Port Gibson Swingers in New_york

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couples gf? - has any couples thought of this or had/have a gf - [quote=ABCMAN][quote=ASSETS][quote=VIRANI]is it wrong of me to believe that no girlfriend of a couple should expect anything beyond sex?[/quote] nope. I think the same... if a girlfriend expects more, then she is just setting herself up for a broken heart and disappointment.[/quote] It's not that easy. What if the man falls for the girlfriend. It is possible to love more then one person romantically, it happens all the time. Even friends of mine who have cheated on their wives, still love their wives, it's not just sex to some of these men. Sometimes I wonder if "Swingers" or "lifestylers" get so paranoid about falling for someone that they miss some of the fun that comes with sexual play with those you care about or ...cough...love. Love isn't something that is always controllable or a feeling that always can be tamed. I've read these posts for years, and it happens all the time in the lifestyle. Couple "A" plays with single male or female, they play often, soon one of the couple is in love with the secondary, then all hell breaks loose. I just asked myself, why? That person you fell in love with originally is still the same person, they may love someone else as well, but they in most cases still love you as well. Shut down the social conditioning that tells you it's wrong! So is swinging by the way if you listen to those religious cultural voices. Talk it over with your spouse, let them know it's okay to feel what ever they want to feel. Keep those communication lines open, and often the "fallen" partner will realize they love two and they do not have to love only one person. Sorry for the sermon, but I just cringe when I read these replies where people attempt to deny what makes them fundamentally human. It's okay to love others, even if they are not your spouse. Just remember who you are going home with and who was by your side the last umpteen years.[/quote] I used to work for a MORMON sex therapist... his usual statement" Love is easy... for the most part it requires the right emotion and the right impetus.... It's the RELATIONSHIP that is hard." I love many of the bodies/minds that I've touched... but I've never found a satisfaction better than what I've discovered with a husband of 17 years and our two amazing kids. I don't need anything from outside sources but a chance to see "what's out there..." Perhaps that's the real difficulty... analyzing our motives and admitting our jealousies. For example, I consider myself flat chested... It's why I LOVE encounters with buxom women... but I am willing to admit that my interest comes from a place of jealousy ... I don't ignore jealousies...I use them to my advantage. I am not girlfriend material... Monogamy bores me. But I do fit in with the group of couples who want full honesty.

Vegas: Swingers circle or couples oasis? - Which do I prefer - Vegas baby Vegas

Single Males - - [quote=CTA313][quote=EVILDOERS] ...get a girl to join you....Not only do you now "bring more to the table", but you have the added credibility that if you can find and finesse a girl into joining you in this little adventure we call swinging (whether it be a girlfriend, a wife, a second cousin twice removed, or just a hot fwb) you might just not be a giant douchecopter.[/quote] Ignoring the need to "finesse" someone and unhealthy gender stereotypes in general, this line of reasoning is a little troubling as it presumes that a male's company is inherently worth less. Or that an absence of semi-romantic relationships somehow speaks poorly of his character. I personally think approaching someone whom you aren't already fairly close with and soliciting to go to a swingers party is a bit out of line. Especially if her company is sought as an accessory to demonstrate to others that he is not, as you say, “a douchecopter”. Call me old-fashioned. [quote=EVILDOERS] I know we can't be the only people who secretly wonder just a little bit about some single guys and why they aren't with somebody. Do they secretly hate women (yes, we've met some that actually do), are they just too lazy (or busy, maybe...but hey, we're all busy) to find someone, are they serial killers and/or just not very nice guys? [/quote] Oh, I hope you are! That's a really unfortunate outlook to have. Promising relationships take time to find, let alone build to the requisite amount of trust and stability to try things like this. In the mean time, I don't see anything wrong with someone pursuing their interests while still holding out for someone worthy of their emotional investment. To me, that behavior is quite attractive should be respected! It doesn't get any better than someone who is confident, self-actualized, and motivated to pursue their desires. Sadly, it sounds their gender influences whether this is seen as a desirable trait. I'm not sure how long you've been out of things (30 years?), but it's easy to forget the struggle when you're comfortable in a marriage. Things are more fluid. People don't feel the need to settle down like they used to. [quote=EVILDOERS]I know many will say they've tried and swinging is a deal breaker for most women. After almost 3 decades in the swinging trenches meeting and talking to other people, both couples and singles, we would disagree....many, if not most, women could eventually come around to the idea of swinging once they feel safe and secure in a relationship.[/quote] This is just confirmation bias if the evidence comes from a sample of people you have met while swinging. [quote=EVILDOERS]...those of us who DID put in all the blood, sweat, and tears into a relationship and allow it to grow to the point of daring (don't think for a second we aren't risking a LOT in opening up our relationships to other people!) to allow others access to our significant other sometimes wonder why some others want to take a shortcut to all the sweet swinging bennies with little or no risk on their own part.[/quote] If you're not comfortable sharing your wife with someone you might view as a potential competition, you definitely don't have to. On the other hand, there are a lot of people enjoy it :) This smacks of the old “you must suffer as I did” chestnut. [/quote] Yes, I agree, "finesse" was a poor choice of words. In my defense, I was at work and rather in a hurry to make a point...that apparently I didn't make well (and my attempts to also be humorous apparently fell flat too). Rereading my post it does smack a little of mild gender bias but I can assure you that it wasn't my intent in any way and most certainly is not my outlook on women, relationships or life in general. My intent was simply to advocate approaching swinging as a mutually desirable activity that two partners desire and share equally in. And not that it matters, but I've shared my wife with probably over a hundred men, married and single, and I've never thought of any of them as competition. But I never thought of swinging as "sharing" my wife either, but instead as her deciding to be sexual with another person and me being totally okay with her decision to do so. Sharing her, to me, almost denotes some sort of ownership or at very least some kind of permission that I would have to give. Both those ideas are not a part of our relationship. Perhaps the concept of "competition" in swinging interactions is a single male attitude? I don't know. And I didn't mean it in any way, shape, or form as a "you must suffer as I did" trope but simply as the idea that we invested a LOT of hard work and time making our marriage what it is and together deciding to risk opening it up to the excitement and also the possibility of harm that is swinging. I think, perhaps, that sometimes single people in the lifestyle don't quite understand the very real possibility of permanent damage (or worse) to the relationship that couples who swing are flirting with. For many (most?) of us, our marriages/relationships are THE most precious thing we have. What, if anything, are you risking? A bruised ego?

Daybreak - Is the Daybreak area a hot spot for people in the LS? - There used to be a really fun Daybreak Swingers group on Facebook. I've tried to get back in touch with them, but everyone disappeared lol.

Where are the Houston Swingers - Is anyone from the Houston area actually using this site? - So we have been on this site for a while and we have met several couples in the Salt Lake City area on here. We never can seem to get any response from Houston couples. Its almost like they dont even use the site to hook up with others. Maybe its us but something tells me the site just is not doing much in the Houston area.

Friend collectors or swingers - - [quote=Mrmedic]I do have a question regarding this as I'm sure I'd be labeled as a "friend collector" based on how many friend requests I send out. My question is, how can you tell who is active vs who is not? The way I've tried to determine this is by sending "blind" friend requests to people I find interesting, and if they accept it, I assume they're active, and I send them a message. Is there an easier way to determine who has at least been on here recently vs those who haven't been on here for a year or longer? I definitely don't want to seem like I'm just a friend collector, but I also don't want to waste hours typing specific messages for profiles when 93% of them haven't been on in years and will never respond, if that makes sense.[/quote] On desktop you can see the “Last Visit” date. That’s what we look at to see if people are active.

A&E New show about swingers... - neighbors with benefits.... - [quote=KIDSATPLAY]Why would any industry sponsor shows about the positive side of Swinging? I doubt there is any big money in promoting the swing lifestyle any more than there is profit to singing the praises of plural marriage. The vice industry might even suffer financially should swinging really catch on. This is a lifestyle that must eat the crumbs that fall from the gay lesbian table to acquire any "me to" acceptance. It seems like social and financial suicide for the deep pockets.[/quote] Naw. It's all about being able to sell advertising and a show about sex with the addition of a shock factor and ESPECIALLY one where people can watch it and smugly judge other people who are participating in it should do fairly well IMHO. [em]Emo_96[/em]

I’m defense of single males - Funny old geezers - [quote=DELICIOUSLYWET][quote=PARTYINLV]We are in our sixth year on this site. We are also currently on three more sites, even after dropping two more. When we joined Swingular, we were taken aback from the negativity toward single guys. We did not see this this level of animosity on any other of the sites we are or were on. Aside from the folks from Idaho and Wyoming (and very, very few nationwide), this site is predominately Utah based. I am not negatively judging Utah since a survey or research was never done, but we had to wonder if this hatred is a Utah thing. Or was it a few couples who made it seem normal to hate and everyone just jumped on the bandwagon? Human history has taught us that ostracizing is easier than accepting. Who knows? We certainly don't understand it. Many couples correctly point out that single guys are not [b]"swingers"[/b] since they don't swap. But, we believe that single guys are part of the [b]"lifestyle"[/b] for many couples. Why is fmf ok, but mfm is not ok? As a side note: The vast majority of our play is with couples(our preference). But we occasionally like mfm for the different dynamics it offers. We have been very lucky with mfm and haven't had a bad experience yet, which I cannot say is always true with every couple we've met.[/quote] We live here. Our experience is that most couples do not hate single men. Most married men are not intimidated by the presence of single men. Most couples and singles whether super active or rarely active in the lifestyle don’t post anything in the forum section of this website. As is the case with so much on the internet, a few of us that do read or post in the forums, may give others the impression that we are a good general representation of the community’s mindset. Obviously we aren’t. What we read here is mostly just personal preferences. There are some thoughts expressed that we find interesting, sometimes enlightening. Sometimes people are just venting. Sometimes it’s angry venting stemming from personal experience. As for insecurities, we all have at least a few.[/quote] Well said. Thank you!

How much is too much - The right protocol? - I would think that there are a few issues here. 1. If you haven't talked or chatted with any of these folks you've sent a fr to, or at least sent a message along with the fr, they may just delete it. That's what we do. 2. If they do approve in these cases, they could just be doing it so they can go in and view your private pics then delete the friend and then you can't view theirs. Kinda chickenshit in my opinion. 3. You age could be hinder some to take you seriously as swingers because I have noticed that although everyone likes young women, some feel that the younger couples are not mature enough to be swingers. Anyway you look at it, it might serve you well to chat with some people a bit before sending requests. And if they don't like you, fuck em'. Give us a shout and we will be your friends. :)

Massages - She need massages - [quote=midcrisis]in our minds we are all better then the pros....just ask us.[/quote] I would even go out on a limb here and suggest that some swingers might give BETTER massages than an experienced LMT...at least as far as rubbing parts that a masseuse is legally prohibited from touching. Since I sincerely doubt they cover the fine art of erotic massage (especially with a happy ending) in LMT school, someone who has been a swinger for a certain amount of time would likely be more adept and/or experienced in that particular 'sub-specialty' of massage. [em]Emo_49[/em]