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Black Ring, Right Hand - How to tell if someone's a swinger - Don't underestimate the power of the internet and social media to disseminate information (especially information considered salacious by most of the world) VERY quickly. All it would take would be one pissed off swinger who didn't get laid or something to lash out by telling everyone the dirty little secret. [em]Emo_84[/em]
And personally we don't find it very inhibiting to walk into a bar or a restaurant and not be able to tell immediately who is and isn't a swinger. It would be interesting to poll people and ask them if they would be likely to wear a black ring on their right hand in otherwise vanilla situations to be able to be identified by and to identify others as swingers. We'll start. We wouldn't do it. We enjoy the fact that our little hobby is known just to us and a few friends. It's our naughty little secret. We wouldn't advertise our vanilla sex life to friends and family so why would we want to do it as swingers? JOHO
Polyamory - Any thoughts on an exclusive 3 or more partner relationship? - This is like kissing to me.... Don't love anyone you have sex with except your SO... Well I am in a poly relationship with a married woman. Her husband is not poly and my wife is not poly. The 4 of us are good friends and both my wife and her husband know that the relationship is not platonic, far from it. They do not swing but we met at a swingers social. They were looking into the lifestyle but did not decide to go that way... We started talking on the internet.. they live a little less than 30 miles away. She and I had discovered that we loved each other from the several meetings and talking and I stopped by one afternoon, sat down and told her husband how I felt and she told him also. Understand we both understand that it is a secondary relationship and neither of us wants to leave our respective mates... We have discussed what ifs like; What if something happens to one of our mates? What if one of our mates starts to have problems with our relationship? We try to discreetly meet when we are each free and our mates are not around... This to alleviate any stress to our primary relationships... We do get together and eat and watch TV, play games, dance...Everything is open above board and consensual.
Many people who are coming into the lifestyle, over the age of 40 and empty nesters have things in their profiles like; "looking for one or two couples for fun both in and out of the bedroom. Would like to find a couple or two to play with on a regular basis..." The implication is that they want a relationship that is closed...i.e., safe, secure and on a regular basis... To me that looks suspiciously like poly relationships. B and I need to find a place in MT but it's much much too unpopulated there, too cold and could get lonely....besides B likes her job/s.. Wears so many hats it isn't funny. All in all we do get to get out and go to parties/socials almost every weekend, if we want. Something to be said for populated areas even if super people live so far away...
Creating an Amazing Swingers Profile - How to market yourself better - [quote=BMSHELL][quote=UTAHSJCOUPLE]Shit! We aren't verified. We are totally screwed!
~The Mrs.[/quote]
I hereby certify the Mrs is real. I further certify that good spelling gives her a lady boner!
[/quote]
It's all true! LOL!!!
Abbreviations - MWC , hwp, ddf (DD free) and LOL - Hi there.
As there are several international swingers member by now, is it possible to explain a few of these abbreviations used by US couples in their profile?
MWC , hwp, ddf (DD free) and LOL are some of them we see.
Would be a great help.
A hug from overseas!
Bea and Alex
This lifestyle - What are we really? - Well I think that is crap. We are TRUE swingers by all means. We have sex with other partners. We do NOT make love to anyone else. We do NOT love anyone else but each other. However, we do have very good friends that we can hang out with and have a great time with, with or with out the sex taking place. So by your definition we would be Poly. But we do not love anyone but each other. We have swinger friends that we just hang out with and not have sex. We have B-B-Q's and let the kids play and then the next night we might all play. We exchange B-day gifts and all that jazz. We love them as friends but that is as far as it goes. In fact we have very few vanilla friends left because we get along with the lifestyle friends so much better. Please don't take that first sentence as rood, it's just that read your comment to agree with our outlook on the lifestyle but we define it differently.
Swingers of Color - - Odd that you say that, because a good many of our experiences have been with African-Americans. Hubby is also half Asian. Guess it depends on what region you live in.
Swingers cars??? - What ya driving?? - and this
BUSTED! Your Kids Found Out Your Swingers. Now What? - - SPERMint, I can't uderstand a thing you're trying to get across.
Does the word punctuation mean ANYTHING to you?
How about spelling - EVER have a spelling class in school?
Didn't think so.
What I would REALLY like to know is, why did you put stripes on parents?
Puddle Jumpers Campout - - Just over a week to go. Hope to see a bunch of Puddle Jumpers (swingers) there.
Why do they run? - Why do most couples run when you suggest a real full swap? - I am certain that insecurity has no bearing on the decisions that we make in regard to the lifestyle. What you are suggesting simply isnt for us. We take so much from being in close proximity to each other during our encounters that it would render the experience...perhaps ackward or fruitless, for lack of a better term.
There is a reason that so many couples run from the possibility of what you call \"full swap\". Many years ago when we were first introduced to the lifestyle, \"full swap\" entailed having sexual intercourse with another couple. \"Soft swap\" meant oral play or touching only, no intercourse. Perhaps the deffinition has changed over the years...
I am certain that what you are describing is closer to what traditional polyamory is all about. In fact, there is a reason why the couples that you approach about this subject \"run like the wind\" as you call it. More times than not, it has proven to be destructive to the relationships in question. Best intentions or not, we are all human. Shit happens. Most seasoned swingers know this, and avoid this situation at all costs.
Most of the relationships that we have seen over the years that were as you describe ended in ruin. Most of the people that we have known to consider this method were (coincidentally) new swingers, who had not yet developed a sense of direction or an identity in the lifestyle. There are some mistakes that you can make in the lifestlye without jeopadizing your standing with your mate. There are some that you simply can not. What you are suggesting to other couples, while it may seem like something that would be fun and cool, has proven to be atleast problematic to many other people.
Just our .02 cents.
Best of luck to you both.
Luvbugs! (mR.)
:D
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