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How close is too close - - I think that the question poses a number of possibilities... If only one person is starting to feel something beyond sexual attraction then that person should step back and examine why they are feeling this way. If it is only one way then the person who is having the feelings needs to take stock of the reality of the situation and realize the potential problems involved. If the situation is mutual and noone else realizes it then the two involved need to discuss it... and they both have to weigh the situation. Why is this happening and are the possible ramifications worth the risks involved... If it is possible talk about it with everyone concerned and make a determination as to what needs to be done. I've actually heard about a situation where a couple split over a swinging situation and the lady from the one couple went with the guy from the other couple and the gal from the other couple went with the husband of the woman that went with her husband.. A real twist on the concept of swapping....
Being poly may put a totally different slant on how I look at this problem... since I am involved with a married woman. My wife and her husband are not poly... The other couple are not swingers and we are very good friend as couples... and everyone knows about she and I. It's very difficult to explain to anyone how this works but it does and it can..... So I have a unique perspective on love and swinging... or just married people and love between non married people in married situations.
I would generally say, however, that swingers should not get into love situations unless you and your mate and the other couple can handle this situation.. If a love relationship starts to happen run don't walk to the nearest exit and don't turn around.
Just possibilities .. There are quite a few poly people involved iin swinging...including some of the older people entering into swinging... They are looking to expand their sexual and love relationships as well. THere are also younger people in the lifestyle who are poly.. The subject has come up a surprising number of times of various swinger sites...
So if you're not poly and start to feel love for someone other than you mate... Assess you first as to why... but regardless, if you love your mate....get away fromo that particular situation...
Ray
Professionals - - Some of our best friends work in retail and construction trades. Some are "professionals." But it IS relevant to how we interract and what everyone's expectations and comfort levels are.
If we were construction workers or farmers (for example), we wouldn't give a rat's ass who knew we were swingers. But our livelihoods could and would be dramatically impacted if it became common knowledge that we are swingers. This means a few things are done differently than they would be otherwise:
1. No public face pics.
2. No public names or detailed descriptions.
3. "You show us yours...we'll show you ours" policy with locals.
4. 99.9% "no locals" play policy.
5. When we do entertain locally, it must be discreet. If we go to a public place, there is no cross-couple PDA.
If it were not for our status in the community as "professionals" being a matter of eating and living indoors for us, we wouldn' have ANY of these guidelines. We know couples who have met couples publicly who are NOT "professionals" who simply could not respect their boundaries and risked their reputations (thus livelihoods) with inappropriate behavior even after being asked not to. It freaking happens! And it is one of the gravest forms of disrespect/disregard for someone to do this. You think I'm gonna walk into the convenience store where your wife works and stick my tongue down her throat in front of her boss? NOT! And it's the same thing for us when couples disrespect our discretion boundaries. It could force us into bankruptcy.
If you have a problem with that and think we're snobs because of it, screw you! Please don't contact us. :@
Rather than say all that in a profile, we tend to just play nice and say "we're an attractive professional couple..." ;)
Game ON....which sign is Hornier...(is that a word?) - zodiac signs of swingers? - It is probably obvious from our screenname, but we are both cancers.
Online donations - A new way for lifestyle clubs to collect donations - Call your charity "The care of swingers" Fund. You don't have to justify the charity, only show a user-base that is interested in donating. If you are the one "taking care", all proceeds can go to you, since you are the one providing/ensuring their care. The money can be used in any manner that coincides with "the care of swingers" to include your compensation for working toward the care of swingers. The beauty of it is, you can even file for tax exempt status, save the income portion that goes to you and your staff for their work. If a church can do it, so can you.
-D-
Black Ring, Right Hand - How to tell if someone's a swinger - [quote=EVILDOERS]We used to go to the occasional lifestyle takeover/trip and would invariably be issued a wristband upon arrival so that we could get into events at the hotel or resort. It usually took about half a day for word to leak out, first among hotel employees and then later the general public, that swingers were around the area and that they could be identified by their wristbands.[/quote]
When swingers are densely populated in an area.. yes.. that's bound to happen.. However, a tiny fraction of the population are actually swingers.. so when you're talking about something "in the wild" (versus at a meet-up), this isn't likely to be a problem.
[quote=EVILDOERS]I guarantee if the black ring thing took off that very soon there would be multiple internet stories as well as likely regular news outlets that "swingers" wear black rings on their right hands and there goes any anonymity. The VAST majority of swingers would then not dare wear the accessory for fear of being seen/identified in public as a swinger.[/quote]
I'd say we're years (decades?) away from that ever becoming a problem. Black rings would need to be EVERYWHERE before the general populace catches on to it... and then you just move on to something else.
[quote=EVILDOERS]MUCH easier to just attend private swinging events where you have a reasonable assurance that all or most in attendance are indeed swingers rather than spend a lot of time cruising the bars or whatever looking for people wearing black rings. [em]Emo_67[/em] [/quote]
I'm not sure which part of the black-ring suggestion takes "spending a lot of time"... Attending meetups is DEFINITELY the preferred way to find swingers (well, and web-sites, like this one)... But talking to people who've actually seen the black-ring in the wild and MET swingers in open, public, spaces... there's a certain excitement that comes from that.
Maybe I'll just wear my "I swingers" t-shirt, instead. ;)
Swingers unnerve families at hotel - - The 15 year old boy who saw the diamond-studded thong is either lying or the world\'s biggest nerd. He was \"upset\" at seeing that! Sure, right buddy. Uh, I was a 15-yr old boy once - seeing that would have \"upset\" me too - until I found a place to beat off or my girlfriend!
While I don\'t condone the kids seeing what they saw, to say they will be scarred for life is a bit of a stretch. Undoubtedly though, in our litiginous society, they will be scarred until the cash settlement from the hotel chain is received by their parents.
Ways to point out Swingers in public - - I thought it was a pineapple upside down in your cart. I do it once in a while to see if I get a reaction from anyone.
Swingers Dares - Text for cards in the game - HMMM KT that one is very good, only YOU can think of something as erotic as that... Can we choose ALL OF THE ABOVE? lol
Vegas: Swingers circle or couples oasis? - Which do I prefer - Has anyone gone to a swingers circle event or to couples oasis? What do you think of either? Would I recommend either? Any other places you recommend?
New Swingers Club in Utah - Gauging interest in new club - I love the idea as an old widower of a nice comfortable place to meet and play.I have attended a few house play parties that were fun as well.
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