Couch Swingers in Missouri

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Random funny shit. - A place to post anything you think others might find amusing. - [quote=EVILDOERS]Yeah, I know, but there are a lot of noobs here who NEED to see that video so they'll learn how to become swingers the RIGHT way! "At swinger's parties it's a must to smoothly glide with every thrust. Use the lube that swingers trust and reach for Uncle Fromin's." The ONLY sex lube designed for three or more people![/quote]Where do you get the time and find all of these?

Hot discussion - Hook up section? - Yup. It's actually gotten so bad that Ms. Evil and I have, for the first time in our long swinging career, blocked single males. We naively thought that maybe the number of single guys would start going down a little since we've heard so much about so-called "hook-up culture" and how it's supposedly relatively easy to jump on Tinder or Kik or to hit a bar or club and pick someone up for NSA sex. So can we assume that it's simply an urban legend? Either that or the single dudes here aren't having any success IRL for some reason? And I apologize, JEFFSMITH1972, for all the terrible things married people have done to you and your "hotty" friend. Thoughts and prayers! [em]Emo_82[/em] Though I kinda have to wonder why you would hang out on a swingsite if you don't like married swingers. If the married swingers left Swingular would it still be a swingsite? [em]Emo_67[/em]

Friend collectors or swingers - - We’ve found lots of different personalities and histories with the Las scene here in Utah. Some couples love the titillation and thrill of window shopping, while others couples may be a little unbalanced (with one partner way more into it than the other). But we have made some great friends and had some once in a lifetime experiences, which make this journey exciting and so worth it!

BUTTS - - [img]http://farm1.static.flickr.com/104/288533110_6c505e47fc_o.jpg[/img] [img]http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3310/3475608233_c4d69df872_o.gif[/img][img]http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3366/3476417608_1cf2d88742_o.gif[/img][img]http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3407/3476417460_aa56a1c3f5_o.gif[/img][img]http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3306/3476417196_3ba5c98160_o.gif[/img][img]http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3350/3476417482_9ddeb50969_o.gif[/img][img]http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3389/3475607725_6092ba91d1_o.gif[/img][img]http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3628/3476417274_691d332063_o.gif[/img][img]http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3417/3475608277_a77e428bc7_o.gif[/img][img]http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3312/3475607959_3e7ebab4d2_o.gif[/img][img]http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3562/3475607833_05a93814a4_o.gif[/img][img]http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3339/3476417314_3be65fe4be_o.gif[/img] [url=http://www.cafepress.com/SC24FUN]CHECK OUT SWINGERS SYMBOL TSHIRTS AND STUFF[/url]

Big Birthday Bash 12/17 - In Tampa @ Night Moves II - Come and celebrate Kim & Rick\'s Birthday Celebration at Night Moves II on Saturday, December 17th. If you are already a member of the CALIENTE AND PARADISE SWINGERS Group http://groups.yahoo.com/group/calienteandparadiseswingersII/ , go to their message board for a great deal being offered by Night Moves II. Please note that you must RSVP at http://nightmovesii.com in order to get the special rate. Kim\'s birthday is the 17th and Rick\'s is the 22nd so come out to hang out with all of your friends, both old and new. Rick PS: We also starting a fun yahoo group if you would like to join http://groups.yahoo.com/group/orkos/ :z

Swingers unnerve families at hotel - - HeHeHe! TAMMYNWALT....too funny about the Swingers Pride Day idea. We\'ll help carry the flag! Sounds almost like our post on another site. Nobody cares anymore about WDW Gay Days but some questionable naughty (not law breaking or nekid) Swingers at a party and the whole world goes apesh*t. For heaven sakes keep those vanillas off of the beach they might see a thong or boobs! LOL! Geez! If they had broken any laws there would have been all kind of media chatter about the arrests.....hummmmm..... To each their own. We weren\'t at any NYE parties due to working taking care of idiots shooting each other and drunks. The shame of it all ( ; Happy New Year! :D

Mormons - - Ahh...gotcha! I have a personal "testimony" of the fact that there ARE indeed MORE than 50 real swingers in Utah! I've had a personal witness of this and my bosom burns, and I know this to be true with every fiber of my being...:) (Utah mormon-based humor there) ~J~

Finding sexy friends in Vegas - - Vegas fun spots for lifestyle: Swinger Clubs -
On-Premise: these are the lifestyle clubs in Vegas... 
Sea Mountain 'One Love Temple'. Opened in June 2017 as Las Vegas first and only lifestyle resort! They have awesome night parties, including a club where you can dance. No clothes needed here, couples & single girls only. About 10 mins from the Strip, an easy uber. Absolutely fantastic. 
Las Vegas Playroom (in what was the Couples Oasis house) is, as of July 2016, remodeling the venue and just started hosting parties. We like what they are doing, as they've already made a number of upgrades. They are trying to target a younger demographic and have quite a bit of work to get the vibe right (music, paint, furnishings, etc) but they are motivated and driven to make that happen. Fingers crossed, we're rooting for them! 
The Green Door. We have never been there but our friends say it would be there next pick, as they love the playrooms and it's very close to the Strip (just off Sahara). However be forwarned that solo (we won't say "single") guys are heavily marketed to so there will always be hordes of non-lifestyle-protocol-aware guys in the hallways, in the bar (no alcohol allowed due to city ordinances), and leering outside of the couples areas. If you’re a girl and into a lot of guys or just loves being an exhibitionist and knowing she's turning guys on who watch then she'll have a blast here; but if she's not then it can be awful for her. It's clean, just off the Strip and the parking lot is very safe. The crowd here starts late, usually after midnight. 
The Red Rooster is one of the oldest and most famous clubs in the world and used to be packed every weekend (we hear it's losing steam a bit). They also allow in solo guys, so keep that in mind. The crowd tends to be older, and they (refreshingly) make no apologies for who they are (not the place for the young-n-hot-pretty-crowd, definitely a good place for the majority who aren't that). And it's a LONG way from the Strip, so either rent a car or prepare for an expensive taxi/uber ride. They have an indoor pool, and a FANTASTIC food buffet that the owner cooks personally (they have a catering license, and it rocks). This place packs early, by 10:00pm there's a big crowd that tends to be older as there are lots of locals who have been loyal members for 20 years or more. And, of course, plenty of places to play.
There's also the Fantasy Swingers Club, and it's right next to the Green Door, a bit smaller and a lot quieter, often with only a few people there, but has a sexy vibe with fewer solo guys.

Other: There are LOTS of impromptu and other parties that pop up from time to time in Vegas, so keep an eye on the various lifestyle sites. Off-Premise Party -
Swingers Circle hosts a couples-only on-premise party on Thursdays. They book a hotel suite on or near the Strip, start early (you aren't allowed to arrive late), and it's all about playing. Since they promote on a number of sites and don't display their guestlist, it can be hit-or-miss as to whether you'll fit in or not, but from our friends experience it's absolutely worth the risk. They play a game that quickly gets everyone naked, and if you aren't feeling the vibe with the night’s group...there are no hard feelings for sneaking out (nobody will even notice). So it's worth the price of admission to see, and there's a good chance you'll have a blast. 
PurrfectLV at Caesar's Fizz Lounge is a weekly swingers meet & greet in the lounge. Very sexy vibe in a small, intimate venue, but not on premise so if you connect with some sexies then you'll need to head off on your own. It can be hit-or-miss, sometimes there's a big crowd, sometimes not, sometimes it's hot, sometimes it's not. Plus note that although they do allow solo guys, don't let that deter you as they are very chill and understand protocol. It's usually worth hitting even if just to see who's in town and then hooking up and heading out from there.

Nude Pools - Sea Mountain 'One Love Temple' Las Vegas - opened in late June 2017, Las Vegas finally has a 100% clothing optional , on-premise resort! It's a beautiful property located about 5 min's from the Strip and an easy Uber. Dewey and his wife (owners) are great hosts, and provide a sanctuary for couples and single girls (sorry guys, you'll need to find a date to go here) where you can be surrounded by like-minded friends and away from the hordes of vanilla's at the topless & club pools at the resorts. It isn't free and most think of it as pretty speedy. The last time we were there, we paid $200 per couple for the day & night. That’s after paying a $40 membership fee. The alcohol is free and so is lunch and all the snacks they provide throughout the day....but the cost per couple is less than a pair of lounge chairs at Bare or Moorea. Topless Swimming Pools - 
Leave Rehab, Wet Republic, Tao and other popular non-toptional (girls gotta keep their tops on) pools to the hordes of young vanillas paying $100/pp entry, getting drunk on $20 cocktails and having their ears blasted by music so loud it's impossible to have a conversation (but hey, they're vanillas, so they aren't talking to each other anyway). * Evolve, Swinging Saturdays at the Artisan pool (hosted until Labor Day, then re-opens in May) is THE only couples-only topless pool party in Vegas! Great (house) music, hot people, and you can get away with pretty much anything. They even have a play suite for everyone upstairs. And what about single guys who have a room at the hotel? They put 'em on a bus to the MGM and comp them into vanilla-land at Wet Republic, anything but allowing them into the Artisan Evolve party. 
Our other fav's are these 3 "toptional" pools: 
Bare Pool at Mirage (usually a hot crowd and we've randomly met other Lifestyle couples many times, always fun there)
Moorea at Mandalay (book a daybed) is gaining a bit more traction lately with lifestyle friendly folks. Not as hip as Bare, but a pretty good pool scene. Like most 'nilla topless pools, all the girls will be wearing their tops until one or two girls go topless, so the swinger's usually get things started and it's always funny to then watch tops start coming off around the pool.
Venus Pool at Caesar's(not free, but still fun and very swinger friendly), and
Artisan Hotel Pool (extremely swinger friendly, usually other lifestyle members are found lounging poolside). Massages -
Want some stress relief...plus? Well Chinatown is great if you're a guy, but they seem to be at a loss as to what to do when a girl shows up (either alone or as part of a couple). And of course there are tons of escort services in town, which are expensive and, well, you won't get the massage. Clubs -
The clubs most people are going to at the moment are the Drai's rooftop at the Cromwell, Marquee at Cosmo, XS at Wynn/Encore and Hakaasan at MGM (those are currently also the top 4 clubs in the world, as rated by numerous magazines). The after-hours club people hit is Drai's (opens at 4:00am) in the basement at the Commonwealth. 
NOTE, all clubs...and we do mean all...make their money selling "bottle service". There are, absolutely, literally, no places to sit in a club unless you pay for the table, we aren't kidding, really, which will run you anywhere from $600 and up (way up) depending upon the day and the location of the table in the club. Lounges -
Lounges are our personal preference, as we can meet up with people, have a conversation, and head to a hotel suite or houseparty. The sexiest lounges we like are:
For hanging out - Rose.Rabbit.Lie at Cosmo, Parasol Down (outside patio lakeside at the Wynn...our absolute favorite in town),and Chandalier Bar at the Cosmo (worth the trip, trust us).
For vanilla hunting - Vesper Bar and Chandalier Bar (both at the Cosmo), Lavo (at Palazzo), or pretty much any bar in Vegas where 'nilla's are looking to let go and embrace the "what happens" ethos. Shows -
There are so many great shows here! We will ignore the great vanilla shows (Jersey Boys, Mystere, etc) and just give our thoughts on the more risque performances...
1. Zumanity - the Mrs says, for the girls to remember to bring an extra pair of panties, as you'll get wet!
2. Absinthe - this show at Caesars has you starting in the beer garden and ending up in a smallish circus tent. The seating is close and upfront to the performers. The show includes bawdy, profane and damn funny skits with a lot of acrobatic sensual stuff. The irreverent anti-Cirque and the mister’s...hands-down favorite. 
3.. Fantasy - a standard from the Luxor that's been playing for a long time and is actually fantastic. The girls are good looking, the dancing and acts are great and the comedian makes it all worth while. Strip Clubs -
The little known truth about Las Vegas strip clubs is...well...they pretty much suck. You'd expect them to be wild and no-holds-barred a la New Orleans or Florida, but that sadly isn't the case as the "no touching" rule is strictly enforced at the more popular clubs (some of the less popular clubs, though, do let you get away with literally anything, including paid-sex in the back rooms, or so we've heard...but you didn't hear that from us). Some highlites (all are just our opinions, of course)...
1. Spearmint Rhino - the best club in town. Not because it's the best venue; it's okay, but it isn't Hustler or even Treasures in terms of design quality. But THIS is where the hottest girls from all over the world fly in to work. End of discussion as far as we're concerned. And yes, if/when you fall in love you'll learn that most of the girls "date", but don't take it too hard when you learn that the translation of that is "escort" and they aren't really in love with you...hey, girls gotta make a living.
2. Sapphire - billed as the largest strip club in the world. Maybe it is, and they do pack in the crowds, but honestly the girls tend to be on the heavier side and just aren't that hot.
3. Palomino - in North Las Vegas, the original, and still the only club that is 100% nude AND serves alcohol. This is one of the places where we've heard you can pretty much get away with anything you're willing to tip for.
4. Hustler - beautiful and amazing in design. Best to go when there is a party or special event, as that's when the hotter girls show up to work.
5. Others - there are sooooooo many strip clubs in Vegas, so check out other review sites for more info. Some are fun for very specific reasons, such Treasures and it's fantastic steak house. Just be forewarned, most of these small clubs will have few girls dancing (and usually not very attractive ones at that...not what you'd expect in Vegas).
FOR THE GIRLS (and bi-guys) - Male strippers! There's only one place to go - "OG", Olympic Gardens. The hot guys here can get away with a LOT more than their female counterparts in the other room, so private/VIP dances can get very frisky!
LOCAL'S TIP - READ THIS BEFORE GOING!!! In Vegas the strip clubs are required to "tip" the taxi or limo when they drop you off at the club; anywhere from $40 to $100 per person (yes, you read that right, per "person", not per "vehicle"). So DO NOT grab a cab, nor accept the "free" ride from the limo the doorman at your hotel is more than eager to get for you. Instead, call the strip club and they will send a free limo to pick you up AND you'll get free entry (they'll bend over backwards to avoid paying the taxi/limo fees).You'll still need to grab a taxi back to your hotel afterwards, but that's fine as the club doesn't have to pay for that. Hope this info helps...have fun in Sin City!

Is the coronavirus harshing your swinging buzz? - Swinging while wearing surgical masks! - [quote=Utahldscouple][quote=EVILDOERS]We've decided that the BEST way to keep the coronavirus at bay is to strictly follow the new rules of social distancing. Unfortunately, there are enough horny swingers running around that it's really hard. But our new patented procedure of not bathing or using deodorant and eating a diet high in onions and garlic (and never brushing our teeth) is proving VERY effective in reminding other people how important social distancing is. Send nudes and we'll send you a copy of this revolutionary system! [img]https://media1.giphy.com/media/3o7TKvxnDibVYwawHC/giphy.gif[/img][/quote] Do you know if the virus transfers from nipple sucking or oral? Asking for a friend.[/quote] This is the ONLY corona-pocalypse approved suckage! [img]https://shop.penisplugsablaze.com/media/PHHD7294.gif[/img]

Facebook for Swing Friends? - - I have close swing friends on mine. But then gain I'm actually friends with my close swing friends, of that makes any sense. Most everyone we know knows about is being swingers anyway. Although I don't post anything on there like "hey I had sex with so-and-so today" on it.