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Breaking the 4th wall - meeting a swinger in a vanilla situation. - [quote=FUN4MWF]Rather than jump on the bandwagon and agree with everyone all teenie-bopper style, I'd need more info. Did you articulate in your email EXACTLY who you are, as in your real name and job and how you knew them and the specific circumstances that allowed you to recognize them?[/quote]
Basically my e-mail was:
"Hi, I'm James, the male half of Blueidkat, I work as a sales rep for a national beverage company and consequently call on a lot of retail locations along the Wasatch Front. The other day I was at Blah business in Blah City and noticed someone who looks a lot like you. I know with all the swingers in Utah I must bump into some, everyday, and not realize it. It was so cool to possibly recognize a lifestyler out there in the vanilla world and just wondered if I was right."
I understand the whole fear of being stalked and the need for anonimity but are we that afraid? Do we need to be?
Swingers Kickball Society - - Our next Meeting will be Thursday July 8th...
Friend collectors or swingers - - We always up to meet new friends we are 100%real and chill , and yes there is tons of people here that are just for the pictures wich sucks .
Swing Camp (7/15 - 7/17) - Swingers Campout in Birch Creek Idaho - We also are planning for the NxN campout and have to do extra hours. Sounds like a lot of fun, maybe next year *hopefully*
Girls that are into DP - How common is this activity among the swingers? - I would love to find a couple to DP with...even DVP it they want.
We're Back!!! - Hi there! - [quote=Starlights]Makes me wonder how many viable, sincere hits you two get with such a specific search criteria. You don’t consider yourselves “swingers”, but you’re on a swinger site looking for an exclusive relationship… from my own personal experience and from what I’ve seen with others, this type of relationship with another couple burns short but bright. I always caution couples we know when they come across other couples that change their minds from a sexy fun friendship to trying to back them into a serious “exclusive” relationship… excluding all other friends they’ve made in this LS along the way. It can be a drama filled and painful road. I’m sure of the 6 couples you’ve dated over the years you can attest to that if you’re being 💯 honest to yourselves.
This type of relationship should be (imo) found organically and mutually if that’s what it ends up being… Saying you want to be exclusive with a potential swinger couple from the start, while upfront and honest, can sound forced and rigid. Some of the stories of possessiveness between couples just sound absurd to us given the LS they’ve chosen.
In any case, good luck with your search.[/quote]
👍 I get that. If I'm understanding Candyrocks criteria, I can empathize with them though. We feel similarly challenged in that we haven't much interest in couples whose focus is bouncing from couple to couple. At the same time, I realize that the relationship we hope to find is like looking for a needle in a haystack. Adding to that challenge is our location, and, more these days, the time.
Our search might be narrow enough that we're dooming ourselves of any adult fun with others. But, if we settle for something that doesn't closely fit what we're hoping to find, it would seem we were not being true to ourselves, or the other couple.
Playing Alone - - Couples all have different rules. Many categorically refuse to play alone with ANYONE ever. This is their "security" place. They feel comfortable in the place where they can see each other and "protect" if necessary. It takes some people a long time to get passed this.
It's kind of a 'control' thing leftover from the vanilla life. I'm not saying it's bad, good or indifferent it's just the way it is. Some people take longer to get passed their histories as vanillas than others. As they progress and get more comfortable with themselves, the lifestyle, their partners then they will slowly open up and begin to trust a bit more.
Don't take it personally, that's the key. Many people still hang on to their vanilla background that their partners are their most 'valued' possession. I liken it to my $450 deep sea fishing reel. Sure I'll loan it to someone to use if I'm on the boat with them and can make sure they're taking care of it. Is there anyone I'd just let 'borrow' it out right for the day or weekend? Not a chance in hell.
It takes time to let go of that 'she's/he's mine' get feeling. I think my wife and I took almost 6 years before we got there successfully. We tried many times before that but it never worked out well for either of us. We finally came to a point where it's okay to play separately everything from next room to next state it no longer bothers us. I personally prefer within 30 - 50 miles so she get's home faster for the "after play" sex you're describing (which I really like too.)
You'll have to find a VERY secure, VERY established, VERY strong couple to fulfill your fantasy. They are out there, my wife and I for example but even though we're open to playing separately are we open to YOU playing with her or me separately? That's a different level of trust. Does it mean no? No. It means "maybe" in time it's a possibility. (I'm speaking hypothetically of course.)
Don't worry your "couple" or "person" will come along. You might also try investigating a subsection of the lifestyle called "hotwifeing" while I know few swingers who are hardcore into only hotwifing, there are quite a few that tip toe in that part of the lifestyle (quick def, she plays he doesn't except with her.) That's the post play joy for you and the play and post play joy for her. Most people just bounce between that and swinging. There are people out there just be patient and don't expect it from any current playmates that you have established rules with, they need to progress at their own speed.
Las Vegas Lifestyle Clubs/Hangouts? - Where to go to meet other couples? - What site starts with a k and ends with IE? The swingers circle party was fun with pleasantly surprising couples.
Meeting new swingers? - Where to meet them? -
The net is by far the best way. The two main clubs near us are not good hunting ground and are pricey to join/attend. The next best clubs are in DC, but then you have 2 or more hours between anyone you might meet there.
Place truthful ads about what you want and don't be afraid to respond to the ones already posted. Also Yahoo groups are a great place to meet people by interest.
This Weekend? - - Hall Party in a St. Louis hotel....swingers event....what fun.....free beer and good food....for couples only....THATS WHERE WE ARE HEADED FOR SAT......:z
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