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Swinging and Children Don't Mix With Me, What about You? - Unforgettable experience - I have to say, having children and trying to meet with couples can be very hard on your lifestlye. Family always comes first in my book, but it doesn't seem like every parent thinks that, which is why I'm letting you know why they should start thinking about it.
We thought that maybe if we could meet with a couple that also have a child or has children, that we could have a better, lasting relationship and have other things to enjoy with these couples, besides just swinging. Well, one couple didn't work out with us and I don't know how to go about letting them know they were wrong in what happened.
I'm the only one that even seemed to get upset about the situation and I wanted to get others opionion to make sure I don't owe an opology to them. Here's what happened.....
Me and my husband met with a couple at a swingers club, which was off-premise, and we talked some and explained we had children and that we wanted to meet with couples, but it was hard with younsters and it was also hard to find a reliable and trusting babysitter to be able to enjoy the night out. They the told us they had a child and that if we wanted to talk more and get to know each other better, that we could come to their home for a dinner, with our kids. Now...we explained up front that we don't play seperate and we definitely did not play if we had our children with us. They said that it wouldn't be a problem, no hank-panky with kids around, because they too had a small one. This sounded really great to us, because we thought we found a good couple to be friends with and have some extra benefits too, if we wanted.
Well, things started out okay. We were greeted at the door by the family, and our kids was introduced to their child, and was showed some computer games and such to play. That gave us time to talk a little to the couple and was shown the outside of their home and such before dinner. After dinner is when everything went WRONG. First, I had to go to the bathroom. Well, while I was gone to the bathroom, the Mrs. decide to give my hubby a tour of the rest of the house, mainly the extra bedroom....and when I asked the hubby where my hubby was, he said.."Don't worry about them, they'll be okay for awhile"...well, that really ticked me off, especially knowing our children were now mixed up in this...and our oldest asking where his daddy went with that lady.....that was about the last straw for me....but I was in these peoples home, not mine, and I respect others homes, but in this situation, I was ready to leave, and without my other half....because he too knew our rules of playing.
Well, when the Mrs. and mine came back up, my other half knew I was mad, but for some strange reason, he felt like he had to still play around with her, and in the same room all the children were in!!!! Not to mention, she couldn't keep her hands off him, which was not making my situation of trying to calm down any easier.
When I finally got my hubby alone, I "very persistantly" told him me and the kids were leaving...NOW..and if he was smart he had better be out the front door before me or I would leave him there, and I truely meant it. I was so angry and hurt by all of the happenings around me, I thought that if this is what it's like to try and swing...FORGET IT...my nerves or marriage weren't going to stay together if this is what I had to look forward to everytime.
My hubby didn't get out the door before me..he was too busy kissing the Mrs good-bye....and I mean french-kissing..... but, thank Goodness I got the kids out the door before me....and that didn't help out any on his part, believe me. We stopped swinging for many years after that because of trust with one another and with other couples saying one thing and then doing another.
This particular couple apparently feels that nothing was wrong with what happened, and actually contacted us again after many, many, many years after this incident happened.
I'm not one either to "shun" anyone, but this expereince really bothered me then, and still does, and after them contacting us again, through an e-mail, not by phone, it makes me wonder about my feelings on the matter.
Am I wrong to feel this way, even after all these years? I do trust my husband NOW, after the bad expereinces, because there was one more after that, but it took alot of talking, yelling, and regaining a trust that is hard to achieve after something that drastic that involved your kids in the process.
I e-mailed them back, but I know it was short and blunt, nothing mean, I don't do things like that, but what if they try again to contact us...what do I say?
Any help/advice/opinions is appreciated.
Hope no one ever has to expereince something like this...most marriages would never have lasted unless you really had a great understanding with your mate, and we put ours to the test and passed.......barely.
Staying a couple in the lifestyle - - Our experience so far:
Religious > naturist > meet naturists/nudists who are swingers > soft swap > non-religious > full swap with couples same room > full swap separate room
Many lifestyle couples we know have followed a very similar path.
The rest of some of their evolution concerns us, especial polyamorous couples, triples, etc.
The tendency seems to be (very generalized) is to date and play separately. If the relationship becomes polyamorous, divorce seems VERY common.
We like having more than physical chemistry. Personality and interests are part of the package, but it is difficult to get an 8 way connection (chemistry between all 4 people).
We actually like the friendships more than playing, so we are comfortable where we are at the moment.
Thoughts?
Sexy swingers closer to our age - 20-30 year old sexy swingers - Glad we are already friends! We will see you soon hopefully!
Is anybody on this site for fucking real or just a bunch of tease - - Seems like if you're not dtf on first meet it's a no go.. plus since we're more poly then swingers we get ignored. Mostly have had fakes and flakes from this site... plus trying to chat with a single female is also a joke.. Seems like girls want girls, couples want girls and the girls open to guys are wanting horse hung gym rats or sugar daddies... it sucks.
exspense of taking husband and boyfriend to party - - [quote=PITMOMMY]you know what i was originally think when i started this was that, iam masculine in my relationship with both guys, they both have more feminie than masculine qualities, then i read posts on here about homophobic guys who dont dp because they dont want to touch penises, its like wtf, then iam wondering where bi sexual men fit into this swingers community who are supposidly open mined, i would think that if this community were so open mined they would see a person as a masculine or femmine spirit, what if my bf like feminine guys, will there be any at a lifestyle party? what if a guy likes masculine women how many will be there? the closed minded nature of these parties sets the whole thing back to before the sixties, they might as well only allow straight wife swapping and no bisexual men allowed[/quote]
Let's not go taking one thing and try calling it another! The topic had nothing to do with sexuality and everything to do with being too damn frugal.
Staying a couple in the lifestyle - - [quote=Sofutosuwappu]Our experience so far:
Religious > naturist > meet naturists/nudists who are swingers > soft swap > non-religious > full swap with couples same room > full swap separate room
Thoughts?[/quote]
Wow - what a great thread Sofutosuwappu! I just read some of these responses today. We're actually shocked! Evil - 60 couples . . . WOW! This has not been our experience at all.
While we are relatively new in the LS (since 2015) and we definitely have less LS play experience than most who have commented - our experience has been very different from that described . . . both in terms of our own evolution, but also in terms of what we have personally witnessed with friends.
ALL of the couples we have met in the LS are still together and in loving long-term relationships (as far as we know). Part of that may be dumb luck . . . part of it may be in the 'rules' we set for ourselves. We don't play separately . . . part of the fun is seeing your partner receive joy, pleasure, and excitement! We also specifically seek out people in Long Term relationships . . . and we have stayed away from profiles that intimated a DTF (down to fuck) kind of mind set. Not that there is anything wrong with that - we don't judge . . . just not something we have been interested in. We are attracted to beautiful relationships.
As for our own evolution . . we are STILL very religious, we jumped into the LS first . . . and THEN became nudists 🤣 We have made only a slight adjustment to our play style from our first adventure, and we have no interest in becoming 'non-religious' - we have found the LS to be a continuation or advancement of our understanding of the Judeo-Christian commandment to 'Love One Another'. Maybe we just haven't been in long enough . . . maybe we are self-deluded and are secretly living a life of cognitive dissonance . . . but so far so good.
One HUGE change is that when we first started in the LS . . . we thought we would want to be completely anonymous . . . going so far as to create 'fake names' etc. (I know . . . but we were still virgins . . . we feel SOME guilt about that . . . but we have subsequently repented!😉) We thought that the less people knew about us . . . the better. That changed 180 degrees within the first 6 months of our stumbling into this LS. Now . . . we only seek friends . . . who can be genuine friends . . . and if that progresses to any type of sexual exploration . . . all the better . . . but the friendship rules.
I'm sure we still have a lot to figure out in this regard - but we cherish our new and longer-term friendships . . . and honestly can't wait to spend time with these people. We are missing the summer live concert venues . . . and we can't wait till the next time we meet with friends. If that makes us 'poly-amorous' . . . then consider us 'guilty as charged' - We have somehow managed to maintain significant and deep friendships with just about everyone we've played with. We don't see that changing.
Hope that helps - thought it might as far as providing an alternate perspective. We love the authenticity and honesty shown to us by friends in the LS - we honestly have a hard time now maintaining vanilla relationships . . . whats the point??🤷♂️
Thank you all for the riveting discussion!
The Real Hotwives of Phoenix Hotel Takeover! - A Weekend Catered To Hotwife Couples, Cuckold Couples & Select Single Men - April 13th-16th, 2023
www.playhouselv.com
Join PlayhouseLV and Front Porch Swingers for a weekend you won't soon forget! This 3-day takeover is held at a boutique hotel in the heart of Phoenix for hotwife couples, cuckold couples, and respectful single men.
Theme Nights
Allow your imaginations to run wild, and join us for themed dance parties!
Thursday, April 13th: Glow Night!
Friday, April 14th: Toga Party! Toga, Toga, TOGA! Need we say more?
Saturday, April 15th: White-Out/All-White Party!
Daytime Pool Parties
Take a splash in the oasis-style pool, make new connections, and enjoy an array of sexy and entertaining pool games!
Friday, April 14th: Metallic Swimsuit Party
Saturday, April 15th: Welcome to the jungle! Sport your wildest animal print suits!
Sunday, April 16th: Sunday Funday Rehab Pool Party
We will have Fantasy Body Designs doing Body Taping and Airbrushing for the Theme Events.
Play Spaces
Throughout the weekend, play spaces will be open to all attendees. Each space will be set up differently to cater to a wide variety of different interests. You will have the choices to have a private room or an open playroom.
The Shibari Room: This room is sponsored by the Accidental Swingers Podcast and they are experts in Shibari
The Content Creators Room: This special room is just for you to use. Clean, and big with extra lights to shoot in.
The Kinky Playground: A "BDSM" room suited for the adventurous at heart! Let your kink flag fly, with trained staff standing by to assist and instruct.
The Group Room: Suitable for ladies that appreciate more than one gentleman at a time!
The Voyeur Room: For those that revel in an audience, or for the guys who enjoy observing their ladies, this is the room for you! You will have the choice of putting yourself on a closed circuit tv in the other room for others to watch too.
The Private Husbands Group Room: Suitable for ladies that appreciate more than one gentleman at a time but the guy wants to watch from another room on a closed circuit tv.
The Private Husbands' Voyeur Room: For couples that enjoy the lady playing alone but the guy can watch from another room on a closed circuit tv.
The Private Gloryhole Room: The Gloryhole room is split into two rooms. The couple will have their own private room with a bathroom and the guests will be able to come and go from the front door anytime.
The Private Reverse Gloryhole Room: Almost like the Gloryhole room except there will be a comfortable table for the lady to lie on instead. The room is split into two rooms. The couple will have their own private room with a bathroom and the guests will be able to come and go from the front door anytime.
MORE ROOMS TO COME
The Venue
This boutique hotel has many amazing amenities to keep you feeling comfortable throughout the weekend:
- Restaurant on site serving 3 meals a day.
- Full bar service on property
- Spacious and modern rooms
- Stunning pool and hot tub areas, complete with rentable cabanas and chaise lounges
- A rooftop lounge area, perfect for sipping a cocktail with new friends
- Convenient location in the heart of Phoenix, making it easy to explore downtown Phoenix, nearby golf courses, and much more
Rooms:
Weekend Package- 1 Bedroom King Suite
This includes one hotel suite (3 nights) for either a couple or single, weekend passes to all pool parties and nightly-themed parties, and access to the indulgence spaces. Check-in is Thursday, April 13th, and checking out Sunday, April 16th. Suites are larger and have upgraded features. Room amenities include a Large 400-500 sq ft room Non-smoking One King bed Separate living room area 42" or 50" flat-screen TV Extra-wide safe Desk & Dresser.
Weekend Package- 1 Bedroom 2 Queen Beds Suite
This includes one hotel suite (3 nights) for either a couple or single, weekend passes to all pool parties and nightly-themed parties, and access to the indulgence spaces. Check-in is Thursday, April 13th, and checking out Sunday, April 16th. Suites are larger and have upgraded features. Room amenities include a Large 400-500 sq ft room Non-smoking Two Queen beds a Separate living room area 42" or 50" flat-screen TV Extra-wide safe Desk & Dresser.
Weekend Package- Jr Suite King Room:
This includes one hotel room (3 nights) for either a couple or single, weekend passes to all pool parties and nightly-themed parties, and access to the indulgence spaces. Check-in is Thursday, April 13th, and checking out Sunday, April 16th. Room amenities include: Comfortable 400 sq ft room Non-smoking King bed 42" flat-screen TV Extra-wide safe Desk & Dresser.
Weekend Package- Jr Suite 2 Queen Room:
This includes one hotel room (3 nights) for either a couple or single, weekend passes to all pool parties and nightly-themed parties, and access to the indulgence spaces. Check-in is Thursday, April 13th, and checking out Sunday, April 16th. Room amenities include: Comfortable 400 sq ft room Non-smoking Two queen beds 42" flat-screen TV Extra-wide safe Desk & Dresser.
Weekend Package- King Standard Room:
This includes one hotel room (3 nights) for either a couple or single, weekend passes to all pool parties and nightly-themed parties, and access to the indulgence spaces. Check-in is Thursday, April 13th, and checking out Sunday, April 16th. Room amenities include a Comfortable 325 sq ft room Non-smoking One king bed 42" flat-screen TV Extra-wide safe Desk & Dresser.
Single Male "Room Roulette" Weekend Package
This includes access to all events throughout the weekend, as well as a double occupancy room, shared with another person. Please note: By choosing this option, you elect to be placed in a room with another attendee. You do not get to choose who the other person is.
Single Male Double Occupancy Weekend Package
Sign up with a friend, and share a double occupancy room. Please note in an email to us who the other attendee is staying in the same room. Both parties MUST be approved members of the site and pay their individual ticket costs. This pass is good for a one-weekend pass to all events, as well as the shared room.
Cabanas:
Cabanas are available for day events from 11 am - 5 pm and Night events from 9 pm - 2 am. Includes seating for 6 and free mixers and water.
Important Information
- Email us if you want to be put on a payment plan for tickets.
- Tickets will not be available at the door. All tickets must be purchased by approved members prior to the event.
- Couples day passes and weekend passes will go on sale at a later date.
- The name of the hotel and address will be provided to ticketed guests only. This is for the security and discretion of the attendees as well as the hotel itself.
- All of our events are consent-first environments. Anyone who touches without asking or otherwise behaves inappropriately will be removed from the event without a refund or warning. There are no exceptions to this policy.
www.playhouselv.com
I Have A Question - Poly vs. Open - [quote=PAIRPLAYERS][quote=EVILDOERS]Thanks for the responses so far. I thought of a couple of additional questions. Are you seeking, finding and connecting with other open/poly people here on Swingular or are you finding people thru other means? Also, do you find that most of the people you connect with are single or are they in their own primary relationships? Does it matter much to you if they are single or coupled?[/quote]
Great question. Almost exclusively non swinger community singles surprisingly. Have tried amongst the swingers but they seem to have a very quid pro quo mentality. [/quote]
Yes, they do! We noticed that dynamic almost immediately when we first entered the lifestyle and were actually talking about it just today in the context of no quid pro quo being a distinct positive in the column of open or poly lifestyles vs. swinging. SO many times when I was even just TALKING to a woman her partner or husband would basically go grab Ms. Evil, no matter what she was doing or who she was talking to, and assume it was perfectly okay to just do more or less whatever he wanted. After all, I was doing something/anything with HIS partner!
Wow! Great responses everyone. SO informative! Thank-you.
KSL swing story - - For those of you guys out of town. This is the transcript from the KSL website.
"Everyone has shared their partners with everyone else in the room."
"You're in happy valley and you think nothing like that could happen."
An Eyewitness News Investigation takes us inside a delicate subject few people like to talk about -- infidelity, couples cheating, in secret, in the open, and joining a movement that appears to be gaining momentum.
We heard persistent rumors that spouse-swapping and adultery is commonplace in certain suburban neighborhoods. We discovered those rumors were based on at least some truth. People told us they were being recruited -- marriage counselors say they are seeing more if it.
There aren't statistics or easy answers, but it's clear the effects can be devastating.
Love, commitment, holy matrimony. In Utah, where marriage vows and family values run deep.
Woman: "They said it was more exciting when their spouse was involved."
This story will open eyes to something many would like to keep secret.
"It was taboo within their religious background."
"I thought, this can't be happening here. This is Utah."
Sometimes it's kept very quiet, among neighbors and friends. Other times, it's out in the open. Studies show infidelity is to blame for more than half of divorces in Utah. What we found surprised even experts.
We knocked on doors, attended a party. We heard stories by phone, by email, but nothing could match what we heard in a pocket of Draper.
"Something was wrong with every other neighbor in that neighborhood."
Her husband's indiscretions shattered their marriage.
"Intensely, intensely painful. It's the hardest thing I've ever been through in my life."
The divorce final, he remarried one of their neighbors within a week. It seems adultery ran rampant. Up the block it was consensual with other married neighbors cheating together.
People told us they moved to get away from it and stayed inside to avoid it. Across town one woman told us she just wanted to run from it:
"Everyone in the room had shared their partners with everyone else in the room. These people had been married five, 10, 20 years."
She and her husband were invited to a barbeque with couples from Draper, Provo, Sandy and Salt Lake. A doctor made a move.
"He's hitting on me, like he's single, and his wife's sitting right there. I think, there's another motive to this party and it's not just to hang out and meet new people."
They got out of there.
While there's no data, experts say it's proof of a trend.
Vicky Burgess/Ph.D. Clinical Psychologist: "I think, because sexual relations and sex itself is more open, I think we're seeing more of it."
We found there are several parties where couples can meet.
Randy Chatelain, Ph.D./ Marriage and Family Therapist: "I believe this kind of behavior is going to catch up with a couple, because where does it stop? What more do you have to involve to create the high?"
Hundreds of couples pack a popular Sandy nightclub.
"A lot of people nowadays have fantasies and they want to fulfill them with their significant other. This is the best way to do that."
This man, who asked not to be identified, built a business, helping couples meet at parties. His website suggests spouses can be in love and still enjoy sex with others.
"They figure, 'I would much rather do it with the person I love than have them do it behind my back.'"
From the looks of it, he's pretty successful. He has 4,000 members living in Utah. How fast is it growing? Four years ago there were 150 members.
How common is it? Posing as a married woman, we signed up on a website aimed at so-called "swingers." In six days, 70 married men, most from Utah, ask to start a fling.
Young swingers party - sold out, who still wants to party ? - [quote=BMSHELL][quote=CHEFFETTE]That would be a brilliant way to make a bunch of quick cash off the oldsters, promise they'd be surrounded by nubile youngsters, then shrug your shoulders when it's mostly a wrinkle-palooza of 60-something men who'd have to admit they lied their way in.[/quote]
I think you just described the business model of every swinger-club in Vegas. =)
[/quote]
Where would you put such a club, purely in theory? :scribbles notes furiously:
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