Waka Swingers in Texas

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Mixed Lifestyle Parties - - [quote=Cpl4Fwb][quote=WEWNT2PLAY]Although for those that would be concerned about being outed in the LS, what is the overall concern? I mean if I'm considering this type of party it's not like the bishop or pastor is going to be there, and the likelihood of being seen elsewhere would be slim to none. None the less they are valid concerns and now I have to decide what to do.[/quote] We are only speaking for ourselves here ... Discretion - we would prefer to choose to whom we reveal our lifestyle actives with. Even on lifestyle sites and other social media sites, we enjoy a level of anonymity. We control what and to whom we reveal more identifying information (face pictures, names, contact info, etc). Yes, there is a risk in going to lifestyle events and parties. However, most people in the lifestyle believe in mutual assured destruction. If someone tells their vanilla friends, "Hey, I saw Dave & Danna at a swinger party.", their vanilla friends would probably ask, "What were you doing at a swinger party?" In our time in the lifestyle, we have run into three co-workers, two high school classmates, the mother of a child on our child's athletic team, and a woman who we shared a daily commute with on public transportation. So yes, there is a good chance people may run into others from their vanilla lives in the lifefstyle at some time or another.[/quote] We agree with most of these comments. Vanilla people have absolutely no reason to keep LS peoples secrets, and I think they’re more likely to gossip about something relatively foreign to them (like a LS party they attended). I’ve had two vanilla coworkers in my office talk about going to The NYer to people watch swingers, and that just made me cringe. I would not trust a vanilla person to keep our secret, and even less if we saw them at a “mixed” type of party where any conclusions could be made. We would rather keep our vanilla friends and our LS friends completely separate for privacy’s sake. No matter how hard vanillas try, most of them cannot wrap their heads around our LS, and just avoiding vanillas while pursuing our LS hobbies is our safest bet. Being fully open to the world about being a swinger is absolutely not something we want in a couples friendship either. We would avoid that as much as we would avoid any chance of vanillas finding out about us. Guilt by association could be just as harmful to our personal and professional lives. As was said above though… your party, your friends. Just make sure all your LS friends are aware of what you’re doing. Some may not care, some could absolutely care if vanillas were there.

Why are people not answering? - - I agree totally. The most aggravating are those who send an email expressing interest, you reply courteously and never hear from them again. Might as well reply to their email with " Take a long walk on a short pier", or "Kiss my ass" for all the good it does. And those who do it know who they are...even more disgusting are those who do answer emails, schedule a meet and then disappear, never to be seen or heard from again....or they do schedule a meeting and never show up....(how many cups of coffee is a realistic amount of time to wait? ) then you realize you have been "had again". Seems to me there is an inordinate number of voyeurs vs. swingers. Jim

How close is too close - - I think that the question poses a number of possibilities... If only one person is starting to feel something beyond sexual attraction then that person should step back and examine why they are feeling this way. If it is only one way then the person who is having the feelings needs to take stock of the reality of the situation and realize the potential problems involved. If the situation is mutual and noone else realizes it then the two involved need to discuss it... and they both have to weigh the situation. Why is this happening and are the possible ramifications worth the risks involved... If it is possible talk about it with everyone concerned and make a determination as to what needs to be done. I've actually heard about a situation where a couple split over a swinging situation and the lady from the one couple went with the guy from the other couple and the gal from the other couple went with the husband of the woman that went with her husband.. A real twist on the concept of swapping.... Being poly may put a totally different slant on how I look at this problem... since I am involved with a married woman. My wife and her husband are not poly... The other couple are not swingers and we are very good friend as couples... and everyone knows about she and I. It's very difficult to explain to anyone how this works but it does and it can..... So I have a unique perspective on love and swinging... or just married people and love between non married people in married situations. I would generally say, however, that swingers should not get into love situations unless you and your mate and the other couple can handle this situation.. If a love relationship starts to happen run don't walk to the nearest exit and don't turn around. Just possibilities .. There are quite a few poly people involved iin swinging...including some of the older people entering into swinging... They are looking to expand their sexual and love relationships as well. THere are also younger people in the lifestyle who are poly.. The subject has come up a surprising number of times of various swinger sites... So if you're not poly and start to feel love for someone other than you mate... Assess you first as to why... but regardless, if you love your mate....get away fromo that particular situation... Ray

LDS Swingers Survey - Will any former/active LDS swingers take my survey? - So far we have 54 responses. Pretty interesting so far. I was thinking I would post it while some of you are at church tomorrow. :)

Wannabes and net fakes - Will the real lifestyle members please stand up - We have learned the best phrase to learn quickly in this lifestlye is "NEXT" lets face it this is nothing but a #'s game you have to contact loy=ts to find the few good ones and once you find those good ones it makes all the weeding out of the fakes and flakes worth it. Like we tell people a social meeting or two is fine but we do not intend to date you a year before you decide if you want to play with us or not . We just wish people would have the balls to say at least "no thanks" or tellthe truth they are "wanna" swingers into only the fantasy of it and never really intend to do it. When we find those we simply say "NEXT!" Norm&Sharon

Kik group for UT swingers. - Contact me if your interested in joining a KIK group for Swingers - Utahrocker2

Hollywood Swingers? - - Prior to divorce my wife and I saw John Stamos and Rebeca Romain at Trapeeze Swingers club in Ft. Lauderdale, FL. I think that is about as ADMITED as possible. LOL

BUSTED! Your Kids Found Out Your Swingers. Now What? - - IMO, you wouldn't explain yourself about your monogamous "vanilla" sex life or activities, so why would you about this? The subject of this thread was about your kids finding out. I'm not sure what age group of kids we're talking about and that can make a big difference. If they are adult children, you can simply tell them you are sorry they had to find out about it and regret that it makes them uncomfortable but it is your private life and will leave it there...in private. I think it is wise to reassure them that you will not do anything to embarrass them (start acting differently around them or other family members, etc.) and that nothing between you and them will change. Before they found out you were still the parent they loved and this will continue now. If they are young children, it can be a little more complicated. The questions aren't just about the lifestyle but also about sex since they are probably learning and curious about the topic in general. But, you could keep it very simple (& age appropriate) and explain that sex is something adults enjoy privately and that if they have any questions about sex (emphasis not on swinging) you will be happy to answer. If they pursue asking about swinging, I would just share that this is something better explained when they are a little older and that honesty and communication are valued so you will try to be as honest as you can be. However, you don't need to go into detail IMO. Often, kids are looking more for your reaction and some reassurance and aren't quite as concerned with the actual "words". They want to know their world isn't being disrupted. The rest of your post mentioned family members, etc. Again, you would never feel obligated sit around and discuss the details of a vanilla sex life so it isn't necessary to discuss the details of swinging. You could share that if someone has a private question they would like to ask they can if that's the kind of relationship you have with them. But, you can also add that you will only do so if comfortable. I might stress or emphasize that you and your partner have an open and honest relationship that you enjoy together. There are a number of factors that go into enhancing that relationship making it so special and that they've stumbled onto one area that you've incorporated/explored. You appreciate that it might not be for everyone and you wouldn't expect everyone to understand but that you sincerely hope they would also be as considerate to not judge the two of you. I might add that while you've tried to be candid when answering their questions, you only ask in return that they respect your privacy and not share what they've learned or discussed with anyone else. Include them into the agreement by explaining that you will extend to them the same discretion they extend to you. Who knows...one of them may have been curious about exploring the lifestyle and you might just be that one person they feel comfortable asking about it. At the same time, people can be very judgemental so protect yourselves. However these family members found out...it could happen again if that avenue hasn't been fixed. I'm sorry this got so long-winded and I could write so much more. Whew!!! Good luck with this!

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Required info for swingers - - haven't seen that one yet, we will have to check it out.