Larrabee Swingers in Iowa

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New to this all - - Single guys donn't exactly have a easy time of it in the swinging world. It's made up mostly of couples with the occassional Unicorn (single female), and many couples have a "we're trading, but you're not providing the female part of the trade" attitude, which goes all the way back to when what is now called swinging was called wife swapping. And the vast majority of couples who are interested in inviting a single person to play with them are looking for a female, not a male. There just aren't very many people looking for a single male, and there are tons of them looking to be involved. So the numbers are against you. Besides that, it's hard for a single male to meet people. They're allowed to attend only a very, very few parties and/or events unless they have a female with them. Even the male half of a known swinging couple often isn't welcome if the female half isn't with him. He may be in a couple, but withput the woman he's just another single guy. Your best chance at someone being interested in you is online at a site like this. But, again, there are gazillions more single males than there are people looking for them, so the competition is pretty tough. To be a "winner", you usually need to be relatively young, pretty good looking, and fairly fit. So if you want to generate any interest, you have to post pics. And while nudes are a good idea if you hsave the body for it, straight dick pics are not, unless it's 10 inches long or something. And even then it might be a turn off more than a turn on for lots of people. If you don't have any pics of yourself posted, those difficult odds you face morph into impossible odds. If you do manage to attend any parties or events, chill. Don't be aggressive. Single males have a rep for assuming any woman at a swinger's function wants to jump into the sack with them. From what I've seen, most single males aren't like that, but enough are that single guys get labelled as a group, so the best way to behave is as if the woman you're talking to is someone you just met at some "normal" party. The only real difference between a swinging woman and a "normal" woman, whether she's single or in a couple, is that she doesn't think it's necessary to be in some kind of a relationship with someone in order to have sex. Female swingers are just as selective as women in general, and while her presence at a swinging party does mean she's interested in sex, she might not be interested right then, or she might not be interested in you. And a good way to turn that interest off if it's there is to act like it's a given that she wants you. The most important thing to remember is that it's always up to the woman. Whether anything happens, and if it does just what happens, is her decision. So post some pics, be just as respectful to any swinger women you might meet as you would be to any non-swinger woman and if she's part of a couple be respectful to her man, and good luck.

Know any Mormon swingers in SoCal? - Single girl in SoCal wants to know! - Yeah, no...I think she just has a garment fetish. [em]Emo_67[/em] LOL

Comfort level of casual vs relationships? - - [quote=heathencouple]We are still fairly new to this whole lifestyle shindig; just under a year. Trying to figure what aspects we like, don’t like and are just meh. I’m curious though, when it comes to forming emotional connections with other people how open are you to the idea? If it’s a scale of 1 - 10. One being completely casual, “what was your name again” sex and two being “I deeply love you and want you to come live with me and my other two wives” sort of deal... where do you fall? ::: For us we are discovering that we prefer the more connective experiences and don’t shy away from words like “love” or “relationship”. But we also love just super casual fun experiences. All of it entirely contingent on the people involved. So not quite true swingers but also not quite true poly. Trying to see how common or uncommon that is.[/quote] Oh man if two is come live with me and my two other wives I can't imagine what 10 is ;). For us we definitely don't need "feelings" involved but I do want to have some sort of connection with the other people. I dont think I could do a wham bam thank you ma'am type of situation. That being said we have played on the first meeting so idk that probably makes me a hypocrite 🤷‍♀️

Church Swingers, are they out there? - - I believe an important thing to remember here is to live and let live. I just apply the "Don't talk about Religion...it can REALLY cause a fight." rule when engaged in the Lifestyle. (But I guess that's what I'm doing...heheheh.) I agree with some of the comments here. I study a LOT of religions (a hobby). And this lifestyle pretty much flies against most of them (10 commandments, you name it.) So...do what feels good and don't try and hurt anyone. We're all here because we want to be. If you don't want to do this...then don't! Simple! Have fun all. K_T

What is hotwife? - - [quote=DELICIOUSLYWET]In our limited experience, remembering that we don't personally know everyone in the local "swinging lifestyle" community, "hot wife" seems to mean that the wife is free, and probably even encouraged to play with people, other than the husband or wife in a couple, that her husband and her play with in the more traditional definition of swingers. Mostly, it seems to refer to a wife that plays with single men. Most of the "hot wives" we have met, also play together with their husbands with other couples, or in threesomes with another woman or another man, and the husband enjoys similar freedoms. Cuckoldry does not seem to be all that prevalent locally, in our experience. So really, the term "Hot Wife" may be used rather loosely here in Utah. We ourselves are guilty of this. We are not at all into cuckoldry, or anything verging on disrespect, but we enjoy opportunities, and adventures, that for lack of a better description, verge on the worship of the divine feminine sexual experience, with my wife as the object of my and other's sexual adoration. How's that for a convoluted response! [/quote] Thorough based on personal experience and exactly what I have experienced as the single male in a hotwife situation.

swingers helper... - I know some of us need this every now and again... - Ironhorse.... Now that is too funny.

Hall pass - - InvestigatingKink, it looks like we have been in the LS (lifestyle) about the same time, less than a year. Everyone has different needs and weaknesses in their marriage, and I certainly don't judge what other people do, at least not ethically. We were at a party just last night and talking to several couples who have been in the LS for a lot of years. We were discussing this very subject. They all had stories of people who started playing separately and most of those couples are now divorced. Their belief is that it is often very difficult on marriages and definitely not for the majority of swingers. Now all of you hall pass and open marriage people, don't get freaky on me. This is just speculation on my part and opinion of those I talk to. There are many I'm sure it works great for. I believe the LS can be seriously hard on your marriage if you are not in prime shape. We ourselves have had struggles just doing what we do (as I think everyone has had at some point) so to add more uncertainty to the situation would be tough. Also, to us (again, not judging) this is about a journey we are taking together. I like to watch her interact with people and be flirted with and she enjoys the same. If we were not together it feels as if we have moved on to something different. But we are probably rare. Our name alone, SameRoomOnly, should give you and idea of our ideals. I know this is going to sound crazy, but we aren't in the LS just to fuck a bunch of people. We truly enjoy the fun people, making friends and experiencing new things together. An analogy could be made to travel. We both love to travel. But if we started taking separate vacations all of the time, it wouldn't be as enjoyable. Hawaii is wonderful if I am there alone, but if she is with me, it makes the experience so much better. I want her to share in my experiences. Last thing is that we communicate together, almost always. It isn't that we are jealous of what a person says to either on of us, but we like to know what is being said, as a team. It keeps us honest and open and prevents us from having to recap any conversations. We trust each other completely, but we also realize that anyone can mess up and by putting yourself in a situation that could potentiate cheating or dishonesty doesn't seem wise to us. I'm sure some of you will want to interject and say "well, you two must not trust each other. We never worry about things like that. We love each other too much." Maybe so. But our opinion is that when you start to spend alone time with another person, talking freely about whatever the subject may be and are fucking that person, well...it seems dangerous. It's just like when I am at work. If a girl flirts with me or gets too close, I make sure to tell my wife and keep her updated and I also try to distance myself from that person. Not that I plan on cheating, but we are all human and have weaknesses. And by always being honest and open it helps to keep our marriage strong. So, maybe the truth is that we are just not secure enough in our relationship to do something like hall passes or an open marriage, or maybe the truth is that everyone who tries it will fail miserably and end up divorced. It probably is somewhere in the middle of that spectrum, as most things are. Few things are black or white. But we wouldn't entertain the idea of a consistent hall pass. Maybe once, or twice, just to experience it, but an ongoing thing, no way. Good luck with whatever you decide. Mr. SameRoomOnly

Orange County LA Area Swingers?? - Looking to see if this site has wxpanded West yet? - So here we are seeing all you active Utah folk's having what appears to be an active community of Life stylers... I am out in Orange County where we have empty gyms and swing clubs... LOL So any West Coast Couples in shape and ready to meet or mingle? See our page at HANDM here on this site and drop us a line if you are nearby or just as flustered as we are.

Pineapple Stickers - pineapple sticker = swingers? - Urban legend. Same with black rings. Are there swingers who have pineapple stickers (or tattoos) and wear black rings? Sure, but most swingers prefer to keep their little hobby a bit more discreet and I GUARANTEE that if pineapples and/or black rings were anything close to a universal sign/signal that someone was a swinger that word would quickly get out (probably within HOURS on the internet) and most swingers would stop doing it so they wouldn't be 'outed' by a society that still very much disapproves of consensual recreational sex with people other than your partner. Here's a quick anecdote to prove my point. We went to a lifestyle resort hotel takeover in San Diego a number of years ago. The entire property was closed to anyone who didn't have an official wristband. It took all of about 2 hours for the entire resort staff to figure out what the wristbands meant and until the next day for everyone at nearby businesses and hotels to figure it out. People at the takeover quickly noticed that people at nearby stores and restaurants were actively looking for the wristbands and would look and point it out to others. Most of the attendees quickly started slipping off their wristbands or hiding them under watches or scrunchies and such. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

The Very Nicest Turndown - Tell US - We have had our share of turn downs, but most we have found people just don't respond. From the few that actually took the time to respond I can't remember anyone doing more than saying no thanks. We did save one response to a rejection letter we sent, the only one ever saved. She wrote an entire 1 page letter about how we should not judge books/people by the cover. It was quite a read. It was in response to one of our nicer rejecting letters where we politely pointed out we had no interest and suggested some swingers groups they might consider exploring (they were just started to explore the lifestyle). oh well.