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Combining Lifestyle & Non-Lifestyle Friends - - We have both Swinger and non-swinger friends. We have found a few "swinger" friends that we would be "friends" with if we were not in the lifestyle. We have tried to invite these friends to parties that we have SPECIFICALLY specified as "VANILLA". Almost every time we have had our "swinger" friends cross boundaries which makes our "non-swinger" friends (who have non idea about our "lifestyle") go "WTF?!?!?!?!?!?". It has happened numerous times so it's no one in particular. Has ANYONE has success in blending swingers into their vanilla lifestyle? Just askin......
Swinging/Polyamory - I just wanted to hear other people thoughs on this....... - Posted By: XPLORR94248 Reply posted on:
Nov 10, 2007 - 12:11 pm
Poly people generally take issue with swinging as be strictly recreational SEX! and no love where as poly, supposedly, is love based not necessarily any sex....but sex usually is involved at some level. The attitude is that swinging is not a good thing that swinging is diametrically opposed to poly.
So while there are some similarities in swinging and poly in that more and more swingers are looking for relationships, i.e., "friends with benefits" ; "Friends in and out of the bedroom". These friendships are based on attraction and sex after the attraction. Poly people take the concept that poly is based on loving someone and if sex happens then OK, but that love is the key and sex is at best secondary.
I would say that swinging (full swap, soft swap) IS recreational sex. It ISN'T about falling in love with someone. That poly people would think swinging is bad because it is diametrically opposed to poly doesn't surprise me one bit. Kinda like me being a Grand Dragon of the KKK thinking that people who even can think of having a relationship with a black person are sick in the head. To a poly person, the only difference between them and a "normal" person is that they have more than one person with whom they have love in the relationship. "Normal" people also think spouse swapping is a bad idea too. Again, no surprise.
I would say that swinging and poly have only one similarity and that is that they are having sex with somebody that they are not legally married to and the spouse is fine with it. Beyond that, I don't see the similarities.
closed doors? - - It seems as if the doors are closed to a couple with little or no experience.
Why is that?
My wife and I have been posting ads on various swing sites for a while now and haven't been lucky enough to find a nice couple or single female to hook up with.
Is it that swingers don't want to "waste their time" breaking in newbies or what?
We've chatted with a single female who blew us off and a couple of couples who have done the same.
We would just love to find a couple or single female who we can actually hook up with. How are you supposed to "enjoy the lifestyle" when the lifestyle won't enjoy you?
Psychology Research - I need help with a research project. - I would like to thank everyone who did the research survey for me. I hypothesized that non swingers would view us as more capable of deviant behavior like using drugs and alcohol in large amounts. I was correct. I hypothesized that swingers were more likely to use positive methods to handle relationship conflicts and I was also correct. I also hypothesized that swingers would have high openness to new things and high extroversion. We did find that swingers were more open to new experience but there wasn't enough on the other. Something we found interesting was that non swingers used more aggressive methods to solve relationship conflicts and they had high sexual depression. My teacher is talking about possibly working on this to get it published. I am beyond happy that I can show us in a better and more recent light. Thank you all for your help. If you have any question let me know.
Girls that are into DP - How common is this activity among the swingers? - Mmm I love DP! Only had the opportunity a couple times but want to again and again and again... never tried DVP except with my man and a toy but I would LOVE to. Same thing with DA. My man is pretty secure and doesn't care much as long as I'm satisfied :) Man I'm a lucky girl!
Challenging experience and how you deal with it! - - 1st time is never the best, that is why we like 2nd, 3rd, 4th and so times, making friends,(does not have to be buddys, or move in with you) people you can talk to more than about sex... is what really makes the life great...
our continuing story....
rich has a severly broken leg right now... the people that are making life work for us for the most part are swing friends, some are on the site...
we had just contracted on a house befor rich's leg, closed from the hospital, a couple we have known for a while got a truck and moved us in our new home... the wife of a couple (on this site) has been taking rich to his appointents, which until recently were every day, her husband fix and painted one of the rooms in the new place just befor the move in... rich's best friend, a single male (on this site)has been there, and a single female friend has been too... many other couples have come by and done a little even if it was a ride to get lunch or dinner... and rich really appreciates the sympathy blow jobs... ;)
not everyone you play with will make a connection, but trying for that connection is the best part... and for us, right now, if not for the swingers in our lives, we would be lost in trying to works things out.
Now a single male looking for a rebound play - - Yeah, swinging can cause huge pressure on a marriage and totally screw it up. I'm sure that's why most swingers, myself included, would never recommend swinging as a way to "spice-up" a marriage that is having some difficulty. You definitely have to be on the same page as your partner in order to give swinging a go -- and then be pretty damn quick on your feet and adaptable as things get going -- perhaps in a direction that you didn't expect.
I don't get though, why the OP is back here if he's not interested in swinging for the long term or looking for a woman who is interested in it? Seems this OP is more suited for a singles-type site.
And Evil, yes I'd like to see your listing 'cause I'm guessing that at least one of the items involves a douche-canoe going over a large peefall before crashing into a turd log. Or other such silliness, much funnier than what I've just described! ;) Yes ... I know your personality here!
Combining Lifestyle & Non-Lifestyle Friends - - Ah, good topic AC! We're happy to have met many people here that we now consider good close friends that we don't have to hide from when we see them at the mall while we're out with our kids. LoL! It's nice to find those who can be vanilla because our whole life isn't about swinging. So, yes, we have had success in blending swingers into our vanilla lifestyle and we hope to find more:)
Joe & Debbi
WHY????? - - I thought this was a swingers website.
Crickets! - - [quote=Tdaddy106]I’m brand new here and haven’t been able to correspond with anyone yet! Any pointers?![/quote]Don't join a swingers site during a lockdown and join one that is more prevalent in your area. This one is mostly Utah.
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