Ben Hur Swingers in Virginia

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How Old Is Old - - hey blueeyes, from our perspective at least, we think you are probably right and probably wrong at the same time!!! . . . you are right about being in the minority relative to the kind words offered by most in this post, but we really believe you are also part of the vast majority of swingers who use age as a primary basis for discrimination . . . kind of a strong opinion we suppose, except that we can see at least 4 different ways anyone can pretty easily check for age discrimination providing some basis for that opinion . . . BUT, before we go into all of that, please understand that we realize that everyone is entitled to discriminate in any way they see fit . . . in fact, discrimination is not just ok, it is absolutely necessary!!! . . . you see, no one has enough time to sample from every cup (sigh!!!), so everyone has to establish discriminating criteria . . . and, for sure, we're NOT feelin' sorry for ourselves; we realize it's just part of the deal . . . there is one more thing to mention before listing ways to check for age discrimination: we think there is a pretty easy and logical answer for the OP . . . those tired of reading already, can skip to the bottom and get that opinion . . . however, we kinda hope peeps continue reading 'cause, sooner or later, age is an issue everyone will face . . . so, how does one check for age discrimination??? . . . try this: pick any population center (like slc) . . . open a bunch of profiles in that population from different age groups (say, 30's, 40's, 50's, and beyond) . . . record the number of times each profile was "recently viewed" (ya know, that little statistic conveniently provided by swingular) . . . then, simply compare the numbers for the different age groups . . . if your sample is big enough, you will see profile interest decreases with age . . . if you don't want to do the math, just talk with folks of all ages and ask them what they see . . . i know many (most???) complain like crazy about email (but somehow, everyone seems ok with tweeting, texting, facebooking, etc - - - hmmm???) . . . and, shit, there is always face-to-face (omg!!!) . . . so anywho, find an acceptable way to communicate, just ask, and keep track of what people say . . . we've done that to some extent, without any surprises . . . (although this method takes a bit more time, it has the added benefit of allowing you to connect with others) . . . another way to look for age discrimination centers on visiting other swing sites . . . we won't mention those competitors, 'cause we don't want to upset swingular management . . . but, hey, most all of us know where to look anyhow . . . in our experience, virtually all other sites list age preferences inside each profile . . . so, open a bunch of 'em and note age preferences . . . if your sample is big enough, you will see that there is almost no interest in those beyond 55 . . . it's almost like a cliff, and that somehow, sex, sensuality, desirability, etc, have an expiration date . . . we would like to think that it really depends on the individuals involved . . . and finally, there is an acid test: simply stick around the lifestyle . . . sooner or later, you will have a personal verification of the age discrimination issue . . . btw, we hope you do stick around, and we hope you have a great time doing it . . . so, how old is too old??? . . . we simply believe you are too old when finding suitable partners becomes too hard . . . what is "too hard" and who is "suitable" will vary for everyone, so the chronological marker for every swinger will be a bit different . . . but, the bottom line is the same: you are too old when this business gets too hard . . . btw, we certainly hope our time doesn't come too soon!!! . . . cheers!!! . . .

Creating an Amazing Swingers Profile - How to market yourself better - [b]Creating a Great Swingular Profile[/b] This was being discussed in another thread, but I'm going to share some thoughts as someone who has now experimented with a LOT of different photo and profile combinations to see what gets the best response. I also have some experience and expertise in Internet marketing and sales that has applied itself well to the swinger world. =) Our profile and photos are by no means perfect. I can think of at least a dozen things I want to adjust, add, or change. It's a process. The first thing we need to accept is that our profiles are a marketing tool. We are trying to stand out from the crowd and show others why we are unique. Investing time in your profile will have big returns. The second thing we need to accept is that looks really do matter. A lot. Don't lie about your looks, don't mis-represent your looks. Be proud of what you look like.. you'll find that the quality of the experiences you have goes WAY up. ----------- [b](1) Your Account Status should be PAID and VIP. [/b] Anyone not willing to invest a couple of bucks to be a paid member of this site is not a swinger. Period. (If you see a profile from anyone who is not a paid member.. SKIP IT). You should also attend one of the major events in order to get a "VIP" label (verified in person). It's proof you're a real couple who's really interested in swinging. (And, again, anyone without this label should be treated with extreme caution). ------------ [b](2) Your PUBLIC photos NEED to show what you look like. [/b] This doesn't mean you need to show your faces on your public photos. But you DO need to give others a sense for what your body type is. If people see a poorly lit shot of just an ass, the first assumption is that you are hideous and your giant, dim ass is literally your best feature. While there are a few couples on here for whom that is probably true, the odds are you can do much better. If you're short and chubby, that's fine.. Other people should know that!! You may quickly discover that other short and chubby people are excited to find someone with a similar body type they can hook up with! (Rule #1 of swinging: People generally prefer to hook up with other people who are of similar age, and similar body type..... ) Your public profile photos are the very first thing other people are going to see. (Trust me, they don't read your profile until AFTER they've seen your photos). Put on some nice clothes and take the best neck-down shots you can manage! Avoid photos from the Halloween party. People are trying to figure out what you look like -- not what you look like when you're wearing a disguise. If you post photos that are a mis-representation of what you look like in ANY way, people are going to hate you the instant they meet you -- before you've even had a chance to speak. If your strategy is to lie about your looks (by posting old or misleading photos), hoping that you'll make up for it in the personality department, you're still a liar... and you can go fuck yourself for wasting everyone's time. To that end: - Don't post any photos of you that are more than a year old. - Don't post any photos of you that are off by more than 20-lbs. (If you got fat since you took that photo, DELETE IT). - Don't post any photos that zoom in on just one part of your body. (you can still show your body, in general, without showing your face). - There's nothing wrong with a fully-clothed photo if you think it helps make you look better. [color="red"]Please do not fuck anyone who doesn't follow these rules. Even (especially) if you are married to that person.[/color] ------------ [b](3) Your profile should be well thought out and well written [/b] Nobody is going to read your profile until after they've looked at your photos. So if you haven't taken care of #1 and #2 above, don't bother with the profile. First and formost, run it through a spell-checker and a grammar checker. Seriously. If you don't know the difference between "your" and "you're", you might as well have world's smelliest vagina, because you are nasty and gross. Second, your profile should CAREFULLY describe the kind of people you're trying to meet. Bad: "We want to meet people of similar mindset." Good: "We're trying to find people who are well-groomed and open to full-swap. We don't mind people who have sex on a first-date, but we really like to spend a few hours together first to get to know one another." See the difference? The second example provided REAL information and REAL insight into what you're after. The first is a complete waste of the internet. If you provide information about your hobbies, be specific. It'll help you stand out more, and may even give you some things to talk about on your first date. Instead of saying you like "Football", say who your favorite teams are. Instead of saying you like "camping", mention WHERE you like to go camping. Instead of saying you like to eat out, mention some of your favorite restaurants and why.. All of these things will help your personality show through, and make you stand out. Your profile should mention your experience level in some amount of detail. How long have you been swinging? Why do you do it? What are you hoping to find? What's your dream-date? All of these things will help other couples feel more comfortable about reaching out to you. Spend some REAL time on your profile. It may take you several hours, or even several nights of work to get it right. It should be confident, it should describe things that make you unique, and it should be INTERESTING. Also, keep your profile up to date. There's nothing worse than seeing someone who's profile says "We are new to this", only to see that it was last updated 6 years ago. Anyone who hasn't taken the time to fill out a profile should be equally as suspect as people in the #1 or the #2 category. If they don't have at least two full paragraphs, MOVE ALONG. They are probably just picture-collectors and/or they are not serious about swinging. They are here to waste your time. ------------ [b](4) Sorry... But your PRIVATE photos need to show your face. [/b] You already showed what your body-type is in the public photos, so no need to rehash that here. But you do need pictures of your faces in your private profile. If you're worried that swingular will get hacked and the photos will leaked... First, the photos of your face don't need to show your naughty bits.. (Deny, deny, deny!!) and second, if swingular is hacked, a leaked photo is the least of your problems. (Especially if it doesn't show your junk!) In other words, one or two simple G-rated face-picture in your private photo section is an essential part of communicating to another couple who you are and what you're all about. (The same rules above apply, however, as your public photos. They should be newer photos that show your current weight and body type). The nice thing about putting them only in your private section is that you can screen who gets to see them. You should not accept every friend request that comes across your desk. If the person sending you a friend request hasn't taken care of #1, #2, and #3 above, IGNORE THE REQUEST! THEY ARE A WASTE OF TIME.. they are most likely picture-collectors, and not actual swingers. If they HAVE taken care of #1, #2, and #3 above, then there's a reasonable chance they're for real, and you can trust them to have a peek at your faces. One more (controversial) comment.. My experience is that people who are unwilling to show their faces in their private photos are typically the kind of people who will bring other types of drama into your life. Skip them. Move on. They are not worth your time. Beware of face-pictures that are extreme close-ups.. done in poor lighting.. or have excessive makeup. These people are hiding something from you. If you 'friend' someone and open their private photos to realize that you still have NO idea what they look like.. RUN!!!!!!!! [b](5) Seriously... stop posting so many pictures of your junk. [/b] The close-up pictures of the pussies and the cocks are super gross. (And let's face it.. if our goal is to make someone LIKE us, posting close-up pics of our plumbing is UNLIKELY to make that happen). Nobody has EVER said "Man, I'd really like to contact this couple.. but I would feel a lot more comfortable doing so if I could examine his cock / her pussy in extreme detail first." Seriously.. it's just gross. ------ [b]If you found this information helpful, you can thank us by buying us drinks, and maybe even showing us extreme close-ups of your genitalia!! (In person.. not photos). [/b]

Swingers of Color - - Yep, we're around. You just have to know where to look! LOL

This lifestyle - What are we really? - Great thought out comments to this posting ThoughtGarden, and we have to agree with you 100%. We love (but don't ever think that would be romantically- LOL), and miss you guys. A good topic to discuss. As for us, we count ourselves as "Fantasyers" that have things we want to experience and do so with the people that we enjoy (and or love) spending time with. Swingers (hard core) may be at one end on one leg, and Poly may be at the other end and on another leg, but we like being at the "Y" and in the middle, whatever that is labeled. :p

A&E New show about swingers... - neighbors with benefits.... - Well,, did anyone watch it? What did you think? My thought,,, just another catchy title for a reality series,, not realistic necessarily,, had some good points, but looks like they are going to have some "DRAMA", ( Britanny & Mike?). So much like all the other shows,, reckon they think everyone will get all worked up in the conflict and anxiously await the next show. Probably will watch another or two,, and hope to be wrong with the direction it seems to be headed already. On the other hand,, there has been a lot of coverage here in Tn on a wingers club opening up next to a school. Look for a lot of legal action on that one I bet!

Age - New to the swingers community - is age a factor in how a couple is viewed? - We tend to focus more on an overall package deal, rather than choosing to focus on one parameter specifically, such as age. Personality and intellectual attraction combined with levels of physical attraction sometimes make the issue of age a moot point. Black and white generalizations are something we prefer to avoid when referring to those we encounter in the lifestyle, i.e., younger ones are always too immature or clueless, older ones have no stamina, etc. Diversity within the swinger community is too great to even attempt such broad categorizations. Besides, what potential fun/friends are we missing out on because of that? Honestly, we have found younger couples to far exceed their years in relative wisdom, often surpassing those that are well above their age group. Inversely, my wife and I will outlast most party goers ten years our junior. Alright...'nuff rambling. :) ~J~

Age - New to the swingers community - is age a factor in how a couple is viewed? - Our first couple was an other couple, around 50 I think. They were absolutely great in "teaching us the ropes". For our 2 cents, age is a matter of mind, if you don't mind, it don't matter. Get to know the couple before you reject them out of hand. Tandvplay

swingin - thought this site was a swingers site - Not everyone goes to a swingers party with sex on the brain. Many go looking forward to conversation, good food, good wine or other drink, connecting with old friends, making new ones. If sex happens, great! If not, a great night was still experienced. There are some though who go expecting sex, are quite crude and crass and then leave the party in a huff because nobody would partner up with them. Go to any online community that is geared for a specific topic or lifestyle and you will always find off topic conversation. Why is that? Because human beings are multi-faceted beings with a wide variety of interests. We crave knowledge, humor, entertainment, enlightenment, you name it, we want most of it, if not all. When one's thoughts and spoken topics all center around one thing, it makes a person very dull. I'm an excellent cook. But if all I ever talked about was cheesecake, rack of lamb, creme brulee, I'd be pretty damn boring no matter how cute I am. It's the same with anyone. One track mind, one topic = boring. Open up. Show who you are, what makes you tick. That is how you make connections IN and OUT of the bedroom. Ali

Any Swingers out there? Golf swingers that is... - - St Augustine... Im spelling challenged with all these bandaids on my fingers...

Family Swingular Members - OMFG and you do a search and see a close family member on the list..... - No family, but I suspect my parents were before my dad passed. I have run in to swingers out and about 3 times. One I work with, one we were riding Trax after a Blaze game when they shut the train down and stranded us and one at another Blaze game I was at with my father in law and brother in law and we had seats right next to each other. So, Blaze games seem to be the trigger for us.