Olney Swingers in Missouri

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That little nudge many of us need - - [quote=PARTYINLV][quote=EVILDOERS]There are plenty of people on Swingular, ourselves included, who strongly prefer to meet and get to know people a bit (sometimes over weeks or even months) before any kind of 'sexy time' happens. In fact, for us at least, we're happy just to hang out and be friends even if sex NEVER happens. There are also avowed demi-sexuals here who absolutely need some kind of emotional connection (and no, it doesn't necessarily have to be romantic or love or anything beyond friendship) before they can feel sexual attraction to other people. Perhaps your wife is more oriented in that direction. Beyond that, maybe it would be more above-board to just hang out with vanillas and see if you can slowly evolve your friendship towards something more sexual. Just a thought.[/quote] We have friendships with vanilla couples who we think are smoking hot and wish they were in the lifestyle. lol. Perhaps this is a question for another forum thread. But, how does one broach the subject with a vanilla couple who are friends? Does anyone have any success stories of how you converted a vanilla couple friendship to the lifestyle? We would be afraid about outing ourselves or maybe even losing a friendship. [/quote] Personally, we think the best way to broach that subject with vanillas is to just, at some point in the friendship, put it out there that you're swingers and then let the other couple process, digest, and come to terms with that information and do with it what they will. We feel like there are FAR too many swingers who enjoy 'vanilla hunting' and use unfair tactics (alcohol, late nights, etc.), if not outright subterfuge, to try to 'convert' them as, I guess, some kind of power trip. If you let people have the space to come to a rational, informed decision on their own there is, IMO, FAR less chance for drama (or WORSE!) as a sequela.

Puddle Jumpers Campout - - Just over a week to go. Hope to see a bunch of Puddle Jumpers (swingers) there.

Swinging/Polyamory - I just wanted to hear other people thoughs on this....... - That would be a general definition. However, sometimes the devil is in the details. With that definition, poly couples would be termed in the same group as swingers under the banner of libertine. So would soft swingers, etc, etc. We feel the definitions are kinda important because it causes awkwardness and waste of time if we don't know what we are getting into. For instance, if we talk and you are soft swingers, we now know we won't get anywhere fast because we are not into soft swinging. You, OTOH, will not have the awkward moment where we get together and at the last minute, we do something you don't like. IMO the labels help us filter out what we want from what we don't want.

Kylie - ????? - [quote=kylie15851]How come everybody on here seems to be from utah...?[/quote] Because Utah is fuckin' AWESOME and it's a little known fact that thanks to the Mormon church and it's history of polygamy over half the population are swingers. True story! [em]Emo_4[/em]

Age - New to the swingers community - is age a factor in how a couple is viewed? - We havent had much luck with playing. But when we do play we tend to like to stay younger. It doesnt really have to deal with age so much as looks. But what do we know we are only 21 (m) and 20 (f)

Swinger & 🦄 Bait - An experiment to attract swingers and unicorns. - So should I put a pineapple on our porch tonight? Try to turn a mostly vanilla party into something more.

Do your friends and family know about your lifestyle? - - Our 23 year old daughter figured it out, when our son kept telling her we were going to some convention here in town....she looked to see what conventions were in Vegas that week and put two and two together. We also have friends who arent swingers that know. We dont mind telling people but we're selective about who we mention it openly to, just because some people just dont get it.

Single Males - - [quote=EVILDOERS] ...get a girl to join you....Not only do you now "bring more to the table", but you have the added credibility that if you can find and finesse a girl into joining you in this little adventure we call swinging (whether it be a girlfriend, a wife, a second cousin twice removed, or just a hot fwb) you might just not be a giant douchecopter.[/quote] Ignoring the need to "finesse" someone and unhealthy gender stereotypes in general, this line of reasoning is a little troubling as it presumes that a male's company is inherently worth less. Or that an absence of semi-romantic relationships somehow speaks poorly of his character. I personally think approaching someone whom you aren't already fairly close with and soliciting to go to a swingers party is a bit out of line. Especially if her company is sought as an accessory to demonstrate to others that he is not, as you say, “a douchecopter”. Call me old-fashioned. [quote=EVILDOERS] I know we can't be the only people who secretly wonder just a little bit about some single guys and why they aren't with somebody. Do they secretly hate women (yes, we've met some that actually do), are they just too lazy (or busy, maybe...but hey, we're all busy) to find someone, are they serial killers and/or just not very nice guys? [/quote] Oh, I hope you are! That's a really unfortunate outlook to have. Promising relationships take time to find, let alone build to the requisite amount of trust and stability to try things like this. In the mean time, I don't see anything wrong with someone pursuing their interests while still holding out for someone worthy of their emotional investment. To me, that behavior is quite attractive should be respected! It doesn't get any better than someone who is confident, self-actualized, and motivated to pursue their desires. Sadly, it sounds their gender influences whether this is seen as a desirable trait. I'm not sure how long you've been out of things (30 years?), but it's easy to forget the struggle when you're comfortable in a marriage. Things are more fluid. People don't feel the need to settle down like they used to. [quote=EVILDOERS]I know many will say they've tried and swinging is a deal breaker for most women. After almost 3 decades in the swinging trenches meeting and talking to other people, both couples and singles, we would disagree....many, if not most, women could eventually come around to the idea of swinging once they feel safe and secure in a relationship.[/quote] This is just confirmation bias if the evidence comes from a sample of people you have met while swinging. [quote=EVILDOERS]...those of us who DID put in all the blood, sweat, and tears into a relationship and allow it to grow to the point of daring (don't think for a second we aren't risking a LOT in opening up our relationships to other people!) to allow others access to our significant other sometimes wonder why some others want to take a shortcut to all the sweet swinging bennies with little or no risk on their own part.[/quote] If you're not comfortable sharing your wife with someone you might view as a potential competition, you definitely don't have to. On the other hand, there are a lot of people enjoy it :) This smacks of the old “you must suffer as I did” chestnut.

swinger ? or not. - - We became a swingers by accident when we knocked 2 doors shy of some Amway party. This shit's better than LOC

Where are the Midwest Swingers? - - Seriously. I'm a recent college grad, and my guy is still in school, so we can't go traipsing off around the country to meet people. Where are the swingers from Ohio, Indiana, western PA, south Michigan, etc? No offense to the people on our friends list, but I'm tired of getting all excited to see that we have a new message only to find it's a friend request from someone in freaking Utah. I mean, seriously. Literally everyone I know who graduated from college in 2009 is working a dead end job somewhere. None of us has a career, so even if we were willing to spend the money to travel cross-country for casual sex, we don't have it to spend. I've visited some other swinging sites, and on many of them, there were lots of ....well, profiles, at least, from Ohio. We've met several couples from one of the sites, even though we haven't swung with them. WTF?