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Skittles2469fun - Newbies - Welcome newbies. Like you, we were together more than a decade before we got into the lifestyle. We actually talked, fantasized and researched it for almost 2 years before taking the leap. One site we used that had great info is Swingers Board. We've loved it ever since. The main thing you need to do is be on the same page about what you want, what your rules and boundaries are and have fun. Go to parties. Browse profiles and contact those who interest you. Set no expectations for dates, we've found it usually doesn't go how you think it will (good and bad). Avoid anyone you get a sense of drama from. One thing we did from the beginning and do still to this day. After every party, club visit or date, we'd talk about it. What we liked, didn't like, etc. Did we mention have FUN!!!!!! Also, don't take rejection personally. It happens to pretty much everyone. Oh yeah, HAVE FUN!!!!!!!!!!!!
Do you frequently have... - - ...dirty dreams? What's the naughtiest dream you've ever had? And remember, we're all swingers here so something akin to boinking the cute neighbor in the house down the street might cause us to yawn a little rather than get turned on. [em]Emo_49[/em]
Bubulaplease - Sandy station? - We went to Sandy Station and were immediately approached by someone who knew we were swingers. I guess we just give off the " I'll fuck the shit out of you." vibe. That being said, we loved the club, the ambience,(except the music) but the people were super nice. Can't wait to go back.
Appropriate Parameters of Sexual Conduct in Modern Society - Should sex still have a unique status or just be another hobby? - Beard, You did open something up but I'm not sure what.
I had to copy and paste your original here so I didn't miss or get too confused..
One of your last points first: Moral refers to standards as defined by the church, the government or your neighbors(in light of the Supreme Court decission a few years ago about porn) Ethics, on the other hand are something that we define for ourselves based on our upbringing/environment and values that we have defined based on whatever we base them on.
You are right that marriage is a concept designed by religion and the government for the care of offspring and the clear definition of linage for property rights. You use the term marriage, which is a legal term like it is a moral imperative then ask if it should be based on some one or group of common interrests. Then the next breath you suggest that marriage is supposed to be more than any of that and something to do with sharing and intimacy. Finally you go back to somehow trying to make a point, (I'm not sure what that point was) that maybe there should be a conglomerate of reasons for marriage then with the nesxt breath you ask if sex should be forbidden..
Now lets see if this makes any sense to anyone. I'm poly and We swing. I have a lover who is married and her husband knows or us(he is not poly) and B knows of us and we are all good friends. We are, my lover and I, intimate both emotionally and sexually and both non poly mates knowof this. B and I are very much soulmates but then my lover is also very close to that as well. I do not wish to take her away from her husband and I do not wish to replace B. She does not want to replace her husband with me and we are alll OK with that arrangement.
In my heart of heart I am married to both in a very intimate way although I do not wish to procreate with anyone anymore. She feels the same way toward me. I would submit that marriage is an intimate, emotional and sometimes physical union of people.. I did not say two people I said people. We have been taught sex as a negative thing and relationships with more than one as a negative thing because we cannot love more than one person or more than one at any one time... I submit that we can love more than one and that the more we love the more we get back from that...
Swinging is started off as fun between close friends and sometimes the term wife swapping became a reality.... Sex is fun adn swinging is about sex and today alot of times about relationships. Relationships in my opinion are for the benefit of everyone involved... .
So I'm not sure if I understood where you were going but this is my take on the propositions as I understood them.
Depending on any person's opinion or preferences sex and love can be the same or they can be separate or they can be coincidental but it's basically up to that person or couple to make that determination....
We, in the lifestyle, may ultimately be right and marriage may change to a more contractual thing rather than some sacrosanct BS that it has become.... Swingers as a group have more than 3.4 time greater chance of remaining married than that of non swingers. The range of failed marriages is between 66 and 77% in all first and second marriages and some 70% of all married people cheat on their mates. Swinger have a better than 85% chance of marriage survival. Cheating is not exempt in Swinging but I think is is greatly reduced...
I think as swingers we have sex with friends and it can be just that or it can be more... at least for me..
An out of this world (or state) encounter - swinging parties - [quote=UTCPL]The problem we have noticed in Utah is that there seems to be far more wanna be swingers than actual swingers. There are quite a few who think if the girls kiss or show their titties then they have had a great swinging evening. To us it is a lifestyle not a fad & the cool in thing to pretend to do. We almost always avoid house parties & private parties for this reason. In fact we almost prefer finding new couples & singles in a regular club & converting them over to swinging over meeting playmates here because it's easier & usually less drama. Not to mention it helps weed out the wanna be's & the ones who used a 20 year old photo that was taken when they still had teeth or before they put on that extra 125 lbs. [/quote]
Hmmm..sounds like you may be hitting the WRONG house parties...We have had a blast at the ones we have gone to...and no...not just girl kissing..and flashing titties...nope!!!
interracial pics - how bout some fun pics - Just curious. Why is it most of the interracial pics are black men on white women and not the other way around? Just curious why there doesn't seem to be equal coverage. There were probably 6 or 7 black women on white guys but most were the other way around.
Of course, in our case, because we are chinese and there are so few chinese swingers, most every time we play it is interracial. :l
We have heard about it many times........... - Couples that are swingers - hmmm DRAMA....wish someone would list the definition of DRAMA. Some might say that this is drama....airing dirty laundry on a public forum....others may think quarraling in public...anyhow it sounds like there may have been some miss-communication between possibly the four of you. Unless i have miss-read the replys it appears that the other couple have not responded to this post. i certainly would hate to see the members of this site become "JUDGE & JURY" without knowing both sides....especially if they do not want to discuss it for one reason or another.
Queen, hope your experiences are pleasurable...that is what we all want, and let it be known that we are certainly not tryin to "stir the pot" simply tryin to keep un open mind....I know that WE ALL claim to be drama free...but we will be the first to admit that we are not perfect in our dealing with each other or with others.....ALL THE TIME!! this can be sometimes a interesting lifestyle...
HAPPY NYE!!!
Mr. Diver
Frustration with Friend Requests - - [quote=EVILDOERS]The underlying problem is the "we're swingers, you're swingers" mindset. We've been around the scene for a long time and met many many people who don't understand why we won't just fuck them...afterall, they're swingers and we're swingers...so let's just fuck already. This "hobby" is for fantasy fulfillment. If you aren't at least a little bit attracted to someone for any reason then what the hell is the point of fucking them? Especially when most of us can stay home and have WAY better sex with someone we love. [/quote]
Well fucking said!
STDs in the lifestyle - telling people they're no big deal - Hate to say it people, but if you are scared of STD's, this is probably the worst type of hobby, ativity you can have. Condoms or not the chance of contracting something still exists. Condoms break and the other juices flying around can circumvent a condom or other forms of protection. Especially HPV which is pretty common in sexually active people. It's not life-threatening but can be for women with the increased incidence of cervical cancer. It's like a lot of the other types of non life-threatening diseases, even if they aren't, who the hell wants to deal with something that you don't have to begin with? I mean even if there are treatments available, I'd rather not have to deal with something I contracted for the mere "Want" to fuck other people. See what I'm getting at? Like ThoughtGarden said, "abstinence" is the only way you can guarantee safety. So, again if you are worried, you might want to find another hobby, or just be extra safe and have a great time. It's what we've done and haven't had any problems so far. It's that one time though that could change a lot of peoples opinion on the lifestyle and safety. I do remember reading something that stated swingers for the most part are married, and believe it or not have an incredibly low rate of STD's because they keep the swinging on the inside with other safe, married couples. So, Single guys, sorry you are carriers of many bugs! LOL. Kidding. Screen them too and ask lots of questions. I think we can all have a great time. Find some great couples who you trust and swap until your hearts content.... That's all I got to say about that..
UtHot
Mexico! Come with us!!! :) - Trying to put together a group of Swingers to go to Mexico with us! - Oh also it will depend on what type of room people want as well. For us we had a ocean view swim out Jr. Suite that we loved (the picture above was the sunrise view from our room) but some people might be happy to opt for just an ocean view or a pool view or something else that would be cheaper for that couple. Sooo let me know! And if you want to see more pictures from our trip I have some posted in our private picture album.
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