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The Lifestyle And You - Another Hilarious Video - [quote=JUST_RACH]lol I think I've stumbled across the greatest play list on youtube [/quote] Most of these are from Couples Cruise (the company who does most of the Swingers Cruises). We were on one last November and this stuff was on the TV 24x7.... Another reason we will never go on another vanilla cruise.. ever. =)

Singles who are married and cheating - - better get a cup of coffee cuz this is gonna be a long read: there are a few things you have to take into consideration when you decide to be in the swinging lifestyle. i think the biggest thing is finding out if your spouse is into it. most people, i think, go into a relationship knowing what their spouses boundries are. and then there are couples who evolve in their relationship and the more trust they have in their relationship, i would think it would be like a "coming out" of sorts. like..."hey, um...honey...the johnsons next door are having a party this weekend...and we were invited" "Really?" "Yeah, and i hear its one of THOSE kinda parties" "well, honey..we better wear our crotchless underwear" i dunno..something like that..like, at some point you decide that swinging is for you, right? or you go into a relationship knowing that swinging is an option. buuuuuuuuuuuutttttt... if you go into a relationship knowing that swinging is definetly not what your spouse is into or in the evolution of your relationship you decide swinging is right for you, and your spouse isnt into it, and under no circumstance is it ok....then, in my humble opinion, you arent in the lifestyle. now, if you come to some sort of open relationship agreement if your spouse isnt into it but agrees to let you get some strange, fine. if you take it upon yourself to sign up for a swinging website behind your spouses back, hook up with couples behind your spouses back, then YOU ARE CHEATING! if you are cheating, then you are just asking for trouble: 1. you are being dishonest 2. you are bringing your drama into someone elses life whether they know it or not. what happens if the wife finds out and shows up at your house party with a shotgun? 3. what happens if you get an s.t.d.? you bring that home with you to your spouse, and if you have them, your children. even if you use condoms you can still get s.t.d.'s, its happened. 4. when your spouse does find out, and they will...you are humiliating them in front of their friends, family, job...cuz somehow they all find out. that leads me to believe you have no regard for someone elses feelings so why would i want to swing with you? 5. you are giving other single people, male or female, a bad name and reputation. 6. you are giving swingers in general a bad name and reputation. jenn and i are honest with each other. we are not in a place where we are gonna swing separate, we communicate and talk things out so we have a full understand of where eachother is at, at any given moment. if jenn or i didnt want to swing anymore, or if we wanted a break from it, we talk about it. we arent perfect by any means, but we do our best to consider eachothers feelings in this lifestyle. we dont invite drama into our lives so i would have to say...no, we dont swing with someone who is cheating on their spouse. we would both suggest that if you feel the need to cheat that you should either talk it out with your spouse and seek external help or if you dont think that will help, you should consider ending the relationship. this is all just our opinion. we know its easier written or said than done. but if you arent happy with your spouse, why would you drag them down with this? communicate..compromise...talk it out..but dont be a cheater, cuz its not cool. brandon

Parties - Venting - I think part of the problem is that the games ppl play ALWAYS have prizes and the prizes are getting bigger and bigger and they want to make sure EVERYONE that plays gets one. Of course they don't want anyone to feel left out sooo... Buy a bag of popscicles and say yeah everyone get creative with the person on your left (for instance) popscicles are cheap and if you make everyone in the game shuffle before you start the game then hell... You just met new people and sucked on something together, lol. Just trying to say get creative with inexpensive things... Decorations, prizes, games... NONE OF US ARE SWINGERS BECAUSE WE LIKE TO FIT IN WITH NORMAL PEOPLE RIGHT? This Saturday should be a great party. Idk cause we've never been but, Tif and Doug aren't buying everything for everybody. Bring your own meat (hell John and I each like different meat anyways) and everyone bring a side for Potluck kind of thing. Anyone who can bring a gift to give as many prizes out as they have gifts that are donated. Don't get me wrong I'm sure this party isn't FREE for them to throw but, the more people throw in the things that they just have generally laying around with them it's sure as hell got to cut the price of throwing the party back for them. It's not like all the prizes are all going to be cheap or anything either. (Idk what all the prizes are but just John and I are donating some AVON gift baskets $20-$150 values but, I sale it, it's discounted for me and I LOVE wrapping them so hell I'm giving something away so I can keep my stock current and Never let my product go bad, that's something that anyone who sales anything should be doing and, hell it's getting close to the end of the year so I get to give something away it makes people happy and I a few months its all a tax write off for me! How can you go wrong?). I can't think of ANYTHING wrong with it and my husband and I get to watch and participate in a wet t-shirt contest. Maybe those throwing the Hallowen parties should give prizes only to the people that come in costumes that were recycled, reused,given, loaned, homemade or made out of things they had in their house and NOT give prizes to ANY of the costumes that were purchased or that ANY money. That's the kind of party that's funnest to go to, when someone had to get creative about what to use and find a way to make it ALL free for everyone. Besides if you didn't spend $500 bucks to get your costume you won cry so much about weather you did or didn't win a damn prize. WE ARE ALL ADULTS RIGHT??? We don't ALL cry if we don't get what we want hopefully. There would probably be more parties for more people (not just people who that they know) we'd ALL have more fun if different people could come that just DONT now because of the cost we would all have more people to FUc|< if that changed. Everyone just ask Tif what they're doing to keep this BBQ as pay for your own meat and have some FUN!!! This one will hopefully be AWESOME!!!

Question for women - Bi sex - I dunno, althought communication is key I to was curious about f/f sex but would never go through with the arranging of it myself. I figured if it happened then wonderful but if it was up to me then it would never happen. My husband took the bull by the horns and took me to a club where it was for swingers, of course, I went on my own free will, but he arranged the night out, and made the plans, and didnt tell me a thing till we got there. That way I didnt needta think about it. Although we had talked about it, and he knew that I was willing, but just to shy to ever make the move. I was worried also about reputation because we lived in a small area he took me out of town, which relaxed me a ton. It was fun, and I wasnt mad Iwas excited to go in and glad I didnt haveta make the decision or make the first move towards going through with our fantasy. It was a nice relief. We had a good time and it made me more relaxed for more involvement. Just discuss what she would like to do and ask her if maybe you arranged the meeting all your own so she didnt need to worry bout anything and made it for out of town would she go along with it, and then suprise her if she indicates that it would be okay.

Is this one of your rules? What is it? is it fear? or something - Does everyone feel this way? -

242,

We (Tami and I) have never ran across anyone that said they didn't want to have sex and only wanted to make friends. We have ran across those that want to be friends (have trust established), first. The latter I can totally understand, as we are two people that require trust in people we play with. We also find attraction in the personality and minds of the individual. Have there been exceptions for us? Yes, however, we have found that "spur of the moment" play was unsatisfying and regrettable. We try not to label people. We just avoid those that are into something we are not. Just as a couple not into anal sex would avoid sexual contact with those seeking anal. We avoid those that want to hook-up on first meetings without inhibition. Why? There are forceful individuals, there are deviants, there are bi-sexual males that think they can touch without permission, there are people who drug others, there are people that smoke pot and others that can't be around it due to their profession. The latter doesn't have to end a friendship as we happen to be in professions that don't allow exposure, we just had to perfect a little dance with our pot smoking friends. Many people view this as a "lifestyle". We certainly view the "free thought and expression" as a "lifestyle" but the "sex with others", is a recreational thing that we can turn on and off like a switch. Sometimes we feel like playin with our swingers buddies and sometimes we just like talking, drink and having other types of fun with them. Swingers or "Libertines", as I like to refer to them, are mostly "free thinker" types so I like to interact with them on other levels as well. Though there are still those types that only swing for the sex and still have closed minds in regard to everything else. Those are the types I find strange. How you can be a conservative swinger is beyond me. However, I respect anyone's desire to fuck. So I do not judge. I just decide who fucks me and my wife. That's all. We all can't be compatible with everyone on all levels, all the time. It's impossible. Whether it's fucking or writing in the forum, there is always gonna be someone that doesn't like you. Trust me, I know this first hand. So, like ole Rick Nelson once said... You can't please everyone, so you got to please yourself. That's a rule to fuckin live by.
-Don-

Why so much hate in the swingers world... - - see we all get shit on here so don't feel like your the only one,, kristy

Are we really as judgmental as vanilla people? - - Swingers are very judgemental, maybe more so than the general population. It's not just over weight people that are judged by people in the lifestyle. Single men are discriminated against daily...just because they are male. We seem to be good at grouping like people together be it sex, weight, race. People in the lifestyle sure don't hold back when it comes to discrimination.

LDS Swingers Survey - Will any former/active LDS swingers take my survey? - The Mrs. took it. Anxious to see the results :)

A Place In The Lifestyle - - Well, It sounds more like a Utah club. We do not have swinger clubs here. Unless the club wishes to work at keeping people that are not in the lifestyle out, you may have to find another way to determine the swinging couples. Maybe the swinger wrist bands are a good idea at that club to identify others in the lifestyle. It would take some work on your part talking with those you may already know are in the lifestyle. You may not wish to wear them other places but it would solve a lot of problems for you in the club. Now the other question of who belongs is very difficult to answer. A lot of swingers do not swing very often or with very many others. So I see little difference between meeting one lifestyle or the other. As long as you are comfortable with your lifestyle, and asking another person if they are in the lifestyle, I do not see how you can lose. In Utah the chances are always slim that anyone will say yes straight away if they do not already know you. I would say that since it is a swinger club you have a greater chance than we do here at finding people in the lifestyle and you might even find some converts.

Swinging with Vanillas - Any success stories? - We were never vanilla, we were born swingers ;-)