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Do you long for your "vanilla" friends? - Have you been with any? - [quote=theseduction747]Being new to Utah I can not imagine how you deal with friends here with all the LDS people here. But it appears there are more LDS that have a secret side than people realize. Now how to find that out may be the trick. I always cut up and joke so they would be able to get the hint so they could decide on making the move or not. If you comment in a fun way in a joking environment eventually information will start being revealed. If not they are probably not into it and you can always excuse it as joking or cutting up. lol I have found out more than I wanted to know from some friends of ours over the years. Even some we had no interest in. It is just my nature to cut up a make funny comments. So they get comfortable talking back. That can backfire too lol. [/quote]
The feeling we've gotten from chatting privately with people here is that a good percentage of swingers in Utah are indeed LDS, whether active or inactive. Appears too a good number are former LDS members cutting loose. With no judgement or disrespect to the LDS reading this, I find it fascinating.
At any rate, thanks for the post and good idea with joking around.
Why are there so many swingers from Utah? - - Weve seen that utah and florida both are represented well......now just to get rid of the 1800 miles inbetween them;)
How did you get started? - -
Scott was familiar with the subject of swinging though not experienced, I had never heard of it. One day he started asking questions about my fantasies. Over the next several weeks we really had honest conversations about what we fantasized about and what turned us on. After that Scott found a local swingers club so we went to their social dance. It was not until then that I realized there were a lot of people (most, very normal) that also had similar interest in exploring their fantasies.
I would love to hear how others got started. Who brought it up? Did they bring it up because they had prior experience? How did you react?
Swingers In Uniform - Pay your memorial day respects here. - From a former medic in the USAF I wish to express my most heartfelt thanks to the men and women who have served this country and in some cases made the Ultimate sacrifice in the cause of freedom.
I also ask for your prayers tonight for my brother Thomas who is serving overseas as a United States Marine.
In need of advice - sexual - [quote=ANDRAYWAY_SHANAYNAY]I just have to say it amazes me how judgmental swingers can be... you would think from the outside looking in that they wouldn't be. [/quote]
Not judging just yet, I do that and make a fool of myself more than I want to admit. But in this case I am trying to see something real..
Have you considered he might be a single male posing as married? We have seen that a few times over the years. My point is there is no one to validate him or his story. When we have differences of opinions or ask for advice on the site we recognize who we are talking about and can respect or have some faith in what they are saying.
I believe if your going to talk about a specific person in a negative way on a forum they should have the right to see it and defend themselves.
Age - New to the swingers community - is age a factor in how a couple is viewed? - Well regardless of what some folks say, age is a determining factor, especially when you reach the, "remind me of my dad" attitude, or even "you could be my grandfather"....well let me share that when I was 70, I flew to california and made love with a 32 year old beauty, most of the night, and her two comments were, " you should really start a school teaching young guys how to fuck", and " I have never in my life has this many climaxes in one night !" and I was obviously old enough to be her grandfather...so I guess...you are free to gravitate to whoever turns you on, but honestly, more often than not the older ones are far more appreciative of the situation and will work harder to make certain you are satisfied cause by now have learned to take care of their own needs, in their own time, but always AFTER YOU, as a partner are not only satisfied, but usually exhausted. I have paid membership in FOUR different sites, in an attempt to find a "friend with benefits"since the passing of my wife...she and I had an extremely active sex life prior to her developing cancer which curtailed her abilities to share, but I am still alive, I am still going, I still love sex and I am 74 years old. And after months of being told I am too old, I am still looking because making love is no less important to me than any other teenager...*S*
Policing Ourselves - Can it be done? - Oleman,
I'm going to disagree with you.
I speed now and then. I don't always wear my seatbelt (law here). I might even steal a grape from the supermarket when doing my grocery shopping.
But when it comes to other people, respecting them, respecting their boundaries, I am very attentive to the rules, spoken and unspoken.
I have been violated. I would never turn around and treat another in a way that I know is harmful or degrading.
I would think it is very reasonable to assume that people act like decent human beings. Swingers or not..
Ali
Swingers dying out? - Is the utah swinger community dying or becoming to needy? - Nope, sorry. We checked for a pulse and swinging has flatlined. And that boner you see is just advanced rigor mortis. On a positive note, necrophilia is still legal in some places.[em]Emo_84[/em]
Can you be in love AND swing? If so, tell us how! - - The only way any relationship works is mutual respect/love/caring/communication. It doesn't matter if it's a marriage, LTR, or any other possible configuration. As proof I would submit that 60+ to 70+ percentage of marriages, both first and second, fail in the "normal" world. Also in poles taken, 60 to 70% of all married people or people in relationships have had relationships outside of marriage without their partner's knowledge.....i.e., "CHEATING". Swingers can hardly cheat, although it sometimes happens... Divorce in the swinging community is about one quarter of that in the "normal" community. I would submit that the reason for this is
a. the partners respect and love and trust each other as no other group does.
b. the need or want to cheat is virtually eliminated...
c. communication needed for the trust and the ability to work thru hard relationship problems is in place and working well
d. RESPECT for each other as individuals is greatly enhanced. Jealousy is part fear and part possessivness... Fear of loosing, fear that someone is better, fear that they are inadequate.. and many more fears are basiclly absent. And possessivness is not possible if you and your wife or SO are sharing yourself with others.
One thing about swinging.... If your relationship is good, communications are good and your sex life is good .....Swinging might very well work for you, as a couple. If there are any problems, fix them first or stay out of swinging... A good relationship will generall be enhanced by swinging. A relationship with problems will generally magnify problems introduce problems and ultimately cause devistation in that relationship.
You life coach has their head where the sun doesn't shine...and knows not of what he spake...
Amen
Swingers clubs in Amsterdam - - Going to be in Amsterdam for 2 nights in September and we would like some suggestions for swingers clubs. Has anyone been to Sameplace, it's look like it might be nice. We appreciate any suggestions.
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