person didn't have a little too much ETOH and had to be asked to leave...or worse. YMMV *I could see maybe having an issue if they were like openly dealing or something on the website.*

Out of bounds..... - - Ok, I tried not to come back and be a bitch but I think this needs said. For those of you who whine and cry about not being able to mention God on a swingers site....... please remember this is the same God who will send you to hell for fucking someone other than your spouse. I honestly think both parties are in the wrong, and thats what I'm sticking with.

Daybreak - Is the Daybreak area a hot spot for people in the LS? - I was talking to someone the other day and they mentioned that the Daybreak area in South Jordan has a lot of swingers since the houses are close together and you can easily walk around. Can anyone validate if there is any truth to this?

Ways to point out Swingers in public - - I’ve seen 4 people sitting eating at a bar and they aren’t sitting with the person they showed up with. I figured that was a sign. I’ve noticed it at prohibition.

Swingers cars??? - What ya driving?? - 05 Saleen Mustang 06 f250 king ranch 4x4 diesel 94 impalla ss 07 suzuki burgman 400 couldn't figure out how to upload pictures

Soft Swap Couples - - [quote=Tall519]We are new to this and I feel like an idiot but what’s a “soft swap”?! Depending on what it is we could be as well...[/quote] Most swingers consider it to be play that includes anything up to but not including penetrative sex. So basically, anything goes except actual fucking between non-primary partners.

Swingers Clubs in San Diego area - Looking for Swinger clubs in San Diego - Hankie Pankie throws the best parties in the SD area.

We thought this was educational and should explain a lot about s - keep an open mind. Swingers are spiders. Each to their own unique ways! - [url=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sHzdsFiBbFc]Your text to link here...[/url] So, how do you feel now? LOL

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