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Professionals - - That's just it Chibones: no we are NOT all looking for the same thing out of the lifestyle. People are as diverse as the imagination...and then some. And we have learned that in the lifestyle there are a myriad of things people want and don't want. No two couples are exactly the same and many are polar opposites. Some people do not want to limit the possibilities or their options. But MANY do want to limit them. Some...like yourselves...say almost nothing of substance about yourselves in their profiles. Others write auto-biographies. Some are looking for that one special couple or single. Some are looking to have sex with everything they get within arm's reach of. Some only want dark-haired ladies with large breasts. Others only want men over 50 years old and over 6' tall.
Geographical and regional cultural differences play a strong role in how people craft profiles and conduct themselves in the lifestyle. In our town, you could not be a "professional" and be open about being a swinger. You would be harassed and heavily discriminated against in business. Preachers would tell their congregations not to patronize your business from the pulpit on Sunday mornings, and most of your customers would be church-goers who do what their pastors tell them. Your kids would be tormented in school. Interestingly, if you were an entertainer or a construction worker or truck driver, nobody would care. Your life would go on without incident. This isn't Safety Harbor, FL! (we used to live in St. Pete) The big fight right now in town is over the new Hilton hotel and whether or not they should be allowed to offer PPV adult movies in the hotel rooms. Also, we have a very large element of...how show we say...under-achieving whites...in the lifestyle in this region of the country. I would be willing to wager a month's pension check that you would not associate with them. By comparison, when we look at FL swinger profiles and talk to our FL swinger friends about it, we get the distinct impression that swinging is more of a middle class and upper class past-time down there.
So, in a desire to both clue the right people in and not offend the rest, around here white collar couples tend to use the code-phrase, "We are a _________ professional couple who like to..." It's sort of a polite way of saying "No illiterate toothless hillbillies strung out on methamphetamines who cannot behave in public, please!" So, if "professional couple" offends your sensibilities, you should try walking in OUR shoes for awhile before judging us based on a phrase. Around here, a lawyer who is outed as a swinger would be in serious jeopardy of losing his bar certification. An elected official would be toast. A political appointee would be fired immediately. A real estate agent would see their business shrivel to nothing in weeks. A doctor would lose 3/4 of his patients within a month. And the funniest/saddest thing about it all is that we have one of the highest concentrations of swingers per capita in the US...3rd highest I believe.
This is why PC thinking is so unwise. We judge others based on OUR realities and not usually on THEIRS. In a desire to encourage more "tolerance," we actually become intolerant of anything WE find the least bit offensive. Personally, I celebrate everyone's right to be offensive, wrong, and dumb. That doesn't mean I agree with them or enjoy their company, either. It just means I accept people for who they are and acknowledge their right to be who they want to be. It means I hold the individual's right to self-determination and freedom of expression above almost all other values. It means I am TOLERANT.
TEMPTATIONS ( CANCUN ) - CRAZY PARTY AND FUN - We have been to Temptations and the OP is correct it’s a non stop party with all inclusive drinks and food. However no playroom and not too many swingers and topless optional only. There is a quiet pool for those who want to relax.
We have reservations for their sister resort Desire Maya Pearl in June. That resort is clothing optional, a playroom and I am sure a party atmosphere also based on previous experience with this group of resorts and cruises. It is also a couples only and while we are going with other swingers we hope to meet more swingers while we are there.
It’s all a matter of what your looking for.
You know you are in the Lifestyle when.... - - haha. Good shit. If you haven't watched it, look up "Shit Swingers Say" on YouTube. Funny stuff.
Monogamy in marriage - An interesting article on the subject - I think the number one reason that a marriage goes off track is the lack of communication. It could show up in fights over money, one or the other cheating because their needs are not taken care of in the marriage, or just about any of the rocks that so many couples run into along the path of married life. One reason I think that swingers tend to be happier and more secure is because without good, open communication swinging can be a minefield. Most that stay in the lifestyle for any amount of time learn to communicate better with each other than many others that do not have the experience of sharing. This summer we'll have been married 35 years so I guess it works :-)
Diane & Max
International Swingers - Error - We meant 'MOREFUN'!
Friend collectors or swingers - - I too am guilty but only because most people don't like my body size, type, etc.
BUSTED! Your Kids Found Out Your Swingers. Now What? - - Posted By: SPERMINT Reply posted on:
Aug 15, 2008 - 10:02 am
as for your children seek professional help comprehensive Evaluations by children and family therapist this is not a joke ! this is no.1 a reason for children to commit suicide it happens alot to adopted children and to children who get up one day and doubt as if their parents are actual the real parents as for swinging the children may have now found evidence that the father is not the real father , thay are now in abuse and in need of help.
{all i can tell you all here this is one of my professions i have worked with gov. agency for years }
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Really? Any statistics to back it up?
I don't consider janitor a profession with psychiatric authority. Judging by the way you write and spell, I doubt you hold any position that can make that judgment. Of course, you can prove me wrong by showing me some reasonable statistics.
what if I want to but he doesn't - - [quote=NU2THEGAME]the worst part is that I consider myself intelligent with good common sense, so why can't i repress this- why is this so important to me right now? my hormones are taking over my common sense!! don't want to ruin a marriage for a cheap thrill- but also know that sex is a very important part of a marriage... part of it i'm sure is that I've been with him since i was 14..... i know this.[/quote]
There are many little things that we all do without that do not really affect our lives to any degree. But sometimes the little things turn out to be really big things. I would say that you have found one of yours.
I sounds like you are telling us that you everything your husband wants sexually. But there is something you need that you are not getting sexually. We could guess as to what that is but it would not help to guess. You need to examine and define what it is that you are lacking. Otherwise all we can do is talk in generalities. Some people only feel safe when things are neatly defined and unchanging.
I think that most swingers will tell you that sexually we get into a rut or pattern with any lover and that for many of us that is like the end of life. Most will also tell you that this lifestyle helps to keep you feeling alive and part of the world. You learn knew things from different people and your world opens wider.
Marriage changes how many think or act. Why that is would take many pages off topic. A marriage like good government should be one of give and take and compromise. Once one side had decided not to compromise or find a solution that makes their partner happy, then they have decided that the marriage is no linger important.
As an example: A woman once told me that after marriage her husband only touched her once a year on a specific day. The rest of the time he was a cold fish. That is all he wanted and what she wanted did not matter. In a way that was sexual abuse of the worst magnitude. To choose a celibate life for one
Ways to point out Swingers in public - - ^ all true, but if we see a black ring on a right hand AND a wedding ring on the left hand, we’re going to ask a few subtle questions to see if they are LS or not. It’s just for fun, chances are still low they are LS. As far as picking LS couples out...pre-LS we wouldn’t know what to look for but now it’s not that hard. Watch them at a club and you can often tell. It’s a fun game to play.
Creating an Amazing Swingers Profile - How to market yourself better - [quote=BMSHELL][quote=UTAHSJCOUPLE]Shit! We aren't verified. We are totally screwed!
~The Mrs.[/quote]
I hereby certify the Mrs is real. I further certify that good spelling gives her a lady boner!
[/quote]
It's all true! LOL!!!
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