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BUSTED! Your Kids Found Out Your Swingers. Now What? - - IMO, you wouldn't explain yourself about your monogamous "vanilla" sex life or activities, so why would you about this?
The subject of this thread was about your kids finding out. I'm not sure what age group of kids we're talking about and that can make a big difference. If they are adult children, you can simply tell them you are sorry they had to find out about it and regret that it makes them uncomfortable but it is your private life and will leave it there...in private. I think it is wise to reassure them that you will not do anything to embarrass them (start acting differently around them or other family members, etc.) and that nothing between you and them will change. Before they found out you were still the parent they loved and this will continue now.
If they are young children, it can be a little more complicated. The questions aren't just about the lifestyle but also about sex since they are probably learning and curious about the topic in general. But, you could keep it very simple (& age appropriate) and explain that sex is something adults enjoy privately and that if they have any questions about sex (emphasis not on swinging) you will be happy to answer.
If they pursue asking about swinging, I would just share that this is something better explained when they are a little older and that honesty and communication are valued so you will try to be as honest as you can be. However, you don't need to go into detail IMO. Often, kids are looking more for your reaction and some reassurance and aren't quite as concerned with the actual "words". They want to know their world isn't being disrupted.
The rest of your post mentioned family members, etc. Again, you would never feel obligated sit around and discuss the details of a vanilla sex life so it isn't necessary to discuss the details of swinging.
You could share that if someone has a private question they would like to ask they can if that's the kind of relationship you have with them. But, you can also add that you will only do so if comfortable.
I might stress or emphasize that you and your partner have an open and honest relationship that you enjoy together. There are a number of factors that go into enhancing that relationship making it so special and that they've stumbled onto one area that you've incorporated/explored. You appreciate that it might not be for everyone and you wouldn't expect everyone to understand but that you sincerely hope they would also be as considerate to not judge the two of you. I might add that while you've tried to be candid when answering their questions, you only ask in return that they respect your privacy and not share what they've learned or discussed with anyone else. Include them into the agreement by explaining that you will extend to them the same discretion they extend to you.
Who knows...one of them may have been curious about exploring the lifestyle and you might just be that one person they feel comfortable asking about it.
At the same time, people can be very judgemental so protect yourselves. However these family members found out...it could happen again if that avenue hasn't been fixed. I'm sorry this got so long-winded and I could write so much more. Whew!!! Good luck with this!
Staying a couple in the lifestyle - - Our experience so far:
Religious > naturist > meet naturists/nudists who are swingers > soft swap > non-religious > full swap with couples same room > full swap separate room
Many lifestyle couples we know have followed a very similar path.
The rest of some of their evolution concerns us, especial polyamorous couples, triples, etc.
The tendency seems to be (very generalized) is to date and play separately. If the relationship becomes polyamorous, divorce seems VERY common.
We like having more than physical chemistry. Personality and interests are part of the package, but it is difficult to get an 8 way connection (chemistry between all 4 people).
We actually like the friendships more than playing, so we are comfortable where we are at the moment.
Thoughts?
Are swingers moral? - Who determines what morals are? - Kitty, they go best with a light honey BBQ sauce :)
Seriously, we live with only one ethical standard: Do not harm others unnecessarily. Simple and to the point.
As to the difference between morals and ethics; I have always believed that morals are those things society pushes on you, be it your church, the law, family, ect, while ethics are those things you take for yourself and make a part of your own beliefs and actions.
Do I view myself as moral? Not really. I have consciously chosen to ignore those things which society has attempted to push on me in favor of what I believe to be right and wrong. I obey laws I don't agree with not because I believe those laws to be moral, or myself to be moral, but because I do not wish the repercussions of breaking those laws. That and I live in serious red-neck country and our prostitutes are just downright scary .
Swingers dying out? - Is the utah swinger community dying or becoming to needy? - We just really do couple to couple time according to schedules, Tiffs parties when we can ;) there's plenty of people to meet, and haven't planned our full moon summer party yet..lol
thinking of starting a local group - - whats in a name? I'm thinking of a name and I don't want something that screams "Swingers are Here." I don't want a name that makes newbies think they "have" to do "something" when they come to our parties.
Intimate Associates
Lifestyle Associates
Shared Intimacies
Fantasy Fun
Fantasy Flirt
PlayTime
Time to Play
Time Foreplay
Pleasure players
playmate playpal
secret intimacies
fantasy eden
discreet intamacies
wild in secret
simple pleasures
sensual secrets
intimate secrets
all sound kinda to me.
New Swingers Club in Utah - Gauging interest in new club - Yes that would be amazing! Pool hot-tub bar dungeon room dance floor stripper pole private and vouyeer rooms are all great for making it fun! Would attend one a month.
Fantasy Fest - - We already said we're going, but one highlight will be a C/O Sunset cruise on Wed the 27th, that based on last year is the most fun, erotic, wildest time at FF. It's being organized by a group from another site that are mostly swingers. Not much money, and only a few hours with all you can drink. I hope some of you heard about it, and are going. You could ask us for more info.
Sure hope to see some from this site, and know your from here. R & K
Now that you're one of them there fancy swingers... - - Banbury Cross?!!? They make those fucking things at like 5 in the morning. They aren't even still warm by the time they open and you eat one. You might as well save yourself the trouble of trying to digest it and just throw it directly in the toilet...like a Hot Pocket.
BDSM & group sex - - [quote=NIKITA]Just been exploring more of my fantasies. Been wanting to find out if anyone has had any luck on here getting their swinger fun with other fun. I like some light bondage, enjoy lots of sex, and lots of toys. But it seems that it's harder to find couples or women to have fantasies with on here. Years ago, it seemed a lot easier to meet and go from there. Maybe it's my age, size, or that I prefer to not host. Everyone has a type, I'm wondering if anyone finds them on here. [/quote]
We have found this site, not surprisingly, quite vanilla. A blindfold and having read 50 shades is pretty damn kinky for Swingular lol. We far more relate to the kinksters on Fetlife. I would look at making a profile there, but it is not a “swingers” site 😉
Another Swingers Show on TV - - We will call
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