Reading Swingers in Minnesota

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"single" MEN - - they are called cheaters no't swingers

Another Swingers Show on TV - - [quote=PARTNERZNCRIME]did anyone catch this show?....we thought it was a decent representation of some of the issues that arise in the lifestyle.However,we did think it was humorous at times as a few of the couples seemed to be concerned with privacy in not letting family and friends know they are swingers (we dont either) but they are on TV in a swinger show..lol..it will be interesting to see how they progress in upcoming episodes.[/quote] We'd DVR'd it. Pretty interesting. Of course you can bet there was some editing for shock value on some issues. Not sure how many episodes, but we'll definitely be recording them all.

Rules - - This is not merely an issue on Swingular, but is a mind-set that we have encountered on every site we have belonged to, in every geographical area, and at many parties. Seemingly the single ladies get the accolades, while their counterparts, the dreaded single males, get the proverbial foot in the ass. Is it fair? We don't think so. However, it is what it is, and not likely to change soon. I'm sure that everyone has an opinion as to why this occurs (opinion/assholes being synonymous; everyone has one). Here are a few of our thoughts.... Perhaps one could say that this disparity is due to the fact that most couples are searching for females...either single or part of a couple? This is only PARTIALLY true as there are many swingers that are not looking for singles of either gender. Many couples are, in fact, only looking only for other couples to share friendship and intimacy. Perhaps the old adage "Men are a dime a dozen", comes into play? Well...one has to admit that yes...us guys really are rather numerous. Regardless of being within the Lifestyle or out....you can always find a guy, willing to hump your wife. Go to any vanilla event to find that out. Many might say that all single guys are pushy ass-wads, that lack the intelligence, class, or sophistication to show respect and patience towards a couple that's willing to share intimacy with them. Again, not totally true. We have met many polite, kind and respectful single men. We have also had numerous run-ins with females...both single and married, that have been just as crass, obnoxious and presumptuous as the most obnoxious single guy anyone could imagine. We like to call them the Bi-Nazi's: you know...the "it's-all-about-the-women" types. This brings me to yet another mentionable. There is also an unspoken "assumption", that just because any individual of the female persuasion is involved in swinging...she's automatically "bi-curious", "bi-sexual", or "just doesn't know that she wants to be yet". The obvious outcome of this mind-set is that unwanted advances, groping and attention comes towards the females/couples that are not looking for this type of interaction. Ironically, the same advances made by a male, married or single...would be dealt with severely in most cases. However...with the ladies...many consider it "appropriate", if not expected. Do you see the double-standard? Somewhat hypocritical I would say. Many get so caught up in stereotyping, and outcomes having to look a certain way, they are quick to assign social roles to various members of our Lifestyle. In the process, they forget objectiveness, compassion, and open-mindedness. Isn't that what we, as swingers pride ourselves on, "open-mindedness", and being "out of the box"? Ok..since sweeping swinger social changes (wow, say that fast three times...haha), are not likely to happen...Siren and I elect to manage what we know we can, and that's ourselves. We never expect anyone or anything to be anything but themselves, and let their actions and behaviors be the ultimate factor as to how we interact with them, regardless of marital status, gender, or seeking preferences. J

We have heard about it many times........... - Couples that are swingers - sorry for your bad experience crunk hope you have better luck, I wonder how many people really believe that it is ok to treat people like this?

You know you are in the Lifestyle when.... - - haha. Good shit. If you haven't watched it, look up "Shit Swingers Say" on YouTube. Funny stuff.

We're Back!!! - Hi there! - Makes me wonder how many viable, sincere hits you two get with such a specific search criteria. You don’t consider yourselves “swingers”, but you’re on a swinger site looking for an exclusive relationship… from my own personal experience and from what I’ve seen with others, this type of relationship with another couple burns short but bright. I always caution couples we know when they come across other couples that change their minds from a sexy fun friendship to trying to back them into a serious “exclusive” relationship… excluding all other friends they’ve made in this LS along the way. It can be a drama filled and painful road. I’m sure of the 6 couples you’ve dated over the years you can attest to that if you’re being 💯 honest to yourselves. This type of relationship should be (imo) found organically and mutually if that’s what it ends up being… Saying you want to be exclusive with a potential swinger couple from the start, while upfront and honest, can sound forced and rigid. Some of the stories of possessiveness between couples just sound absurd to us given the LS they’ve chosen. In any case, good luck with your search.

KUTV News Story on Swingers - News - "Dark side of the lifestyle?" Just in time for Star Wars. I see your schwartz is as big as mine.

Staying a couple in the lifestyle - - [quote=Sofutosuwappu]Our experience so far: Religious > naturist > meet naturists/nudists who are swingers > soft swap > non-religious > full swap with couples same room > full swap separate room Thoughts?[/quote] Wow - what a great thread Sofutosuwappu! I just read some of these responses today. We're actually shocked! Evil - 60 couples . . . WOW! This has not been our experience at all. While we are relatively new in the LS (since 2015) and we definitely have less LS play experience than most who have commented - our experience has been very different from that described . . . both in terms of our own evolution, but also in terms of what we have personally witnessed with friends. ALL of the couples we have met in the LS are still together and in loving long-term relationships (as far as we know). Part of that may be dumb luck . . . part of it may be in the 'rules' we set for ourselves. We don't play separately . . . part of the fun is seeing your partner receive joy, pleasure, and excitement! We also specifically seek out people in Long Term relationships . . . and we have stayed away from profiles that intimated a DTF (down to fuck) kind of mind set. Not that there is anything wrong with that - we don't judge . . . just not something we have been interested in. We are attracted to beautiful relationships. As for our own evolution . . we are STILL very religious, we jumped into the LS first . . . and THEN became nudists 🤣 We have made only a slight adjustment to our play style from our first adventure, and we have no interest in becoming 'non-religious' - we have found the LS to be a continuation or advancement of our understanding of the Judeo-Christian commandment to 'Love One Another'. Maybe we just haven't been in long enough . . . maybe we are self-deluded and are secretly living a life of cognitive dissonance . . . but so far so good. One HUGE change is that when we first started in the LS . . . we thought we would want to be completely anonymous . . . going so far as to create 'fake names' etc. (I know . . . but we were still virgins . . . we feel SOME guilt about that . . . but we have subsequently repented!😉) We thought that the less people knew about us . . . the better. That changed 180 degrees within the first 6 months of our stumbling into this LS. Now . . . we only seek friends . . . who can be genuine friends . . . and if that progresses to any type of sexual exploration . . . all the better . . . but the friendship rules. I'm sure we still have a lot to figure out in this regard - but we cherish our new and longer-term friendships . . . and honestly can't wait to spend time with these people. We are missing the summer live concert venues . . . and we can't wait till the next time we meet with friends. If that makes us 'poly-amorous' . . . then consider us 'guilty as charged' - We have somehow managed to maintain significant and deep friendships with just about everyone we've played with. We don't see that changing. Hope that helps - thought it might as far as providing an alternate perspective. We love the authenticity and honesty shown to us by friends in the LS - we honestly have a hard time now maintaining vanilla relationships . . . whats the point??🤷‍♂️ Thank you all for the riveting discussion!

Here's something Ive been curious about - - I don't think they are swingers, they are just single people that like to play with swingers, and for sure there is something in the lifestyle that they like besides the sex.

Christain Swingers? - - My religion is GOD, and I don't believe that GOD cares if you swing. He/she just experiences it and evolves. Can you imagine we are all small individuations of the One Spirit that is everything; experiencing life in the physical realm? Whew!