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LDS Swingers Survey - Will any former/active LDS swingers take my survey? - done
What would you do? - what does a person do when their spouse no longer wishes to paticipate - Well.
How amazing that the "couple in question" just happens to be in my home town. And my wife and I are at a serious impasse about the same subject, but in the "traditional direction" i.e. I still want it. She still doesn't.
I'm... very surprised that a bunch of Swingers are so unanimous that "No trumps yes": that swinging is just something you do - but are ashamed of enough that any "no" in the group instantly defines the partner's life as well. Why isn't "yes" just as valid?
In our case, we've been married for over 25 years. We've had a very-good run. Our children are grown and gone. We're financially comfortable. And we're still physically capable - as we watch our parents be physically unable to walk, hear, see, pee, or do much of anything to enjoy *anything* - the point there being that I hear the clock ticking and to me, this is THE time of life to reap one's reward for the life one has lead - before it's too late to do anything but try to keep breathing.
And for me, being honest, the ONE thing that is my reward - is erotic fun. Let me be clear that what I crave is *erotic fun* - not just madly try to find someone new to fuck and never see again - but partners who want to wallow in the erotic experience of "Truth or Dare" and Lifestyle conventions and teasing and games. That's IT for me. That's why "doing it" is called "doing IT". And I've been a great husband/father/responsible citizen for over 50 years. And I feel that there isn't anything else in my life that really gives me a "reason for living".
And my wife, bless her, just has never had any passion. She enjoys it when I have sex with her. When I give her a nice massage followed by 3 or 4 orgasms. But she's happy with twice a month or less. And she had no need at all for my "erotic experiences". So here we are. And over the last 10 years we've tried pretty-much every possibility: traditional fidelity, me cheating, us swinging, me swinging alone with her permission... and it always ultimately winds up that the only way she is not *miserable* is if I'm following "traditional fidelity". And the only way I'm not miserable - is if I have the freedom to pursue erotic associations.
Now. If my passion were bowling, there wouldn't be a problem. If her passion were gardening or shoe shopping, there wouldn't be a problem. Everybody would just tell us to do our thing without the other - and enjoy what we *do* enjoy together. But somehow sex is THE one that we have to do *together* or not at all.
So we're very very seriously trying to figure out if we'd both be happier by tearing up a marriage and going our separate ways.
We can all *say* that whoever does NOT want to swing - rules the day, but imagine whatever your very-favorite thing is to do. Then imagine your spouse telling you: "I don't like to do that, so WE won't ever do that and You won't do it without me - and you won't do it alone, either - ever again". Now what?
How is it to be in the lifestyle and have small kids. - We are new to the lifestyle. - well we have been in this life style for 4 years now and hav many friends that are swingers tht we dont play with . and they know our kids after we was sure it would been a very safe thing to do. and everybody gets along great . but our kids dont know of our life style .
but when they get od enough to know and ask we will tell em the trueth .
we have even had a cpl come in from another state one time aand they brought there kids
but agian it was a friendship thing and no sex was involved.
we dont make a habbit of doing that . if we havent known a cpl for awhile we dont .
we even had a falling out with a cpl .but when we see them we still talk to them.
we really feel the best meeting for the first timein town ,out to eat . or something like that.
and for the new folks trying out this lifestyle is dont be surprsed if all 4 dont click.
that is alot harder then you think.like we said we have been in this for 4 years and you would think dang 4 years i bet they have been with lots of cpls.
well no 1 full 1mmf and 1 ffm so dont get your hopes up . if it happens it happens
carl and hollyh
Swingers Dares - Text for cards in the game - How about kissing the Ice cube to your Favs.Make out with the host/hostess, one minute.Everyone stand tightly in front of each other and pass the orange forward using chin/shoulder.Penis bagle tossTwo girls tie a ribbon on a penis only using there mouthsAll girls have to kissBlindfolded oral sex (guess who the partner is)Everyones blindfold and try to find your partner.Remove an article of clothing from your fav. and it has to stay off the whole evening.Try a friends drinkPass the cherry, lips only.Fondle For Fun (1 min.) your choice.Men, serve the woman through out the night; fruit, (periodically). There choice who.8:30 Clothes, 10:30 Lingerie, 11:30 one article of clothing. turn out the lights.Hope this helps, sounds like fun. Oh and the Bagle toss is a real ringer.
Affair Match - - Very well said Lusty... and many others of you... Its not a matter of judgementalism for I too fall on the perhaps wierdly mystical side that "everything is perfect, there is ultimately no "making right or wrong". However, thats not to say that we dont all have 'preferences'. It just seems wierd to attract cheating spouse lurkers to a dedicated swingers site. Did we ever find out if Swingular has a similar ad on the Married Affair site attracting affair seekers to what they might believe is an "easy hunting ground" for tail?
PS... it is sooo good to hear so many speaking about how important it is to hold a field of Non-judgement and full acceptance. For the record, my opposition to this banner ad reflects my present desire to align myself with with open, honest swingers. In my past I have both been a cheater and played with cheaters. Its nice to have evolved into a fully honest, open marriage and found you all in a community of so many who embrace just how strong, good and honorable this type of relationship can be. Thanks to you all and hope to meet many more.
Member since Jan 1st!
Dave
Other Swinger sites in Utah - Anyone tell us of other sites? - [quote=mathlenoire]if someone were to make a new swingers site for Utah, what functionalities would you want in it ? [/quote]
free and no single males
swingers helper... - I know some of us need this every now and again... - OMG you find the funniest shit to post on here to keep me rolling. Thanks for always keeping me laughing.
BTW....I have something much better to get you "up" hun ;)
Lifestyle Resorts Help - Wanting your opinions......... - We have never been to a lifestyle resort but we would love to go. We have been all over Mexico, never been to Jamaica. It is just about the only country/island in that part of the world we have not seen. We are really more interested in the resorts right now and your opinions/recommendations of them. We have been all over the Caribbean. Love just about everywhere we have been.
What have been your favorite swinger resorts and why? What have you not liked? Right now we really don't care about price or the time of year. We just want to get something on the calender to look forward to. Would strongly consider a swingers cruise as well.
Thanks all...........and Happy Humpday.
An out of this world (or state) encounter - swinging parties - I love you ABC Women you described utah parties very well. You are AWESOME!!!
We have had soooo much fun and we are non drama people. However most parties have one or two that make it not as fun but you chose to respond how you want. Looks do not matter as much to us. We just like having a good time. That is what I hope everyone is trying to do. We enjoy all the parties soooo far keep them coming!!! goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo swingers!!!!
Single Females - Here's Your Chance - [quote=LOGANLOVERS]I think this is biast, and not the type of thing to be writing on a swingers website, not all men and women are jealous!
[/quote]
uh, sorry the whole sarcastic humor escaped you. please see comment below yours for further explanation.
xox
T.
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