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Why so much hate in the swingers world... - - Posted By: XXXTASYX2 Reply posted on:
Jan 8, 2008 - 1:39 pm
AKLIM69
All I was saying is that a few bad experiences can make people NEVER want to try something.
Also, there is the issue that if they are not really interested in it from square one, and there are a few bad experiences, the question people like that ask is "Why am I bothering?" Take our case for instance. We don't really desire for single males or females. Those we have played with in the past have come with baggage. So, why would we be interested in venturing into that territory? Baggage + lack of interest makes it a hard sell should some single male or female come looking.
Lying About Your Age? - Is lying about your age considered proper? - I know in our area age is a big thing to some of the swingers. We have always told the truth about our age and update it every year and often we get responce to our messages that they are looking for younger people. So I guess that is a reason some of the people lie about there age.
Girls that are into DP - How common is this activity among the swingers? - Best orgasms I've had are from DP
Creating an Amazing Swingers Profile - How to market yourself better - Shit! We aren't verified. We are totally screwed. ;)
I'd like to add that an effort to capitalize and punctuate is greatly appreciated. If you can spell, that's just an added bonus. If you know the difference between to, too and two and your and you're the Mrs. gets a hard-on. Just sayin'. Shit. I think I spelled that wrong.
~The Mrs.
real members? - - CYBER SWINGERS strike again! We had the same thing happen to us although we only drove 2 hrs this cpl must have exchanged 40 messages with us over a 3 month period they were so excited to meet us in person we showed they didn't! They were supposeably traveling to Florida on vacation we called them on the cell only got a voice mail and never heard from them again! We wish people would just be HONEST when we say we willbe someplace for a meeting we are there or we call before hand to say something has come up never leave a cpl wondering. its a fact of life in this lifestyle we simply try to make the best of it like that night we sat there enjoyed a drink and watched this beautiful blond sing and play the piano then we simply drove home and laughed and said "NEXT"! We have learned to not take the lifestyle too serious its ashame some people continue to play these petty mindgames but we know its a fact in this lifestyle. Ever want to visit North Florida look us up we WILL show up.
Norm&Sharon
Swingers - a couples only lifestyle? - Are singles considered to be swingers? - The above comments are very interesting, and do promote thinking about how it all began.
I grew up during the time when 'swapping' was just starting to catch hold. Swappers were married couples, and they did indeed swap partners. Single people were called 'swingers' at that time as they had many partners for sex. Basically singles did not have a steady relationhship with just one partner. An unmarried couple could be swingers, as they could go their separate ways at any time. A married couple did not easily have the option to go separate ways, so they remain swappers unless they got a divorce. Keep in mind that the two terms applied only to those that actively sought out new sex partners, and did not apply to the population in general.
Over time, perhaps about 1965-1969, the word 'swapper' became a bit derogatory, so the married ones adopted the word 'swinger' as it seemed to be more lively and exciting sounding. Thus they moved into word usage territory of the singles. Today both singles and couples share the word.
The meaning of words and their application change over time in the America language. As an example, the word 'Queer' changed to 'Fag' and later to 'Gay'. It took from about 1940 until about 1988 for the word 'queer' to evolve into 'gay'. It's still the same people, just a different word has been adopted that sounds more happy and exciting.
To say a single man looking to get laid is not a swinger, but a single lady looking to get laid is a swinger is totally wrong. Both are either horney, or both are swingers. There can be no distinction between the two.
So, where does that leave us? Today both singles and married couples share the word equally. That is, unless the American language is evolving again. Perhaps the word 'Humming Bird' (going from flower to flower for nectar) will become the singles new description.
Swingers dying out? - Is the utah swinger community dying or becoming to needy? - Swinging in Utah is as active as I've ever seen it. Swinging is a people sport, and you've got to get off the internet and meet people in person. There's free meet and greets, and if $30-$50 is too much to cover the cost of a nice private place to meet and play, then you've likely got bigger problems in life to worry about.
Here's something Ive been curious about - - Congrats on 10 years in the lifestyle, SLOW. We're old timers as well and have been doing this off and on since shortly after we got married. Over 25 years now! So I guess I can sort of see both points of view and contrary to the current rather negative societal attitude towards political correctness I have no trouble being firmly on the side of being kind to people and not labeling or belittling anyone regarding their participation in the lifestyle. Having said that, however, I can also see the viewpoint of some couples since when we first started swinging there really were no singles (or at least so few that we never met any) actively participating in the lifestyle. A few years later we met a few singles who would, say, hire a hooker to gain access to parties and events or sometimes convince a friend to act as sort of a swinging "beard" if you will, again to gain entry to swinging events. This was all pre-internet so connecting was considerably more difficult than it is now. To say that the internet changed swinging (for better or worse) is a HUGE understatement. I was talking to a guy (formerly single but now in a couple) recently about his experiences as both a SM and a couple in the lifestyle. His attitude had actually changed dramatically. It reminded me of former smokers who now are militantly anti-smoking. His argument (now that he's no longer single) was to take the couples and the singles and put them on separate websites and what do you have? He said you have a swingers site and a hookup site. I told him that there are some couples who actually seek out singles over other couples but he wasn't easily dissuaded. One final point he made that I thought perhaps was a valid point...he said when he first started out as a SM in swinging he thought that all or most of the married guys who enjoyed seeing their wives getting fucked were basically cuckolds or at very least not real men. He said it took him many years and a lot of different experiences to lose that mindset. He also said that now that he's part of a couple who is frequently contacted by single guys he sees that attitude (because he recognizes it from when he had it) far more often than not. He stated that he would guess that the VAST majority of those single guys who don't "get it", the bad apples if you will, the ones who ruin it for the few good guys have that attitude and mindset. He said that's why there will probably always be somewhat of a schism between singles and couples. Whew, that was a long fucking post. Hope it made sense. No more herb before posting, Mr. Evil! LOL
Black Ring - Who has theirs and how have they caught on? - Explain the black ring thing further. My personal situation is I am not a swinger, I am not part of a couple, I just happened to get involved with a swinger couple and my guy gave me a profile on here. So I don't count as a swinger, I'm just a single girl who likes dick very very much. And people involved with swingers are a good source for easy NSA dick. But I have no problem wearing a piece of jewelry that might let other people see that I have a wild side. As it seems, no one notices, but if more people try? Like seriously if there is a special ring or other piece of jewelry that announces to the world I am a slut and proud of it, count me in.
Looking to establish a group of safe swingers - - We have this very thing and it is amazing!
J&J
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