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When does interest become pushy??? - - I've been thinking of this topic a lot since it first came out. I appreciate all of the comments made. EVILDOERS said, "Confidence is sexy", and I agree. I see a coupe of things here worthy of comment. First, in this game, women are totally in control. Sex is probably the strongest power position they have. All men want it, women control it. When they say no, or not interested, it's the end of the line for a man. HOW they say it is different. And how a man receives the rejection is different. Anybody who knows me social or professionally would never characterize me as shy. I'm outspoken and engaged most of the time. Because I've been rejected less than politely for advances in the swingers scene before, and after a lot of retrospection didn't deserve the rudeness of the rebukes, I'm a little more reserved, maybe even gun shy.
The fact is, in this lifestyle, no matter how good you are, sooner or later you're going to get rejected. The person doing the rejecting may have had a bad day and be less than polite, but it also could be that you're not handling rejection well.
Recently at a meet and greet I made an advance that seemed more than just welcomed, almost asked for, but was politely refused. I misread the signals, obviously. That happens to all of us at some time or another. The lady was polite in her refusal, and I think that's the key. I think at some time or another we all will give signals that welcome an advance, but do so in error. When an advance comes that we don't want we can reject it, but doing so politely is key. It's simple common courtesy. If the person making the advance persist, then something stronger may be necessary. Again, common courtesy would be to desist when told to do so.
It's all about treating people with respect. We're in this lifestyle to be sexually connected with others. Advances are generally, but not always, welcome and expected. We need to be polite and respectful in both our advances and rejections, whichever side we're on.
Mr. Sexperimentors
Desire vs hedonism - - I know there have been similar topics, but I couldn't find them in the forums. So starting a new thread. To the people that have been to both hedo and desire, which would u prefer? I thought secrets and excellence were swinger resorts too, but now I can't find any evidence to support that. Anybody been to excellence or secrets and can tell me if its for swingers?
At what point do you out yourselves to family and friends?? - - I completely agree with you on the fact about "IF" our son became a swinger oneday. We wouldn't care either way as long like you said he was making a responsible decision and not just going along with someone because he thought it sounded fun or he though hell mom and dad did it I can too. However I must say there are alot of ppl we know personally that would die if their children found out or indeed became swingers themselves,I am of the mind set ppll who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones. But of course thats just our .02 and our son does know about our lifestyle and my bisexuality.
Black Ring - Who has theirs and how have they caught on? - [quote=BMSHELL]It's a numbers game... Less than a tenth of 100th of a percent of the population of Utah is into swinging..... You may wear it for YEARS before someone notices.. (Just like the odds of running into a swinger at the grocery store are ridiculously slim).
Odds go up significantly if you wear them to places where swingers are likely to be (Habits on a Friday night, for example).
[/quote]
We run into other swingers ALL the time at the grocery store, the liquor store, and the gym. In fact it's kind of a running joke with some of the swingers in our neck of the woods. [em]Emo_12[/em]
Young Couples, Females 18-25? - We see a variation... - when we first started out in this lifestyle We were both 23. 10 years ago Holy CRAP we werent married yet and we were only experimenting well it worked well for us we're still enjoying it 10 years later. When we first started we had a hard time finding couples like us (our age similar builds etc. ) its only been recently (last few years) that lots of new faces and younger couples are Diving in Face first or leggs spread however you want to phrase it.. and now look at us we're NOW (OLD) LOL Not young and hot anymore (Phfooey on that ) well we have learned its good to go outside your normal comfort zone be attracted to whats in the box and not always whats outside if you want lasting friendships and repeat good times. yeah Sometimes there are exceptions but we try to base it on chemistry and our Feelings for the people not always how they look. If your only in it to get the rocks off By all means Enjoy the ones who look for the same there is so many different levels to this lifestyle there is something for everyone.. Best of luck to the two of you There are young couples like you Most couples in your age group and we were guilty of it too are Not mature enough in thier relationships to truly enjoy this lifestyle they often set rules and limits up which set them up for a bad evening because sometimes people like to break rules traditionally swingers are not quite (follow the rules type of people) Keep an open mind. Talk about everything before and after and keep your communication strong.
Also BTW in response to your other post.. (tell her No need to worry She is Very Sexy and cute.)
seniors - why is it so difficult to find senior swingers or single ladies? - SIN,
Telling someone that they are too old to participate, using derogatory desciptions and hurtful language, isn't funny. If you find humor in belittling others regarding things they can not control, then you've crossed the line.
You can control or change your political views, religion and stances on many things... You can't readily change how you look, how old you are, and sometime how heavy you are... Attacks against an individual's being should be avoided. We are who we are. We all deserve the same freedom and liberty.
I respect you choice not to involve yourself with the elderly, just as most of them should. However, you have no right to tell them that they should give up their pursuit of happiness. To do so, then call it a joke, just makes you look like and even bigger prick. That is just my opinion.
-Don-
Frustration with Friend Requests - - [quote=EVILDOERS]The underlying problem is the "we're swingers, you're swingers" mindset. We've been around the scene for a long time and met many many people who don't understand why we won't just fuck them...afterall, they're swingers and we're swingers...so let's just fuck already. This "hobby" is for fantasy fulfillment. If you aren't at least a little bit attracted to someone for any reason then what the hell is the point of fucking them? Especially when most of us can stay home and have WAY better sex with someone we love. [/quote]
Well fucking said!
Girls that are into DP - How common is this activity among the swingers? - I love it - when it works! Don't think its a given, sometimes there is a lot of work to getting it to happen, and even that is fun!
DP with a strap on - super hot!
xxx
Luscious
Verified "Real" People - - [quote=CNKISS]The funny double standard is we have watched couples and guys jump all over a girl who is cheating and is just "unfulfilled" but a guy who does it is a cheating asshat douchebag...which in truth they are both cheaters! [/quote]
I agree. I wonder if some excuse them for cheating because they are so rare. I bet if they were as easy to find as men they would also be held to account.
Here's an idea. If we discover cheaters, let's just tell them to go to AshleyMadison.com and leave the swinging to the honest people.
Yes, I know not all Swingers are honest or think it is our place to judge. I disagree. We always make judgments for what is acceptable to us and what is not. Swinging is about honest fun and cheaters are not being honest, so why should we include them? The suggestion is only for those of us who want honesty. Think about this, if there was no honesty swinging would cease to exist.
Discretion a Must?!? - Let us know - I am an E.M.T and president of the Local firehouse.......Brooke is in Real Estate here in a real small town near Lake Tahoe.......People have nothing else to do but talk and gossip.....can't say we hide anything....have thrown a couple of party's that both swingers and some of the guys from the firehouse have been to.....and as far as we are concerned......If you don't like our Lifestyle......don't hang out with us.......we don't advertise on the local bulliten board.....but we don't really hide it either.....Life is to short.....besides....ya never know what your neighbor might be into.....could be fun....
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