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single males - - Thank you for opening the topic. I hope that it will be used shed some insight and not just complain.
In a place like Habits there are vanilla singles that have no clue that swingers congregate there. So there will naturally be more problem in that environment than a private party.
At a house party the only people that should be there are those that are invited by the host and hostess. Every one of the guests should have known the rules or etiquette of this lifestyle. If you had complaints, they should have been addressed last night with the hosts. Evidently the balance you were looking for was not there.
Sadly it is difficult for most singles to figure out how to talk to a swinging couple. There are no schools or training centers to teach this. As a single male, conversation at a vanilla party with a couple is much easier. Most often the men and women separate and we talk with one or the other without expectations on either side. Sometimes conversation is just conversation.
I find that making friends is generally more difficult in this lifestyle because of the sexual expectations of many. I think that you will find a number of the single men, after getting the cold shoulder from many husbands, find it easier to attempt to talk to the women because they lack the skills to talk with both. It is a mistake but it is also part of the learning process.
There is no excuse for rude behavior on the part of the single male but neither is there an excuse for the typical married male attitude. Single males are always and have always been a pariah and dam few couples want them at any party. I came into this lifestyle as a single male looking to make male friends to hang with that would help me understand the rules. I found most of the males were cold and suspicious and difficult to talk with.
I was not looking for women to play with nearly as much as I was looking for a girlfriend that was already in the lifestyle. But I am sure that as far as most were concerned all I wanted to find was their wife
Here's something Ive been curious about - - [quote=DRAGONFLIES]Two singles meeting up to have sex with a couple doesn't make them swingers. It makes them friends of convenience. [/quote]I could use that line to describe many married couples. I don't just randomly pair up with someone to have sex with or to meet other couples with. I care about my partners, and their well-being. We have a relationship, we communicate before we meet others, we use protection, and are respectful of feelings. We spend holidays together, do family things, and yes I call them friend, but we share more than just sex. I would never characterize them as friends of convenience.
[quote=ANDRAYWAY_SHANAYNAY]can't we all just fuck and get along?
[/quote] Great idea, Friend.
Mormonmomtok - Tiktok mormon swingers - Man, I'll bet she is making a fortune with it and will keep going. I hate that attention and drama
Help us out.. Take this Survey - For Utah Swingers - Done
Just between Us - Is there anything that you don't do with a swinging partner that you keep just between you and your partner? - The obvious ones Love and unprotected sex! Then we will do Anal and that is something left just for us! Really dirty dirty talk tends to stay between us too.
:z Other then that we are pretty open to almost everything else with other swingers! We feel that every couple if they think about it has things that they only do with their partner its just some of it you never really notice it until you sit and think really hard about it.
Soft-core roll call - A call out to those interested in the softer side. - Canvas,
It sounds like you and your wife are not quite on the same page yet, which is quite normal at the beginning of exploring the Lifestyle. You are looking for friendships with those who are in a similar situation. That's a good idea, but be prepared that even those friendships may be fleeting as the chemistry or level of comfort may still be different.
At the beginning of our lifestyle journey, my wife and I were just as you are today, (I was also at a different level as my wife too). TheFunCouple offers excellent advice on going to meet & greets. I also add that you might want to check out a place like Sea Mountain Inn in Palm Springs. There you can see how comfortable it is to be nude in front of others and witness all the different levels of the lifestyle. You will have opportunities to talk to others and learn more. There is no pressure to play. Plus, you will be out of Utah and away from people who might recognize you.
If you are adventurous enough, maybe plan a vacation to Temptations Resort in Mexico. This resort is not truly a lifestyle resort but is a lifestyle friendly resort since so many non swingers go there. It still is a sexually charged resort. You will meet a lot of people who are similar to you there and you have a whole week to be relaxed, get into vacation mode, and explore your steps into the lifestyle together without judgement or pressure.
Can someone enlighten me? - - Naw, no trick. We just post shit to vent or to amuse ourselves. We aren't really out there beating the bushes for more pussy/cock. Have plenty if we want it and are at that phase in our swinging careers where we're content to just hang with our homies...or any one of the great friends we've made over the years and if sex happens then it's the frosting on the cupcake but it's certainly not required or expected. Just thought it terribly odd that simply changing our primary pic would elicit so many blind friend requests and that so many would be from people who have zero content in their profiles. Just because we're semi-retired swingers doesn't mean we don't like meeting new peeps and couldn't be enticed to come out of retirement for the right offer.:-) C'mon you guys, if you're gonna write/friend request us at LEAST read our profile (yeah I know it's longer than War and Peace, but there are SUBTLE little "hints" in there about what we are and more importantly aren't looking for). And give us SOMETHING that might give us a reason to think we have something in common or would want to at least hang out over drinks or something. We've totally broken the ignore button on our 'puters already.
Alternative Websites - What other sites! - seeing a lot more swingers popping up on fetlife of late
Translating Personals/Swingers Ads - - ROFLMAO! Okay, now it all makes sense!
what the f#%@ was he thinking? - swingers still deserve respect - That e-mail was totally out of line and I would like to say on my behalf as a single male, I would never conduct myself in such a manner. If I were expecting to be a guest, then that is what I would be. The agressors are truly insecure. Sometimes too I wonder if some 14 year old didn't get access to an account or something like that.
None the less I continue to witness such a sensitivity to single males almost to the degree that saying hello is out of line. I guess that looks like another agressor. I do not want to come across as a whiner but it really makes it difficult for those of us who are hoping to make a connection somewhere.
One more thing to the originator, HOTTYZX2; you are a great looking couple and there is no reason you shouldn't have the kind of fun you are looking for. Hang in there, take care of yourselves and counsel one another about how to deal with such nonsense as the e-mail you received.
Sincerely,
Rick
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