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What would you do? - what does a person do when their spouse no longer wishes to paticipate - Well.
How amazing that the "couple in question" just happens to be in my home town. And my wife and I are at a serious impasse about the same subject, but in the "traditional direction" i.e. I still want it. She still doesn't.
I'm... very surprised that a bunch of Swingers are so unanimous that "No trumps yes": that swinging is just something you do - but are ashamed of enough that any "no" in the group instantly defines the partner's life as well. Why isn't "yes" just as valid?
In our case, we've been married for over 25 years. We've had a very-good run. Our children are grown and gone. We're financially comfortable. And we're still physically capable - as we watch our parents be physically unable to walk, hear, see, pee, or do much of anything to enjoy *anything* - the point there being that I hear the clock ticking and to me, this is THE time of life to reap one's reward for the life one has lead - before it's too late to do anything but try to keep breathing.
And for me, being honest, the ONE thing that is my reward - is erotic fun. Let me be clear that what I crave is *erotic fun* - not just madly try to find someone new to fuck and never see again - but partners who want to wallow in the erotic experience of "Truth or Dare" and Lifestyle conventions and teasing and games. That's IT for me. That's why "doing it" is called "doing IT". And I've been a great husband/father/responsible citizen for over 50 years. And I feel that there isn't anything else in my life that really gives me a "reason for living".
And my wife, bless her, just has never had any passion. She enjoys it when I have sex with her. When I give her a nice massage followed by 3 or 4 orgasms. But she's happy with twice a month or less. And she had no need at all for my "erotic experiences". So here we are. And over the last 10 years we've tried pretty-much every possibility: traditional fidelity, me cheating, us swinging, me swinging alone with her permission... and it always ultimately winds up that the only way she is not *miserable* is if I'm following "traditional fidelity". And the only way I'm not miserable - is if I have the freedom to pursue erotic associations.
Now. If my passion were bowling, there wouldn't be a problem. If her passion were gardening or shoe shopping, there wouldn't be a problem. Everybody would just tell us to do our thing without the other - and enjoy what we *do* enjoy together. But somehow sex is THE one that we have to do *together* or not at all.
So we're very very seriously trying to figure out if we'd both be happier by tearing up a marriage and going our separate ways.
We can all *say* that whoever does NOT want to swing - rules the day, but imagine whatever your very-favorite thing is to do. Then imagine your spouse telling you: "I don't like to do that, so WE won't ever do that and You won't do it without me - and you won't do it alone, either - ever again". Now what?
Threaded messenger - We want threaded messenger - [quote=FIT_N_FUN]“There are some really damaged people” on Fetlife? Really? Lmao ... FYI Fetlife is NOT a swinger site, it’s a BDSM site. Just because you don’t share their fetish doesn’t make them damaged. 🙄[/quote]
It's actually a lifestyle site and swinger is one of the designations to choose from when setting up a profile. We've met and played with a lot of swingers from that site, so I'd say it's a viable option for swingers.
And to clarify, I'm not referring to their individual kinks. I'm referring to the writings on that site. We've read some deeply disturbing things on that site and if you're an active member, you know of at least a couple recent issues that gained a lot of attention.[/quote]
I disagree, and we’ve been on Fet for many many years. Fetlife is a kink/BDSM fetish community. Yes, you can designate yourself as a swinger, but the site is in no way a “swinger” site. In fact I think most kinksters on Fet will want nothing to do with swingers who don’t have kinky fetishes, and are just hoping to hook up,
Of course there are pure vanilla swingers there, but I sure wouldn’t recommend it as a “swinger” site. Kasidie is a far better swinger site as an alternative to this crap site lol
Girls that are into DP - How common is this activity among the swingers? - Like almost every other women who responded, i love DP as well. As soon as you find the right people the walls can start coming down lol
Are swingers moral? - Who determines what morals are? - [quote=HELLO_KITTY12984]I figure that the golden rule, kharma, and working to better myself as a whole are good morals and make me moral and whatever. lulz. And as far as people thinking morals making you a good person... pretty sure you can be a good person with or without god. :P[/quote]
We have to agree with Kitty! We know that we live a moral life and we have nothing to fear from kharma. If only more people would only live by, "Do unto others..."
Saturdays Vortex Party - - Just an idea. Even the wife and I have talked about this. When we first started in the L/S back in NC. We went to hotel Parties. Then a cpl from FL baught a house just for swinger parties. They didnt live there just opened it up on sat. for swingers. It was privite house so you didnt have to worry about cops and you could pretty much do as you like. We had a good time at the V but did not like the fact that on the dance floor there was a wall of guys just stairing you down. I know Ut has its own rules. Lets just get a house. :) for us all to meet.
This one time at Swingers Camp - Discussion about N by N camp out - Great time! Can't wait until next year. Thanks to all who worked to make it happen.
Christain Swingers? - - Anyone have any links to research this beyond Libchrist? I believe you can be a christian and swing.
Swingers Kickball Society - - I haven't played since grade school. Sounds like fun. count us in.
Sexy swingers closer to our age - 20-30 year old sexy swingers - 32 and 29 here
Xmas carols for swingers. - - Aw c'mon all you Grinches. Not even a "Santa Clause is cummin'"? If you aren't good Swinger Clause will leave a used condom in your stockings!
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