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Condoms - To use or not to use? -

TJ69NAZ,

I think this is another preference thing. It is obvious why a fertile couple would want to use latex condoms. However, since condoms do not prevent disease, they only reduce ones chances of contracting certain diseases, I can see why we don't all use them. Not being in a long term monogamous relationship or abstaining from sex, puts you at risk of catching STD's. Since we are all, as swingers, willing to roll the dice to fulfill our fantasies and derive our pleasures, it's safe to say that some of us are willing to "up the stakes". We, TR, prefer using them, but feel that our odds are still pretty good of contracting certain diseases, namely HPV, even if we do use them. What amazes us is the amount of people that still put 100% faith in condoms. We'll continue taking everything with a large grain of salt. Especially any information coming from the medical world. Afterall the CDC, FDA and Big Pharm have all been so forthcoming, upfront and honest with us. I never fully trust anyone that has financial interest. The bottom line is that, as swingers, we are all adding to the spread of disease by sharing multiple partners. Those that refrain from condom usage are just choosing a better sensation and orgasm over their safety.
-Don-

At what point do you out yourselves to family and friends?? - - More people know than you think. We have two small kiddos and so mums the word around them, but as for adults well we don't tell anyone except the vibe we throw off to the univeres is contantly comeing back. Hell we don't even know we are throwing it, but We surely are even other swingers in Wal Mart, Gas stations anywhere and more and more we notice them too and then confirm it with them. They might as well be wearing a T-Shirt that say "I'm A Swinger" LOL So the answer lyes in you your vibe is the answer to your ? Great ? kisses Jeaaica and Tre

Required info for swingers - - Very educational for sure lmao

YOLO Cruise April 26 2009 - swingers cruise - We are a Jax couple....we already added you on our friends list but we would love to chat with others from the Jax area! Pete and Ashley

Swingers Party - Doesnt mean who ever is there is open to everyone elsa - When we fell off of our bicycle we threw it away and got a Harley.. Oh come on smile

Sexy swingers closer to our age - 20-30 year old sexy swingers - How r u two doing

swingin - thought this site was a swingers site - I was addressing the original poster, and ONLY the original poster. I was doing what the forum was intended to do, and that was answering the question of the original poster. Waaaa has a genuine, valid question, and I addressed it directly. TR- you seem to think that this is about you. Sorry to inform you, it isn't. But somehow I'm not surprised that you want to make it so. I guess the forum system here is just broken.

KSL swing story - - The story was terribley produced. Little to no research. As I said in the thread leading up to KSL being at the Club 90 party, they decided what story they were going to write before they even put pen to paper, and they were not going to let the truth get in the way of their story. I particularily liked the way it played women to be victims in the Lifestyle, especially when everyone knows it is women that really run the show and have the biggest say-so in who a couple plays with. Also, in surveys of swingers when asked "Who's idea was it to start swinging?" 34% of the time it was the wife that first brought it up. Sure, men still accounted for 54% of the survey (the rest couldn't remember who's idea it was originally), but it's not the men wanting sex with other women and drawing their poor defenseless wife into the lurid underground world of wife swapping to do it. Hell, anyone who's been around it for a while knows it's more "husband swapping" anyway. :p I've been following the comments on KSL's website, and these people have no life. They wait to watch the news every night and then add their two cents to every subject. None of them have any idea what they are talking about. As Ozzie Guillen says about arm chair coaches and sportscasters "the farther you sit from the plate the smarter you think you are." LMAO But all the comments are along the same lines, the evil cheating husband luring his innocent, unsuspecting wife into the seedy underworld. Then you get the fake profile they put up and within "six days, 70 married men, most from Utah, ask to start a fling." LMAO Damn, how many couples get emails every day from "free member" married men looking to cheat? We get at least one a day. The same old story over and over: Married Mormon family man who says "I love my wife but she doesn't like sex". These people need to look within themselves. We're not the problem, they are. Plus, most of us won't play with cheaters and after a time we've become very adept at sniffing them out. My wife gets at least one married Mormon man a day sending her an IM on her personal Yahoo! Messenger ID, and they find her in the Yahoo! directory (not Yahoo! Personals, the directory). They just go through looking for women online to contact. They don't know she is a swinger. Her Yahoo! profile is innocent as can be. If they are going to cheat they will find a way, with or without swingers. Wow... I'd love to say this on KSL's site, but like fun4usxx said, it will just add fuel to the fire and you can't win. You can't fix stupid. Mr. Caress4u

Christain Swingers? - - We got up and looked back at this thread today and we have to say we agree that this is a great group of people here. Man, with everyone expressing thier thoughts on this (Including our minority opinion) and not having a flame war or having things get personal is a very cool thing. We are impressed !! We still will not touch the politics though! Art and Dawn:D

What about the lifestyle didn't meet your expectations? - Preconceptions and disappointment. - I'm home bored, so stop here if you don't want to read a bunch of shite. lol. I think we both entered the lifestyle with some preconceived notions of what the people in the LS would be like, but that was mostly from our limited experience with being vanilla and having LS peeps try to hit on us. It just seemed creepy, desperate and gross at the time. We assumed most of the players would be super aggressive, ready to fuck anyone and have zero interest in relationships outside of sex. Our initial entry was simply to watch and be watched. We quickly learned that there are just as many wonderful people in the LS as out of it. Maybe more. There will always be the outliers, the few percentage on each end of the spectrum that are more extreme, but that happens in any population. Overall, it was a happy surprise. So that would be a negative expectation that wasn't met. As far as things we were hoping would happen or expectation that weren't met, we have very few. But we also went into the labyrinth without really expecting or assuming anything. I don't think we were naive enough to think that this segment of the population was somehow immune from the social characteristics that reveal themselves in any other social class or group. You will always have the "cool kids" the "shy people" the "jocks" the "geeks" the people who classify themselves as the "pity party" and blame the world for their problems. Those things will exist anywhere and should. Swingers are a diverse group of people with a few, maybe very few, common goals. Those goals I think are to meet others with social deviancy and those interested in expanding their sexual experiences or simply to meet new friends. Swinging, in itself, doesn't solidify your beliefs in anything else (politics, food preferences, choice of travel location, or even how or what you are looking for as swingers). I think that is where expectations can fail. If a person goes into a situation thinking, "I/we think "x" so everyone else must think "x" as well", they are bound to be disappointed. I've said this a lot of times, the lifestyle is not black and white. Life isn't black and white. There will be frustrations around every turn if you allow yourself to be duped into thinking your way of thinking is more than just your viewpoint, that it is universal to everyone. I see people complaining of flakes, people who meet once then run away, etc. That's how they roll. That's their truth. It's what they are comfortable with or wanting and who am I to judge. That being said, I don't have to associate with them and hopefully learn how to avoid that situation or become more efficient at finding people with similar interests. The lifestyle is work. Sometimes a lot of work. I think it's foolish to think that it should be easy to find 4 people who all jive. Think about how many people you have dated before settling on the right one for you. And to assume that somehow changes in the lifestyle and that after chatting on kik for a few weeks then meeting over drinks will somehow magically connect you. Ugh. Sometimes it happens. Sometimes not. But I wouldn't expect it. For others, the thought of any connection past the one-nighter is absurd. Why would you want to make friends with your fuck-buddies? It may be too risky and cause too many emotions. Point is, we are all different and that is what makes the journey so beautiful. And, just a note about flakes, since it is a recurrent theme. Yes, maybe there are more flakes in the lifestyle, but I'm guessing it's specifically related to the nature of the LS. Swinging for some can be very intimidating and frightening. Sometimes the chase is much more fun than the fucking. Not excusing them that do flake, it seems a problem for sure, but I think I understand, at least in part, why it happens so much. There is so much social pressure not to be in the lifestyle and most were brought up without it being the normal way to live. So society is telling us we are wrong, gross, deviant, etc. Add to that the fear of actually getting naked and fucking someone else and it can cause a lot of anxiety in some. When we first started we were petrified to even go the parties thinking it was going to be a fuck/rape fest. lol. Turned out we were wrong but it was a learning process. Lastly, if you are already treading carefully and the couple/person you are supposed to be meeting gives off any bad vibes, maybe flaking is best. It's hard not to hurt someone's feelings and honesty isn't always what happens. I know we have been honest with couples and it turned into a shit-show. Why don't you like us? If you only meet us and give us a chance we can prove we are wonderful. Other's like us, why don't you. It's hard to be honest at times about why there isn't a connection. May flaking be a way to spare feelings? I don't know. There are probably a plethora (Hefe, do you know what a plethora is?)of reasons people flake and some of those my be that they are just douches. But likely there are other people that aren't and are just trying to get out of a situation they are unfamiliar with. Avoid the douches but maybe give those others a second chance. Evil: always good topics you bring to the table. So you think because people like sex they should be good at it? I know a lot of people who love food but suck at cooking. haha. Maybe having too many options on the table can also make people lazy. I don't have to try hard if I know tomorrow is another partner. To some it's the quantity and not the quality. But I can see why the expectation would be there. All in all we really have no complaints. It's been a fascination journey. Some ups, some downs, but always and adventure. We will keep our expectations low, both of ourselves and those around us. Less disappointment that way. I'm going back to sitting in my underwear, drinking a beer and watching TV. Zero expectations. haha. :) Mr. SRO