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I Have A Question - Poly vs. Open - [quote=EVILDOERS]Thanks for the responses so far. I thought of a couple of additional questions. Are you seeking, finding and connecting with other open/poly people here on Swingular or are you finding people thru other means? Also, do you find that most of the people you connect with are single or are they in their own primary relationships? Does it matter much to you if they are single or coupled?[/quote]
Great question. Almost exclusively non swinger community singles surprisingly. Have tried amongst the swingers but they seem to have a very quid pro quo mentality.
big - - GARYLSTAR, This is a swinger site. Not a picture site. LOL It's for swingers to meet on any level they so choose. Pics and writing are both ways of doing it. I hardly think 95% of the people come for the pics. I sure as hell don't come here for the pictures. I can tons of images for free all over the web.
-D-
Soft-core roll call - A call out to those interested in the softer side. - [quote=PARTYINLV]Canvas,
It sounds like you and your wife are not quite on the same page yet, which is quite normal at the beginning of exploring the Lifestyle. You are looking for friendships with those who are in a similar situation. That's a good idea, but be prepared that even those friendships may be fleeting as the chemistry or level of comfort may still be different.
At the beginning of our lifestyle journey, my wife and I were just as you are today, (I was also at a different level as my wife too). TheFunCouple offers excellent advice on going to meet & greets. I also add that you might want to check out a place like Sea Mountain Inn in Palm Springs. There you can see how comfortable it is to be nude in front of others and witness all the different levels of the lifestyle. You will have opportunities to talk to others and learn more. There is no pressure to play. Plus, you will be out of Utah and away from people who might recognize you.
If you are adventurous enough, maybe plan a vacation to Temptations Resort in Mexico. This resort is not truly a lifestyle resort but is a lifestyle friendly resort since so many non swingers go there. It still is a sexually charged resort. You will meet a lot of people who are similar to you there and you have a whole week to be relaxed, get into vacation mode, and explore your steps into the lifestyle together without judgement or pressure.[/quote]
Thanks. I'm totally fine with my wife not wanting to be with another man. And she's ok with me being comfortable with another woman. So, not being on the same page doesn't cause issues as much as it adds to the challenges.
Any way, I completely agree with you and TheFunCouple about meeting people in person, going to meet-and-greets, etc. That would be the best way to meet and get a feel for people. Two problems with that for us though: 1) We live in Podunk i.e., a long ways from Lifestyle events and 2) neither of us likes parties or any sort of large social gatherings. We're not hermits or socially awkward. It's just not our thing.
I appreciate your post as well as the others.👍
sluts? what? - how so? - [quote=DELICIOUSLYWET][quote=SHADOWINGWHISPERS][quote=DELICIOUSLYWET]There is a book called "The Ethical Slut: A Guide to Infinite Sexual Possibilities" written by Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy that defines Slut in a positive light. They might be using slut in that context. The book has been very popular with swingers for quite a few years. [/quote]
I would hope they are using it in that sense.. but words that compile around the slut term make it strongly seem like it's a negative term.. sadly..[/quote]
If they are using it in a derogatory sense it may be because they are experiencing a certain level of self loathing because they are struggling to accept their own sexual nature or they may have peers and family that would do their best to destroy them were they to live so free as you are. I think that the anger that leads to name calling and judgment sometimes is a secondary emotion that people choose to embrace because the primary emotion is much more painful. They may want what you have but lack the confidence or courage to go find it for themselves and so the same people that call someone a slut in the derogatory sense far too often are the same people that go off and struggle with their own sexuality in dark places through lying, cheating, abuse and even darker acts while swimming in a sea of self loathing.
We should all jump up and down and be happy that you are free or striving to become free of such shackles![/quote]
That makes sense.. I hope everyone can undo the shackles!! Great understanding..
would you? - if you found this on your car in the morning? - Well, since we don't take the bus, probably would push it off, since it's novelty is old. The people that would find it amusing would be either A- immature, or B- Swingers. You'd run across a lot of A's but the B's are much more rare. Guess I'd have to push it off and go to work..
Why is it so hard for peole to answer their mail??? - - Not having the time is a poor excuse. All the sites we have used offer a "canned" reply that is polite and straight forward. All it it takes is a click of the mouse. Don't think I have ever received a nasty gram from a no thank you email. When we first placed ads on swinger sites years ago, most emails were answered. Now that the net is popular and used by more and more people I suspect the precentage of ads from true swingers is smaller. I does make one wonder when you answer an ad with information that describes exactly what the couple is looking fot and don't get an answer???
Northern Utah Party ... Damn It! - We WILL hunt you down ... - SWINGERS??? Oh shit!!! I thought we were just trying an "alternative lifestyle". Hmmmm last time I jumped from a SWING...it hurt like hell!!! But the last time I just slid nice & easy into open arms...it was a good landing!
Are u a vol? - - Hoping to hear from the other folks who like to swing that live in Tennessee. Are there any dance clubs or other social places to party with like minded swingers?
Is this one of your rules? What is it? is it fear? or something - Does everyone feel this way? - 242,
We (Tami and I) have never ran across anyone that said they didn't want to have sex and only wanted to make friends. We have ran across those that want to be friends (have trust established), first. The latter I can totally understand, as we are two people that require trust in people we play with. We also find attraction in the personality and minds of the individual. Have there been exceptions for us? Yes, however, we have found that "spur of the moment" play was unsatisfying and regrettable.
We try not to label people. We just avoid those that are into something we are not. Just as a couple not into anal sex would avoid sexual contact with those seeking anal. We avoid those that want to hook-up on first meetings without inhibition. Why? There are forceful individuals, there are deviants, there are bi-sexual males that think they can touch without permission, there are people who drug others, there are people that smoke pot and others that can't be around it due to their profession. The latter doesn't have to end a friendship as we happen to be in professions that don't allow exposure, we just had to perfect a little dance with our pot smoking friends.
Many people view this as a "lifestyle". We certainly view the "free thought and expression" as a "lifestyle" but the "sex with others", is a recreational thing that we can turn on and off like a switch. Sometimes we feel like playin with our swingers buddies and sometimes we just like talking, drink and having other types of fun with them. Swingers or "Libertines", as I like to refer to them, are mostly "free thinker" types so I like to interact with them on other levels as well. Though there are still those types that only swing for the sex and still have closed minds in regard to everything else. Those are the types I find strange. How you can be a conservative swinger is beyond me. However, I respect anyone's desire to fuck. So I do not judge. I just decide who fucks me and my wife. That's all. We all can't be compatible with everyone on all levels, all the time. It's impossible.
Whether it's fucking or writing in the forum, there is always gonna be someone that doesn't like you. Trust me, I know this first hand. So, like ole Rick Nelson once said... You can't please everyone, so you got to please yourself. That's a rule to fuckin live by.
-Don-
Game ON....which sign is Hornier...(is that a word?) - zodiac signs of swingers? - Wow didn't realize we Libra's are such a minority here
She's a Virgo
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