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Probably my last post - True colors are showing now - Well. I shouldn't. But we're all "getting it out of our systems" so I will.
I had been having a great time in the chat room, until Wild decided to badger me and badger me and badger me about the fact that HE was REALLY single - not "married but playing with wife's permission" (as I truly am). He just kept poking at it and wouldn't let it go.
How... ironic... that I am, indeed, what I said I was and the protester turns out to be not what he said he was. Hmmmm.... "Methinks he protested too much".
I even mentioned his heavy-handed "monitoring" to the staff and they refused to do anything but take his side in every item. OK. So I stopped participating in the chat room - for months.
Now. Big Breath. My "problem" is nothing compared to what has happened to others, so I suppose I should just count myself lucky. I *do* feel for you all, but I also will plead with you to consider that "swingers have some bad apples just like the general populace - but have mostly-good people - just like the general populace".
San Diego Visit? - Any swing clubs people can recommend in San Diego? - IT has been a while since i posted on here or was active on the site but I am heading to San Diego for a week or so and checking to see if anyone knows of a good place to go to for swinging activities in San Diego area? Whether regular bars/clubs that are populated by swingers or swing clubs or groups...hope to get some help thanks!
Jay
LDS Swingers Survey - Will any former/active LDS swingers take my survey? - So far we have 54 responses. Pretty interesting so far. I was thinking I would post it while some of you are at church tomorrow. :)
Has anyone else had or still have this problem? - Mixed emotions when it's your turn to play - [quote=UCANTOUCHMYMONKY]Sugarandspice said "most swingers are down on single men. So many males are here for their own pleasure period. It is the God
Sexy swingers closer to our age - 20-30 year old sexy swingers - 26/29 here as well! Open to lots of different things
swingin - thought this site was a swingers site - Classy not Trashy.........Perfect post. Thank you
Party Etiquette - How do people manage risks? - Mr here. So, the party that we went to before Halloween was a good party. It seemed much like another orgy that I participated in a few years ago, except this time I had Ms. Honeybunny with me :) That made me a little more aware of how people were interacting with each other, and I have a few questions about etiquette in those situations.
Obviously, protection is important for a number of reasons, and pretty much everybody there was using condoms, cleaning toys after use, etc.
However, one thing that I did not notice anybody using was dental dams or any kind of protection for oral sex. In a world where 70% of Americans have some form of herpes, for example, how do you deal with the risk of contracting it if you don't? Or what if you have other STDs? I would hope that if you have a temporary STD like chlamydia you would avoid lifestyles events until it cleared up, but nobody was talking about it. What if you have a more permanent STD, like the herpes mentioned above? Or AIDS? Or HPV? Two of those are really common, but also relatively harmless; do people just assume that other swingers do/don't have them or that the risk in not meaningful? I didn't really hear anybody talking about it, but I"m not sure if that's unusual or not. What's the typical protocol for situations like that?
Also, now that I'm thinking about it. What would be the protocol if you DID pick something up from an event?
Too Young to be Taken Seriously? - - My husband and I are interesting in joining the lifestyle, starting slow. However I've noticed the majority of people here are older. We both are twenty, is this too young to be taken seriously in the lifestyle? Should we keep at it, or come back in 10-20 years. I do understand if people want their partners to be old enough to have an adult beverage with them. But perhaps it is the maturity level? Maturity level is different for everyone. There are twenty year olds who act years older than they are, and sixty year olds who act younger than we are. To each their own I guess. I'm not asking to have everyone be my friend right now. I'm just curious as to what people think about younger swingers. What is your opinion about say twenty-five or younger couples?
what if I want to but he doesn't - - [quote=NU2THEGAME]the worst part is that I consider myself intelligent with good common sense, so why can't i repress this- why is this so important to me right now? my hormones are taking over my common sense!! don't want to ruin a marriage for a cheap thrill- but also know that sex is a very important part of a marriage... part of it i'm sure is that I've been with him since i was 14..... i know this.[/quote]
There are many little things that we all do without that do not really affect our lives to any degree. But sometimes the little things turn out to be really big things. I would say that you have found one of yours.
I sounds like you are telling us that you everything your husband wants sexually. But there is something you need that you are not getting sexually. We could guess as to what that is but it would not help to guess. You need to examine and define what it is that you are lacking. Otherwise all we can do is talk in generalities. Some people only feel safe when things are neatly defined and unchanging.
I think that most swingers will tell you that sexually we get into a rut or pattern with any lover and that for many of us that is like the end of life. Most will also tell you that this lifestyle helps to keep you feeling alive and part of the world. You learn knew things from different people and your world opens wider.
Marriage changes how many think or act. Why that is would take many pages off topic. A marriage like good government should be one of give and take and compromise. Once one side had decided not to compromise or find a solution that makes their partner happy, then they have decided that the marriage is no linger important.
As an example: A woman once told me that after marriage her husband only touched her once a year on a specific day. The rest of the time he was a cold fish. That is all he wanted and what she wanted did not matter. In a way that was sexual abuse of the worst magnitude. To choose a celibate life for one
Letting them down softly???? - Give us advice? - No matter how "easy" you try to make it, some people, unfortunately, will never LET you make it easy. Let's face it, rejection sucks and some people just don't take it well...if at all! We've tried every imaginable way to let people down easy and trust me, there is no magic bullet that works for everyone. If there was we totally would have patented it, made a fortune selling "Swinging For Dummies" books and would be living on a tropical island surrounded only by hot sexy swingers that we find spectacularly attractive. [em]Emo_84[/em]
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