Canton Center Swingers in Connecticut

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What about the lifestyle didn't meet your expectations? - Preconceptions and disappointment. - I'm home bored, so stop here if you don't want to read a bunch of shite. lol. I think we both entered the lifestyle with some preconceived notions of what the people in the LS would be like, but that was mostly from our limited experience with being vanilla and having LS peeps try to hit on us. It just seemed creepy, desperate and gross at the time. We assumed most of the players would be super aggressive, ready to fuck anyone and have zero interest in relationships outside of sex. Our initial entry was simply to watch and be watched. We quickly learned that there are just as many wonderful people in the LS as out of it. Maybe more. There will always be the outliers, the few percentage on each end of the spectrum that are more extreme, but that happens in any population. Overall, it was a happy surprise. So that would be a negative expectation that wasn't met. As far as things we were hoping would happen or expectation that weren't met, we have very few. But we also went into the labyrinth without really expecting or assuming anything. I don't think we were naive enough to think that this segment of the population was somehow immune from the social characteristics that reveal themselves in any other social class or group. You will always have the "cool kids" the "shy people" the "jocks" the "geeks" the people who classify themselves as the "pity party" and blame the world for their problems. Those things will exist anywhere and should. Swingers are a diverse group of people with a few, maybe very few, common goals. Those goals I think are to meet others with social deviancy and those interested in expanding their sexual experiences or simply to meet new friends. Swinging, in itself, doesn't solidify your beliefs in anything else (politics, food preferences, choice of travel location, or even how or what you are looking for as swingers). I think that is where expectations can fail. If a person goes into a situation thinking, "I/we think "x" so everyone else must think "x" as well", they are bound to be disappointed. I've said this a lot of times, the lifestyle is not black and white. Life isn't black and white. There will be frustrations around every turn if you allow yourself to be duped into thinking your way of thinking is more than just your viewpoint, that it is universal to everyone. I see people complaining of flakes, people who meet once then run away, etc. That's how they roll. That's their truth. It's what they are comfortable with or wanting and who am I to judge. That being said, I don't have to associate with them and hopefully learn how to avoid that situation or become more efficient at finding people with similar interests. The lifestyle is work. Sometimes a lot of work. I think it's foolish to think that it should be easy to find 4 people who all jive. Think about how many people you have dated before settling on the right one for you. And to assume that somehow changes in the lifestyle and that after chatting on kik for a few weeks then meeting over drinks will somehow magically connect you. Ugh. Sometimes it happens. Sometimes not. But I wouldn't expect it. For others, the thought of any connection past the one-nighter is absurd. Why would you want to make friends with your fuck-buddies? It may be too risky and cause too many emotions. Point is, we are all different and that is what makes the journey so beautiful. And, just a note about flakes, since it is a recurrent theme. Yes, maybe there are more flakes in the lifestyle, but I'm guessing it's specifically related to the nature of the LS. Swinging for some can be very intimidating and frightening. Sometimes the chase is much more fun than the fucking. Not excusing them that do flake, it seems a problem for sure, but I think I understand, at least in part, why it happens so much. There is so much social pressure not to be in the lifestyle and most were brought up without it being the normal way to live. So society is telling us we are wrong, gross, deviant, etc. Add to that the fear of actually getting naked and fucking someone else and it can cause a lot of anxiety in some. When we first started we were petrified to even go the parties thinking it was going to be a fuck/rape fest. lol. Turned out we were wrong but it was a learning process. Lastly, if you are already treading carefully and the couple/person you are supposed to be meeting gives off any bad vibes, maybe flaking is best. It's hard not to hurt someone's feelings and honesty isn't always what happens. I know we have been honest with couples and it turned into a shit-show. Why don't you like us? If you only meet us and give us a chance we can prove we are wonderful. Other's like us, why don't you. It's hard to be honest at times about why there isn't a connection. May flaking be a way to spare feelings? I don't know. There are probably a plethora (Hefe, do you know what a plethora is?)of reasons people flake and some of those my be that they are just douches. But likely there are other people that aren't and are just trying to get out of a situation they are unfamiliar with. Avoid the douches but maybe give those others a second chance. Evil: always good topics you bring to the table. So you think because people like sex they should be good at it? I know a lot of people who love food but suck at cooking. haha. Maybe having too many options on the table can also make people lazy. I don't have to try hard if I know tomorrow is another partner. To some it's the quantity and not the quality. But I can see why the expectation would be there. All in all we really have no complaints. It's been a fascination journey. Some ups, some downs, but always and adventure. We will keep our expectations low, both of ourselves and those around us. Less disappointment that way. I'm going back to sitting in my underwear, drinking a beer and watching TV. Zero expectations. haha. :) Mr. SRO

On Premise Swingers Club - SLC - I think an on premis club needs to be here in Salt Lake. There are so many of us. I went to the previous one 2-3 times a month until something happened that we don't need to go into here. Anyway friends request was sent.

lifestyle club downtown slc... - - whos all going to the swingers club tonight? we are looking for unicorns or married women who can play alone... if you see us out say hey. let us buy you a drink...

New Swingers Club in Utah - Gauging interest in new club - We'd love to have one! Since we can't host it would be nice to meet up and have a place to play spontaneously. 1. We would attend (assuming there is often a crowd) 2. Around once a month 3. Play rooms, sitting area, dance floor, pool table, "couples only" area, preferably a large open setting 4. $25-50 per couple $30-125 single males $0-25 single females (depending on how nice the club is) I've often wondered why almost every other state but Utah has swingers clubs. I've always assumed it was legal limitations. But honestly if you could swing it (pun intended), we'd love it!

Swingers Next Door! - ABC news story on Swinging! - I've heard that the A&E show is just what I thought it'd be, the young & beautiful and tension emanating from the vanilla neighbors. Of the 3 things I expected, so far, apparently, there hasn't been a marriage destroyed by swinging, but I'd be surprised if that doesn't turn out to be part of this "reality" show. But after just 1 episode, it looks like I'm 2 out of 3. I'm sorry, but I really think the show is an attempt, probably successful, to exploit something most people would find edgy and fascinating. I'd love to see a REAL reality show about swingers, but somehow I doubt that will ever happen because it wouldn't fit the "successful TV show" formula well enough. The closest I know of to an honest portrayal of things society thinks are taboo was that "real sex" series. And look how long that lasted. Certainly not long enough to have covered the many things that would have fit into the show's premise. If it was still running now there'd still be lots of things out there for new episodes. My suspicion is that while the title might have been, the actual shows just weren't sensational enough for it to be a long term success. ~ Terry

Utah moms (Mormon) TikTok drama - - [quote=Gitterdone]I don't know who that person is but I do know that swingers will ways throw others under the bus. It's happened to me several times mostly to get with the female I was with. Men will tattle on each other in hopes that the female will leave and run to him which never did work. Nonetheless the attempt was there. They ways tell and swingers always talk. Yet this entire time I've kept so many secrets about others and never will reveal anything. Too bad no one else does. I've been around for a long time in the lifestyle especially when I was a couple. We knew about marriages breaking up. Two of who I know personally. Actually three now that I think about it. I'll never name anyone. All I ask is the same respect and keep it to yourself.[/quote] Unfortunately some people in the community get some thrill from outing others, gossip and causing chaos. That’s human nature, we suppose. Not been our thing. Guys have offered to take Mrs away and give her what they supposed she did not have. Gals have made the same offer to Mr. Again, not our thing. We’ve seen a few couples try the lifestyle as a way to “save” their relationship. If that’s what they need, it rarely works, there’s probably deeper issues at play than good playtime. We’ve had lots of fun, met really cool people, and learned so much. We’ve also had terrible (mostly comical and some tragic) times, met some creeps and assholes, and made more than a few mistakes. What consenting adults do amongst themselves is their own business. Outing others is not just bad form, but a major downer. But we’d be remiss if we didn’t admit to taking some amusement from watching them throw each other under the bus (more popcorn and a bigger bus, please!).

Shit Swingers Say - Hilarious Video.. - One of my all-time favorites.. [url=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O5v-6_6qat4&list=PL1JZ_IMsHzmym9pC-JbiN35ErrRCdq2aX&index=2]Shit Swingers Say[/url] (YouTube)

Site activity - - [quote=Daddylikestowatch]Is it just us or does it seem site activity, the forums particularly, have declined significantly ? It seems active member participation has been lagging quite a bit and limited to a few “regulars”. Has everyone else jumped ship ? Is there another site getting a bigger following ? This is a shame, we have been on Swingular for several years now, and not particularly super active outside of the site, we still enjoy following and posting on the forums and staying connected with the community. We understand the administrators have for the most part abandoned this site for several years now, but was hoping at least the community would keep it going.[/quote] We run a local discord group for Utah for swingers its not as robust for profiles and things but it makes the chats easy

Swingers in a vanilla bar... - - @JSTJIM72 -- I thought of that, but didn't have reply if they had said 'no' :) (And if they said "yes" -oops, then what do I say! LOL!) @T4REAL69 - Huh? What typos? ;) @Darknladyjedi - Sounds good. So, 'Hi, how are you two doing tonight" :)

Finding a balance - Swinging and Religion - - [quote=ABCMAN]http://www.libchrist.com/swing/happysafestudies.html someone asked about Christian swinging groups...we'll here ya go. I think the animosity in Utah about religion comes from one direct source in most cases (LDS Church).. but of course some of the Christian (fundamentalist...bible beating) crazies can drive one crazy as well. The reality is that I have not seen a man made religion yet that isn't focused on control of it's flock. My question is how much did Christ push the idea of a church and how much of it was his disciples and Paul later on in the bible. Cliffnotes, I actually think you make a good point...context is so important in reading ancient documents, and the bible would classify as one. To use 21st century definitions or perceptions is useless in understanding 60 AD Jerusalem. I do think that you make a good point regarding David and Solomon, but of course the counter to that is that the Lord gave them their wives and concubines (,,,,Joseph Smith and the Mormons think this way...) Personally I don't see why a GOD would only give a King many wives and not the common bloke out in the wheat field, and frankly I wouldn't put much stock in some Old Testament tale or atleast the justification for them having many wives. I'm sure God really didn't give them anymore then anyone else. As for swinging, my personal feeling is that if your intent is not to harm, be in physical, be it emotional, then go for it. But that can cover a wide range of possible situations. I think there are ethical issues that always need to be addressed if your going to last long in the lifestyle. #1 Don't break rules you and your significant other set up between one another, and always communicate. #2 If it isn't a gift to one another, then maybe you need to reevaluate why your doing it. #3 If your looking at it as an escape, then you maybe doing harm to your partner or another persons marriage. #4 If your single and looking for a long term mate, then don't covet some other persons spouse, no matter what they may say or do. If he/she is falling for you, then do the ethically thing and break it off. It just causes harm to everyone involved in those situations, and don't think for a minute that you won't suffer long term ramifications from that type of situation. I'd let the couple work it out or they leave on another before I'd get involved again with that person. #5 Safe Sex, not only for you but your partner and others as well. (Golden Rule) if these sound patronizing then I apologize, but personally this is the approach I've taken, and my wife as well. So far it's worked out well. [/quote] Good post! By Groups I am talking about the groups that will soon be available on this site. In another site there was a group called Christian Swingers, it was very interesting and educational. I seem to remember a LDS swingers group also. But that is a good website you posted.