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sluts? what? - how so? - [quote=DELICIOUSLYWET]There is a book called "The Ethical Slut: A Guide to Infinite Sexual Possibilities" written by Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy that defines Slut in a positive light. They might be using slut in that context. The book has been very popular with swingers for quite a few years. [/quote]
I would hope they are using it in that sense.. but words that compile around the slut term make it strongly seem like it's a negative term.. sadly..
Calling all losers! - LS and club scene - We have said to ourselves before that 'we must be the worst swingers in the world'. We say this because sometimes we will get a text or email at 11pm and all it says is 'we are horny, lets meet and fuck'...hell we are already in bed and sometimes hubby is asleep.
For us it is about friendship first..dinner to get to know each other...movies, bowling, etc, etc and than when we all decide to play it is really fun and you actually know the others you are with and want to see them again. Seems like a lot of pressure to always be on call to play. We have very busy with work and life, a friend or two would be great. Don't get us wrong, we have met some amazing people through the lifestyle.
If you are close to us and would like to be friends...let us and let's met.
Thanks T and B
What is it to being a swinger couple - Is it always this way - When you hook up with a couple, you are hooking up to the part of their life they in general want to keep secrete. They don't want you as friends that will filter into their everyday normal life. And there is always times where you know the other couple are great people, but the sex just was not that good. Most all sex is fun, but some sex is way better. You have to be able to sep real life friends and sex friends, its not often they mix well. People have their family, jobs and life in general to protect and don't want you close to any of it or should I say will risk having you close to it. It's not personal, it's reality and swinging is fantacy and you were a booty call. If you find true friends, generally the playing stops. You don't want to risk true friends for a quick piece of bootie. We see swingers who seem to have play friends that work, but if we see them a year later. It has almost always chaged for some reason. So relax, have fun and move on. There will be couples you do not want a play date with again too. :)
Creating an Amazing Swingers Profile - How to market yourself better - I think my advice above boils down to:
1) Be honest.. Don't try to mislead people about who or what you are.
2) Make an effort to give others a chance to get to know you and trust you.
3) Don't be gross.
And this stuff is nothing more than my opinion.. While I would love a world where everyone is required to agree with me, that probably won't happen for at least 5 more years, if things continue to go well. ;)
swingers resort - - Sea Mountain landed in Desert Hot springs after Dewie lost his place in Malibu CA. He brought the Hollywood vibe with him when he took over the new place & he sunk a ton of money into it. He works hard to keep everything high end, from the Egyptian cotton linens to the mineral water hot tub. Its a nice place. It tends to be high energy & It's normally packed. I often stay at a German spa that is a few blocks away & just get day passes to sea mountain when they are full. The clientele is a little mixed, but it's mostly pretty people & there is normally a lot of action there.
Food in the area is hit & miss. My favorite reasonably priced restaurant is a place called Fisherman's in Palm Springs.
The area gets kind of sketchy at night. I've had some run ins with crack heads when I've gone for supplies late in the evening. Sea Mountain itself is completely safe, but I would plan to stock up on supplies during the day. Also, the AM/PM station on Gene Autry Trail doesn't take credit cards after dark, so plan your gas around that as well.
Girls that are into DP - How common is this activity among the swingers? - She works on the basis that if one cock is good, two are better. But only if she can have a pussy to lick too.
Single Females/couples. What makes another couple stand out? - - [quote=Marman]What makes a couple stand out to you? We are new and VERY inexperienced. We aren't sure how to be noticed. How to connect with like minded individuals. What draws you to someone's profile? What makes you message them? What keeps you interested?[/quote]
The situation in Utah is different than many other localities because there is not much of a club scene. By that I mean swingers clubs, most large cities have at least one or more. These are places where you can meet friends to have sex or fool around or even make new friends. They are very popular in Houston, we have 5 clubs. While its not what we like many younger people do like them. You probably will not meet a single girl but you could meet a couple or single guy. Some couples prefer swinger resorts or cruises for sexual activity with others.
We prefer dating other couples and getting to know one another over drinks and if everyone agrees then getting naked and exploring our boundaries. Of course attraction is the first thing we notice but how a couple expresses themselves in their profile really makes a difference for us. Parties are also a great way to meet people and meet and greets are also. We have no problem emailing couples we are interested in or think we might be attracted to and we probably get a response 10% of the time and maybe end up meeting less than half the time. Usually if we meet something happens sexually if everyone agrees and is having fun.
Your profile reads well and you are young and attractive. You need more pictures of the both of you even if they are just fully are partially clothed. One pic is unlikely to get the attention you seek. If you want to start with a single lady your chances go down significantly because there are few of them out there and they get to be particular on who they choose to meet. With single men its just the opposite, there are many and they will mostly meet anyone. Look at some of the other profiles and see what you like and try to incorporate that into your profile. If you decide to be really particular on who you meet then you will probably meet fewer people. Patience and a sense of humor about the whole thing will go a long way in helping you have fun times in the lifestyle.
Age differences - How do you handle it - We2, I can understand what you are saying. My first wife was 16 years older then I and my current wife is 6 years younger. First wife helped me to mature early and quickly and current wife keeps me young and on my toes. Seems like most everyone feels similar to us. Maybe the people having the conversation we were involved in should have said the younger swingers that were at the party they were referring to were not as mature instead of saying they are more into flirting and dirty dancing rather then playing.
Another Swingers Show on TV - - That'll be something to be DVR'd.
We have heard about it many times........... - Couples that are swingers - Again, the intent of this post wasn't to obsess over this one bad time. It was to express our feelings and frustration. The advice everyone has shared with us is very helpful. We just want to avoid this kind of situation in the future. Realistically we do realize that we will come across this sort of thing again but atleast now we will be better prepared to deal with it. We will do things differently next time. Hopefully any simiular couples reading this will also choose not to contact us and the ones that are on our level will.
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