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What's the universal swinger signal? - How can you spot a swinger?? - With my ex, we 'recruited' a lot of people into the lifestyle.
We simply flirted and saw where it went.
If they're in the lifestyle, they'll know what is happening, if they're not but open, they'll figure it out pretty quickly, if they're not and not open to it, flirting with a couple isn't a good thing, they'll walk away.
Locally, there's a nudist resort, not all nudists are swingers and not all swingers are nudists, so to find out, simply talk, drop a hint, etc. that's all we did.
Are we really as judgmental as vanilla people? - - [quote=THOUGHTGARDEN]Are some people perhaps confusing "judgemental" with "selective"?[/quote]
Right - some people seem to think that because we are swingers we have sex with anyone and therefore they view a rejection as a personal snub. I think they forget that "just not that into you" applies as much in swinging as vanilla relationships.
Can bieng Mormon (LDS) and a Swinger co-exist? - - We are aware of many swingers here in Utah that still attend LDS church services regularly, including one woman that is a primary teacher.
There are also many people that send their kids to church, either with neighbors or with other family members.
Their attendance at church certainly doesn't inhibit their ability to be effective swingers, so we have no problem with this- we just figure that if they can reconcile it between themselves, then we're good with it.
What really defines a TRUE swinger? - - My definition of "Swingers" is a couple in which both partners have agreed to allow the other to have an intimate relationship with another person. There are lots of situations that fit that description and lots of emotional states that occur as a result of swinging but that description works for me. So as a single male I don't think of myself as swinger but as someone who enjoys hanging out with swingers!
What really defines a TRUE swinger? - - [quote=CHUCKSTOE]to us swingers are people who want have fun some want to be friends and have fun, and the single males need to know there place and not be pushy or circle like a vultures. [/quote]
Tell me you just did NOT insinuate that single males are not people who want to have fun and want to be friends...did I really misread that?
And quite frankly the majority of pushy vultures *I* have experienced on Swingular are MARRIED. And not just men either.
Being a pushy vulture is not related to marital status or gender. Just the lack of class and manners.
Girls that are into DP - How common is this activity among the swingers? - [quote=TOTO73]only done it once, but would love to try it again. any volunteers [/quote]
I would love to volunteer to join you.
Swingers of Color - - Odd that you say that, because a good many of our experiences have been with African-Americans. Hubby is also half Asian. Guess it depends on what region you live in.
We have heard about it many times........... - Couples that are swingers - Well partiallyshaved, sorry to say this but somehow your story makes us feel a bit better about ours. LOL. What an interesting experience. Again, a situation where communication and honesty is key. xoxoXXX
Age differences - How do you handle it - We look to make some sort of a friendship with anyone we play with so we feel the best chance that would happen is if they were close to our ages but we have found many exceptions to that theory. We are just playing the odds that a connection is most commonly found with someone of similar ages.
The reason for this thread was because of conversation we were involved in at a party recently that we attended. People of all ages were there. I was sitting with a few older ladies, who I must say were very attractive, but then they started talking about all of their ailments and it almost makes me afraid that I might accidently hurt them if we played. I want to provide pleasure, not pain.
Also a few were saying they went to a big party and it was mostly younger couples who were dirty dancing and flirting but not really playing and they felt the younger swingers are not as sexual as the older people are. One rationalized it by saying that maybe the fear of pregnancy is the issue.
We try to be ourselves at all times and if we find common interests with a couple younger or older then us, great. Since we are somewhere in the middle we can go higher or lower then our ages. We would go higher then our ages first because of the experience and maturity factors hoping their experience will provide us some fun and share their knowledge with us. We wonder what those at either end of the spectrum think and what is their biggest concerns. Great input so far from everyone so thank you for that.
Joe and Lori
Why so much hate in the swingers world... - - I'm playing doctor with my colon right now. I'm pretending a corona bottle is my scope.
-D-
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