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Who is going to Younge swingers week HEDO? - anyone going? - [quote=SEXYCPLNWYO]Oh but you look so young and sexy!!! [/quote]
Its all about how you feel!
Yep, left the apostrophy off because too lazy to put it in!!!!
Las Vegas - Swingers clubs ect. - Thanks for the input I'll check them out
Game ON....which sign is Hornier...(is that a word?) - zodiac signs of swingers? - I don't believe in astrology or base myself or anybody else upon when during the year they were born, but just for random stats...
I'm a saggittaurius.
He's a scorpio.
I don't feel either one of us fit into the description given for either sign except for perhaps the fact that we're both horndogs. But that's prolly why we're swingers. We're very open-minded adventurous horndogs. :P
Age - New to the swingers community - is age a factor in how a couple is viewed? -
Don said...
We view the lifestyle as a multifaceted creature. The sex part being a benefit. In order for a person to want to have sex, they have to be attracted to the other person in some way shape or form.
For some, age is an issue. Should we fault them?? I think not. Just as we've discussed in other threads about D&D, Smoking, Sexual Practices etc. The list is long. I think this has to do with preference. Are some people picky yes. Don't let their decision hamper your good time. There are many couples that this is an issue. Most people's taste doesn't change because someone complains. I say move on.
We don't have an issue with age so much as we do attitude and personality. As some of you well know, I (Don) am very opinionated and love to say what's on my mind. Some don't like that. Some thing I am a prick. For those of you that think that...
Anyway, as we say in the Army, suck up and drive on. Don't let rejections rule your outlook, let your successes. Good luck.
-D-
Why so much hate in the swingers world... - - its like this we all don't swing the same way,
we have are likes & dislikes,and if you feel its
a race thing then thats your problem..
but this isn't burger king and you can't have it your way..
so just keep playing the race card,,and it will still get you
nowhere with us,, lol
sorry we don't swing that way.. get over it..
theres others that do ,,so go play with them..
kristy
What about the lifestyle didn't meet your expectations? - Preconceptions and disappointment. - I'm home bored, so stop here if you don't want to read a bunch of shite. lol.
I think we both entered the lifestyle with some preconceived notions of what the people in the LS would be like, but that was mostly from our limited experience with being vanilla and having LS peeps try to hit on us. It just seemed creepy, desperate and gross at the time. We assumed most of the players would be super aggressive, ready to fuck anyone and have zero interest in relationships outside of sex. Our initial entry was simply to watch and be watched. We quickly learned that there are just as many wonderful people in the LS as out of it. Maybe more. There will always be the outliers, the few percentage on each end of the spectrum that are more extreme, but that happens in any population. Overall, it was a happy surprise. So that would be a negative expectation that wasn't met.
As far as things we were hoping would happen or expectation that weren't met, we have very few. But we also went into the labyrinth without really expecting or assuming anything. I don't think we were naive enough to think that this segment of the population was somehow immune from the social characteristics that reveal themselves in any other social class or group. You will always have the "cool kids" the "shy people" the "jocks" the "geeks" the people who classify themselves as the "pity party" and blame the world for their problems. Those things will exist anywhere and should. Swingers are a diverse group of people with a few, maybe very few, common goals. Those goals I think are to meet others with social deviancy and those interested in expanding their sexual experiences or simply to meet new friends. Swinging, in itself, doesn't solidify your beliefs in anything else (politics, food preferences, choice of travel location, or even how or what you are looking for as swingers). I think that is where expectations can fail. If a person goes into a situation thinking, "I/we think "x" so everyone else must think "x" as well", they are bound to be disappointed. I've said this a lot of times, the lifestyle is not black and white. Life isn't black and white. There will be frustrations around every turn if you allow yourself to be duped into thinking your way of thinking is more than just your viewpoint, that it is universal to everyone. I see people complaining of flakes, people who meet once then run away, etc. That's how they roll. That's their truth. It's what they are comfortable with or wanting and who am I to judge. That being said, I don't have to associate with them and hopefully learn how to avoid that situation or become more efficient at finding people with similar interests. The lifestyle is work. Sometimes a lot of work. I think it's foolish to think that it should be easy to find 4 people who all jive. Think about how many people you have dated before settling on the right one for you. And to assume that somehow changes in the lifestyle and that after chatting on kik for a few weeks then meeting over drinks will somehow magically connect you. Ugh. Sometimes it happens. Sometimes not. But I wouldn't expect it. For others, the thought of any connection past the one-nighter is absurd. Why would you want to make friends with your fuck-buddies? It may be too risky and cause too many emotions. Point is, we are all different and that is what makes the journey so beautiful.
And, just a note about flakes, since it is a recurrent theme. Yes, maybe there are more flakes in the lifestyle, but I'm guessing it's specifically related to the nature of the LS. Swinging for some can be very intimidating and frightening. Sometimes the chase is much more fun than the fucking. Not excusing them that do flake, it seems a problem for sure, but I think I understand, at least in part, why it happens so much. There is so much social pressure not to be in the lifestyle and most were brought up without it being the normal way to live. So society is telling us we are wrong, gross, deviant, etc. Add to that the fear of actually getting naked and fucking someone else and it can cause a lot of anxiety in some. When we first started we were petrified to even go the parties thinking it was going to be a fuck/rape fest. lol. Turned out we were wrong but it was a learning process. Lastly, if you are already treading carefully and the couple/person you are supposed to be meeting gives off any bad vibes, maybe flaking is best. It's hard not to hurt someone's feelings and honesty isn't always what happens. I know we have been honest with couples and it turned into a shit-show. Why don't you like us? If you only meet us and give us a chance we can prove we are wonderful. Other's like us, why don't you. It's hard to be honest at times about why there isn't a connection. May flaking be a way to spare feelings? I don't know. There are probably a plethora (Hefe, do you know what a plethora is?)of reasons people flake and some of those my be that they are just douches. But likely there are other people that aren't and are just trying to get out of a situation they are unfamiliar with. Avoid the douches but maybe give those others a second chance.
Evil: always good topics you bring to the table. So you think because people like sex they should be good at it? I know a lot of people who love food but suck at cooking. haha. Maybe having too many options on the table can also make people lazy. I don't have to try hard if I know tomorrow is another partner. To some it's the quantity and not the quality. But I can see why the expectation would be there.
All in all we really have no complaints. It's been a fascination journey. Some ups, some downs, but always and adventure. We will keep our expectations low, both of ourselves and those around us. Less disappointment that way. I'm going back to sitting in my underwear, drinking a beer and watching TV. Zero expectations. haha. :)
Mr. SRO
asking your swinger friend if you can join them. - - [quote=USSIR]Well, I have a co-worker that I have been friends with for a while and recently found they are a swingers, it wasn't shocking to me or anything just thought it was interesting. So some time has passed and I thought I wonder if I could join them sexually.
To me it would just be awkward to as him that. Obviously I'm not going to ask him "hey can I bang your wife?"
I don't care if it was both of them or just her, I've always thought she was hot and I consider my co-worker a good friend.
So, how do I ask that and/or is it a bad idea?
Thanks
[/quote]
As a single male also in this lifestyle who has faced a similar situation my advice would be to just openly talk about the lifestyle, involve both him and his wife in the convo casually over drinks one night when your just hanging out. Basically plant a seed and see if it grows, realistically if they are into the lifestyle and are open to the idea they will invite you, but its best to let them think its their idea to include you. For some couples it just might be out of bounds to include friends into their sexploits.
Black Ring, Right Hand - How to tell if someone's a swinger - You need somebody to be wearing a black ring to give you the confidence to walk up & start chatting with them?????
If you see someone that is attractive & friendly, strike up a converstaion. If things go well, beat around the bush a little & see if they pick up on the hints.
You don't need to make this more complicated than it actually is. Even if someone does not classify themselves as a swinger, they may still be looking for some play. Do you only play with people that identify themselves as swingers? If you do, you will be limiting your available variety of partners.
Are you still interested! - Dynamics amoung swingers - Two comments I am going to try to keep short.
First.. there are the couples we see somewhat regularly, we enjoy the more intimate moments with them, but we need to take a break every so often and just be friends. We are glad they understand that. When we are ready to get back into the bedsheets with them, its much more meaningful and fun. We respect them when they feel the need to become vertical friends for a while and not horizontal. So its not always a loss of interest, just a temporary change of scenery or personal events in our life... (Then again, some people do have issues that change their attitude towards lifestyles altogether.. and you have to respect their needs when they become just vanilla).
Second. Old topic, but similar in nature to this string.
Whatever happened to plain old honesty? Its a frustrating experiences to chat over a period of time, feel a friendship is developing, finally meet and spend a great eveing together... talk about getting together again soon only to be continually stood up or given a rash of excuses. I think everyone understands that finding a good match with another couple comes with several disappointments. Its so much easier to accept when you are told straight out that its not going to work out, rather than being lead on and on with the premise that there is something developing. Common courtesy goes along way and commands respect. Even after a relationship that may have developed for extended periods of time, why not be truthful and let the other party know when the interest is dying or gone? Or when its just a social relationship you are comfortable with.. why not be honest? There are some great friendships that can be made here that dont require sex.
It happens to all of us.. think about how you want to be treated when you are on the recieving end.
HUGS... Cyn, (and him)
thoughts on Pictures - -
I was just curious on how many swingers truly enjoy opening up a profile and seeing only a crotch shot? So many profiles on sites have people that post a crotch or penis shot and expect that will draw lots of responses.
I was also curious as to how many of you had run into profiles where the person(s) had posted pics that were several years out of date?
