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Swinger behavior at vanilla parties... - Where do you draw the line of appropriate? - [quote=WENDYBLWMEHARDR] Wow, where do you begin with this? 1. Your at a vanillia party = no flirting or flashing! 2. Children are present! = no flirting or flashing! 3. Most importantly how Dare someone say anything hurtful to a child or anyone else for that matter = no class !! 4. These folks should be Outted I would hate for someone elses child to be the next victim because some folks dont have the testicular fortitude to speak out against such attrocities !! 5. This makes you as bad as them . Look in the mirror and ask yourself why you even posted this drama . Did you do it just to stirr the pot because you like the drama ? Or did you really want some good to come from this? Do the right thing and Out them and then ban them from all events. Bad things happen when good people do nothing to prevent it! Take a stand and choose your side there is no grey area here .[/quote]
As I said earlier, I am biting my tongue not screaming out who this person is...but as pointed out above, I would then be the one in trouble...so you ask why did I post this? No it was not to stir the pot or to cause drama (if I had outed them that would be causing drama)...of course I want good to come of this, I want people to realize that we as swingers have a bad rep as it is and we need to be aware that our behavior is seen by others and can affect everyone around us!
I have chosen a side...it's the side of being an adult and abiding by the guidelines that I agreed to when I signed up...I CAN NOT name the person...she knows who she is and she reads these forums and she will see that her behavior has disgusted many and hopefully she will act accordingly next time...the fact that you see me as bad as her...well that is your own opinion, but I know that I did the right thing here....
Kisses...Naugh-Ty
Question - do you talk about other swingers? - Yes and no. We don't say we play with John and Jane Doe every week. We might say we know of Jane and John if it comes up in conversation.
I Have A Question - Poly vs. Open - We have found we are very flexible but with preferences. If we contact a couple and meet them for a drink or dinner and we have some great conversation and the attraction is there, it opens numerous possibilities. If we get naked the experience can range from OMG to let’s not go there again. Polyamory requires effort and commitment that we are not looking for, we want FWB that we can see when the timing works out. Not getting naked is ok also and sometimes we meet folks in the lifestyle that just become friends and not sexual partners.
We try to keep it simple and never take it seriously and we have been fortunate to have a close group of friends who we enjoy being with. We also enjoy meeting new couples wherever we are. We enjoy events where we can meet other swingers like Naughty in Nawlins. We have had some incredible experiences and again just some so so experiences also.
The point is we do not define ourselves as polyamory but we know what we like and we never consider the specifics of what it is besides swinging.
Swingers gone bad?? - - TR, concise, astute and very well said. I don't believe any of us living in glass houses are chucking rocks. I'd like to think that the majority of us would want our 14-15 year old kids to discover their sexuality in a healthy, natural way. Remember playing doctor in gradeschool w/other gradeschoolers (not their parents!)?
Love me, not my kids (or I'll kill ya!).
single male's showing on cam - curious on what you think - RESPECT is the word we need to concentrate on here. Everyone has to respect the other person unless they do something that causes them not to deserve the respect of others, and at that point they should be told of their infraction. IF that does not seem to do any good in changing their attitude, then simply IGNORE them. Engaging in bickering and name calling just satisfies these types, and lowers you to their level.
YOULUVBIGBLKDICK, this is just my observation and is not directed at you personally: A great number of s. males do not belong in the lifestyle to my opinion. I know a lot of the women, enjoy playing with them, and some that understand what swinging is all about and know their place in the lifestyle are just fine. My wife has enjoyed s.males (usually in a 3some with me), and I enjoyed seeing her pleasured. My problem is when they chat with her and push for her to play alone. They never ask this when I am present. Oh, yes and the numerous so called s.males who are actually married, and their wife does not even play. Have they even asked her? We have been told by some, they did not think they could let their mate play. Are these guys really swingers? I think not. What do they have to offer to the swinging community besides another swinging dick. We have run into some guys that don't want to provide a place to play (If they are single shouldn"t they have their own place anyway)or pay for a room. To me if they act like this they are just looking for an easy piece of ass. They are like sharks after a skool of tuna wolves amongst a flock of sheep.
I agree it is a nude chat room. Anyone can get naked and show, but respect is still a must. If someone tells you that you are being offensive it may be a good idea to tone things down a little. On the other hand if you come into the room and others are enjoying what is going on and you find it offensive, you have the choice of either ignoring it or leaving the room.
Just how I feel, anyway
Are swingers moral? - Who determines what morals are? - [quote=HELLO_KITTY12984]I figure that the golden rule, kharma, and working to better myself as a whole are good morals and make me moral and whatever. lulz. And as far as people thinking morals making you a good person... pretty sure you can be a good person with or without god. :P[/quote]
We have to agree with Kitty! We know that we live a moral life and we have nothing to fear from kharma. If only more people would only live by, "Do unto others..."
Swinging/Polyamory - I just wanted to hear other people thoughs on this....... - I was looking through the forum subjects and when I came upon this one and looked I wondered why I hadn't commented, since I am a swinger and am poly for quite a few years and I am involved with 2 women as secondary relationships. Someone said "poly is about being monogomous within a plural relationship." The term monogamous doesn't even enter into poly. Poly relationships can be primary, secondary or tertiary. Further people can be added on add-infinitem, so long as everyone involved in particularly primary and soemtimes secondary relationships are consentual about that aspect. In tertiary relationships it is necessary that that they be aware of all other relaionships and OK with that concept.
I also belong to a Poly group that is not like Yahoo or AOL groups. It is privately owned and is open to poly and poly friendly people. While I know that a small number of the group does swing, they do not advertise. Poly people generally take issue with swinging as be strictly recreational SEX! and no love where as poly, supposedly, is love based not necessarily any sex....but sex usually is involved at some level. The attitude is that swinging is not a good thing that swinging is diametrically opposed to poly.
We definitely do swing and I have 2 secondary relationships. One could be a primary if she could get over the hurt from a failed..abusive marriage of 18 years. We met thru swinging and will continue until I can't walk talk or motovate. My wife while not professing to be poly is in love with that lady as well as I am. We would invite her to join us as a primary relationship and have mentioned that to her... She is afraid to "lay my heart out and have it stomped on again".
So while there are some similarities in swinging and poly in that more and more swingers are looking for relationships, i.e., "friends with benefits" ; "Friends in and out of the bedroom". These friendships are based on attraction and sex after the attraction. Poly people take the concept that poly is based on loving someone and if sex happens then OK, but that love is the key and sex is at best secondary. I don't have any problems with poly and swinging. We have met people while swinging and I have fallen in love or they have fallen in love with my wife or me.
Swinging and poly are definitely compatable..at least for us.
New Swingers Club in Utah - Gauging interest in new club - We would definitely come when the wife is in town from work. Sounds like a great idea. Sounds like david and Marie are right on point.
hosting parties - would love to hear from everyone - [quote=SLCWANDERLUST]I have to echo Sara. People don't know how to RSVP. Put that in your invite. If it is a small house party RSVPing is mandatory. If you plan to fill your house to the rafters with drunken swingers a few couples more or less isn't a problem. One way to force RSVP's is to not give out address until you get an RSVP. There is a book called "Loving More" I don't know if it is available any more. It is a little dated. tells you how to find couples through personal ads! but the info on throwing a party is good. [/quote]
Good points....We had planned on using the address thing to help solidify the rsvps...We have room for quite a few...as long as they all play nice..LOL But not sure we want to fill the place to the rafters...LOL Knowing at least approximately how many are coming is pretty vital info..we think.
Sorta reminds me of that old song.."Four and Twenty Virgins"...LOL
Mormon Swingers - - [quote=Ucouple]Are you Mormon?[/quote]
No. I was.
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