New London Swingers in Iowa

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The vent! - Judgements, I'm so tired of them. - On judgments: My wife and I were in the lifestyle for many years. She died 5 years ago of cancer and was the love of my life. It has been very hard for me as we were married for 34 years. Many of our friends were swingers because, as others have found, those not involved in the lifestyle often have negative judgmental attitudes. We made many friends. After she died I was supported by my friends but I was no longer invited to parties. For a while that was fine because I wasn't ready. But since I've tried to renew my lifestyle activities, I've found that I am no longer welcome. Why? Because I'm a single male. Forget that my wife and I were involved in the lifestyle up in Seattle, forget the many times we hosted parties at our house, my wife's death made me a pariah to other swingers. I really do not understand this. I'm still the same person. I'm discrete, clean, disease and drug free, I'm not pushy and no always means no. I guess I do not understand why all of a sudden I'm no longer welcome at parties i used to attend. Yes, many people not in the lifestyle judge those of us who are. But a large number of people in the lifestyle are just as judgmental, only they pretend that they are not.

HELP!!! - Need help settling a disagreement between me and the hubby. - I would again say, "That depends." We rarely hook up at parties either but it's because at this point in our swinging career we no longer feel the need/desire to fuck just to say we fucked. We're not prudes by any means but our curiosity has been more than satisfied over the years and we now only hook up with people we find a really good connection with. And we're no longer upset or disappointed when we go out and DON'T hook up, although we have been at times in the past and know quite a few couples who really feel like they've wasted their time (and maybe a good babysitter) when they don't hook up. It very much depends on who we meet at a party, how well we connect, our general mood and other intangibles. We've found that there are generally two types of swingers; those who really just want to forego all the bullshit and fuck and those who want to get to know people a little bit first (even if just briefly) before they decide if they want to fuck them. Which type you are will likely determine how often you hook up. But you know what? There isn't just one way to swing.

Facebook group - - If anything, I can create one and post the link to it here. I admin several pages... none for swingers... yet...

Hedonism 2 Young Swinger's Week - March 19-27 - [quote=SAMEROOMONLY]BMShell: When I crunch the numbers the resort is about $20 a night more, so a little more expensive, if you make a fair comparison and add the "all you can drink" tab to the cruise which runs about $680. We are going for 9 days Friday-Sunday, total cost is $5200. The cruise is 7 nights and will run just under $4000.[/quote] You're forgetting about the price to get to Jamaica, vs. the price to get to Florida. That's usually pretty significant. =) [quote=SAMEROOMONLY]Average age for Young Swinger week is around 33, whereas the average age for the cruise is around 45. Last YSW at Hedo hosted almost 400 people.[/quote] If you do the math, you'll find there are more younger couples on the cruise than there are at Hedo -- even during Young Swingers Week. But not by much. We like the diversity of activities / things to do on the cruise ship -- and the higher-end restaurants and accommodations. But I've heard VERY VERY good things about Young Swingers Week... I think you're going to have a blast.

When You're Shopping the Scene... - - Yeah, it'd be kinda cool if there actually WAS some kind of universal accessory or a signal that swingers could use to ID each other out in the vanilla world. And many have tried over the years but nothing has ever really caught on (back in the day, more than a few women wore necklaces of an apple with a bite out of it). And even if something DID actually catch on, and people wore it or whatever to identify other swingers, how long do you think it would take for the internet to make that fairly common knowledge? We went to a swinger's convention in San Diego a number of years ago. The group had taken over the entire hotel and property and nobody was allowed in without a special wristband. It took about 4 hours for most of the hotel staff to learn what those wristbands meant. By the next day, people at nearby hotels, restaurants, and shopping centers had heard the news and as you passed people they would glance at you and then immediately glance down at your wrist. By that evening, most of the swingers were becoming so self-conscious that they were attempting to hide the wristbands beneath watches and bracelets. A few even pulled them off their wrists, if they were loose enough, and then put them back on when re-entering the property. So, as nice as it would be to know for sure who other swingers are, it would kinda defeat the purpose of what many of us state in our profiles...that we're discreet. I suspect that about 10% (if even) would wear a black ring and about 90% wouldn't for fear of being outed as swingers. YMMV

Polyamory - three (or more)-way RELATIONSHIPS - Hi all.... I'm writing this because Mr. Halfbaked and I finally found someone to swing with, and it turned into more...for ALL of us. Well, me and Mr, and the female half of this couple (long story, relationship was on the brink WAY before we got involved, and they broke up shortly after a few encounters). Thing was, I had already become VERY good friends with the female, and they had been a "play alone and together" couple, so we'd had threesomes with just him and just her, so we knew we liked being with just her. And my guy liked her a lot outside the bedroom, too. Anyway, long story short, we were talking and the subject of polyamory came up (not that we knew that word at the time), because he and i had developed feelings for her, and she'd developed feelings for us. So now, we are a love-triangle in a GOOD way. I am in love with him AND with her, and he is in love with her AND with me, and she is in love with me AND him. We're all in love with each other. So we just kind of made up these rules for our relationship...we have all-together time, and each couple within the triangle also has equal time with just the two. It's been almost a year now, and it's still going strong...We all live apart due to life/economic concerns, but we're thinking about combining households as we plan for this to be a permanent thing. We even want to have a "commitment ceremony" with the three of us, after Mr. Halfbaked and I legally tie the knot (he and she share the same last name, so after he and I get married, we'd all have it). The thing is, we have not found very many places to meet other people like ourselves, though we know they exist...We figured that maybe someone on HERE had some knowledge, either first- or second-hand, that they'd be willing to share. We realize that we're taking a chance outing ourselves on here....from the few people in the lifestyle we have told (we finally found a local club), that OUR lifestyle isn't necessarily welcomed. We figured it was worth it to put ourselves out there, since there are *very* few couples on here even close to local, so we wouldn't really be losing out on much. That said, if you're cool with sharing here on the forum, great. If not, and we totally understand, you could PM us...We're really just looking for other people like us....especially if they are swingers, because we still want to swing, too. Mr. and Misses Halfbaked...or maybe that's 3/4 now, lol ;-)

Other activities? - Do you only meet swingers for sex? - With some of the folks we have met it was sex only and the relationships didn\'t last. The couples we have met with recently have also gotten with us for other activities. They have helped us put up Christmas lights, had dinner and done a lot of other things that don\'t revolve around sex. Of course we don\'t pass up on the sex either. :-)

Vegas clubs / club attire - - We lived in Vegas for about three years, the perfect parties we're not all that great, we found a few friends and would either go to the swingers circle or whispers... the red rooster and green door were really over rated unless you there during a large weekend EDC or CES convention. Business casual for the men always appropriate. Hope this helps let me know if you have any questions

OUTSOURCING - - I thought this was very humorous. My wife and i have been swingers for a while and she is not currently playing the game. while joking around about she not being able to keep up with me she tells me "That is why I outsource you". After thinking about it i find the term really applies. and it works great as a secret word if non-playfriends may be around.

Politics / Religion and the LS - - When you think about it, with all the major, minor, overt or unspoken, and even subconscious qualifiers and disqualifiers that people in the lifestyle use to determine who is 'fuck-worthy', it's amazing that ANYONE is having any kind of naughty swinger sex! HaHa We've often said (And yes, we've been guilty of this as well.) that many swingers often spend more time looking for reasons NOT to fuck rather than looking FOR reasons to fuck. That seems kinda like the antithesis of swinging when you really think about it. Judging by the tone and rhetoric (And, again, I have been just as guilty.) of recent threads, those in positions of power and influence who would seek to divide us for their personal gain have succeeded beyond their wildest dreams. [em]Emo_79[/em]