Smartville Swingers in California

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how do we ask others - kinda new and need advise - Hey y'all :-) Well my bf and i have been together 10 years. We have went to swinger clubs in vegas and had 3 somes with my friends... which the friendship never ended well... Leson learned there :-/ Anyways we are looking for others to play... But we also needed to be kinda discrecte because of my profession. Im not a social butterfly by anymeans but im well off with liquid courage. He says hes forgot how to talk to woman and feels kinda nervous.... Never was before. We wana be able to go to a bar or someplace and be able to find someone. Can you give me advise on how to pick up a woman and bring her home with us. What do we say? What are signs that maybe other swingers know? Any help would be great. Were just looking to be able to have fun with someone besides my friends.

Swingers cars??? - What ya driving?? - We have a 2011 BMW X5; 2009 Jaguar XF; 2005 Mercedes SLK 350; & 2000 Infiniti QX4. We still need to break in the newer three. The SLK is tricky, a top down event!

We're Back!!! - Hi there! - [quote=Canvas][quote=Starlights]Makes me wonder how many viable, sincere hits you two get with such a specific search criteria. You don’t consider yourselves “swingers”, but you’re on a swinger site looking for an exclusive relationship… from my own personal experience and from what I’ve seen with others, this type of relationship with another couple burns short but bright. I always caution couples we know when they come across other couples that change their minds from a sexy fun friendship to trying to back them into a serious “exclusive” relationship… excluding all other friends they’ve made in this LS along the way. It can be a drama filled and painful road. I’m sure of the 6 couples you’ve dated over the years you can attest to that if you’re being 💯 honest to yourselves. This type of relationship should be (imo) found organically and mutually if that’s what it ends up being… Saying you want to be exclusive with a potential swinger couple from the start, while upfront and honest, can sound forced and rigid. Some of the stories of possessiveness between couples just sound absurd to us given the LS they’ve chosen. In any case, good luck with your search.[/quote] 👍 I get that. If I'm understanding Candyrocks criteria, I can empathize with them though. We feel similarly challenged in that we haven't much interest in couples whose focus is bouncing from couple to couple. At the same time, I realize that the relationship we hope to find is like looking for a needle in a haystack. Adding to that challenge is our location, and, more these days, the time. Our search might be narrow enough that we're dooming ourselves of any adult fun with others. But, if we settle for something that doesn't closely fit what we're hoping to find, it would seem we were not being true to ourselves, or the other couple.[/quote] Having good friends with benefits like this sounds like a beautiful dream but we're not going to limit ourselves to the pursuit of just that in the meantime. Exploring and expanding our boundaries has been a lot of fun and we'll continue to do so. If someday we do find this perfectly matched couple that checks all the right boxes and pushes all the right right buttons that lives close by, awesome, we'll make it a thing. Until then? Well...

Why so much hate in the swingers world... - - Uluv.... you asked and have gotten may differnt responses. We are one of those couples looking for single males but your location makes it difficult to hook up. As for the hate you feel.... well it is my opinion that people on here give their opinions and a person takes it the way the want. Yes your name sounds a bit like porno but this isn't the Brady Bunch's website either. As for Utah being the whitest state.... that I would have to agree on. My 10 year old son met my sisters boyfriend a while back who is black and told him the he needed to use more soap because he didn't get the dirt all the way off. Thank god the guy was good about it but it comes from not many black people in this state. And then to the comment about single males bring nothing to the table. I have heard that many times on these forums and it bothers me. A single male brings in a lot of different possibilities if you are open enough to the experience. If you are not open or have had probs with single males it does not mean that the single male cannot provide fun for another couple. Tasha

Looking for fit couples our age SLC - - How fit are we talkin' here? A BMI under 15? Marathon time that qualifies for Boston? Holding eka hasta vrksasana (the one-handed tree pose) for 60 seconds? Able to leap tall swingers in a single bound? Cuz we don't qualify under ANY of those criteria. But here's a slightly older pic of Ms. Evil after her Crossfit class at the gym. Slide into our DM's if you want summa that! [img]https://m.popkey.co/f22a38/4MyK8.gif?c=popkey-web&p=popkey&i=mondaymotivation-reactions&l=direct&f=.gif[/img]

Girls that are into DP - How common is this activity among the swingers? - [quote=SEXYCPLNWYO]Going out on a really big and thick limb here HARD_STONE, but i'm guessing she'd like you in her pussy and I'll get the ass. Works for me![/quote] ;)

Discretion, the better part of valor - I love that saying - Being the female half here and in a "open" relationship..... Your profile photos are bad... I mean in this lifestyle people like what they like and if you dont have enough photos to show what you are like in general.... then pass (at least for us anyway) I always get more action then my hubby, he has the same issue....how to start up the conversation. Its hard enough for a actual single guy to get laid, let alone a married one without the woman thinking your a freak or cheating. We go to parties, and then follow up with the ladies there. Thats where he's got the most single guy action from. Even then that conversation can be a hard one to start haha I have a issue with my hubby not wanting to be "outed" in his professional circle so thats a difficult one. I'm very very very open and honest and that can be difficult for me to hide stuff like this (side note, I would NEVER out someone else, I just have a hard time keeping my own secrets!) All I can say about that being outed thing. Take a walk in the mall, you'll see a couple hundred people that your more then likely never to see again, even though logically you live in the same area and do some of the same general things. Loosen up, live a little. If she does see someone at work that she's slept with.. guess what... they've seen her too! All of the swingers I have met are very respectful and wouldnt come up and high five and say "Nice fucking you Sat, when can we do it again?" at a board meeting or something HAHA Just sayin'

Looking to establish a group of safe swingers - - We would be very interested in this. let us know if anyone is interested with us

Small town fun - - Maybe you could plan something with other swingers when you are travelling or have a out of town vacation on holidays and swing during it.

Extramarital Affairs and the Lifestyle - Where do you stand? - **Bottom line here is can we just stop all the finger pointing, labeling, and judging? Morals are a personal thing and eveyone is entitled to theirs and I\'m of the mind set...don\'t force yours down my throat and I won\'t force mind down yours.** Wrong. No one is interested in passing judgement here. Simply stating the facts as they are. Also, I think that some of us have returned to the cheating vs swingnig morality issue that we agreed earlier was NOT the intended direction this thread was going in. The issue IS a moral one, as someone pointed out. However it isnt whether or not CHEATING is the same as SWINGING. Since the thread has been joined by so many other now (AND I THANK YOU GUYS FOR STEPPING UP AND SHARING!) several differing points of view have emerged. Some \"vanilla\" or traditional people attempt to convince their mates to swing (MALE OR FEMALE) and for whatever eason that partner says NO. That person can not accept this answer for whatever reason, and decides it is worth risking everything they hold dear to swing. We have explored that. On the other hand, other \"vanilla\" people HAVE NEVER, AND WOULD NEVER EVEN ATTEMPT TO BROACH THE SUBJECT TO THEIR MATES. For fear of hearing NO, for fear of divorce...whatever...These same people, as one of our single gentleman pointed out...would look down upon us and label us sinners for being \"SWINGERS\" and all that they quite incorrectly feel that entails, and then in the same breath, go out and CHEAT on their mates. (I know one where she cheated on her husband with the pasteur of their church!) Cheating is actually more accpetable than swinging to a LOT of \"vanilla\" people. To share their mate, agree on the format, and practice an open dialogue about it is unthinkable. To cheat is not. >>TO ADDRESS THE CHEATING SWINGER ISSUE AGAIN<< This was never meant to single out you single guys out there, and I am not going to defend this post, or our stand on it. If you have read our profile, you should understand that we date single men and women almost exclusively! We just prefer to know the TRUTH about your situation, and beleive it or not, in this lifestyle...that is a tall order. As someone else said, that is a choice each of you has to make. We would prefer to know the truth about your situation so that we can decide to say NO for fear of creating hurt feelings and contributing to the end of a relationship that we are not even a part of. My mind will not allow me to justify what my heart knows to be just plain wrong. Luvbugs! ;)