Madera Swingers in California

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Ugly people and swinging - - A few years ago we met our first "swingers." They were in their 50's, overweight, and not attractive. We eventually met more of their friends who were equally overweight and not attractive. They were always trying to entice us to participate in their "swinging" activities. It seemed as if all these couples lost interest in each other and just wanted some other person besides their own partner to fuck. They were always looking to trade up and we were the outcasts for not participating. The overweight ugly people always hide behind "inner beauty" and "connection." Sorry, I don't get it. My girl doesn't get it even more than me. I'm aware that ugly people need love too. It's great when two ugly couples can come together and eventually....come together. You know who you are. Or at least others know who you are. Attraction is everything in this lifestyle. Standards vary not only from couple to couple but person to person. Think about it: It's absolutely amazing that you found someone that isn't completely disgusted by you and vice versa. The odds of finding another couple that BOTH of you are into are astronomical. I think a lot of people in this lifestyle just "settle" for what's available, in turn lowering the collective standard. Don't be afraid to reject a couple if one of them is unattractive. Your partner will appreciate this.

Gym - - There are actually a fair number of swingers we know at our Gold's. There are probably more than we even know about but most of the peeps there seem to be pretty serious about their workouts and don't seem to be looking for hookups. Too bad they don't have like a swinger's hour or maybe a Wife Swap Till You Drop class. ;-)

Weeding through the real/ fakes - I wish there was a "validation " on profiles.. - PolyCouple, I think you're pointing to a cultural gap that we've also been frustrated with for years. We fall more into the independently open category, which puts us closer to the poly-lite and kink communities than the swinger community. We've found that a lot of swingers have the men negotiate the process and that's a huge turn off for us so we end up considering it a red flag in terms of what we're looking for. No judgement, it just clearly wouldn't work with our dynamic. We're free to talk to and do whatever we want with whomever we want. And we do. It's just different. But, in general, only hearing from the man does also make it hard to figure out if you're talking to a real couple or if there's true enthusiastic consent involved on all sides. Especially with so much catfishing going on over on other apps. Maybe the site could have badges or tags that filter searches.

Swingers Kickball Society - - Definitely interested!

Mormons - - We too find a suprising amount of swingers either are or were mormon, but then again maybe its not so surprising. I often refer to it as the 'Preachers daughter' syndrom: either your pure or you do what you want and flaunt it. Utah seemed to produce alot more of the latter.

Evil's latest poll. Fellas, would you ever... - - [quote=CHEFFETTE][quote=EVILDOERS]Naw. Not tryin' to be the Soup...er Sex Nazi. Just wanted to try to understand where some of the attitudes about male bisexuality and swinging come from. I find it extremely interesting how much homophobia still exists in the world and how much exists in a community of people dedicated to sexual freedom. I find human nature fascinating and especially when that nature is something that is more or less taught rather than innate. [/quote]In the three months + I've been reading here all I can come up w/ to explain certain members' homophobia and continued, idiotic comments is this is a male-dominated swinger site and in my experience males feel more threatened by the potential they're perceived as something they don't want to be seen as; you'd think that w/ as much time as they spend w/ their own cock in their hand every single day they'd be less terrified of a cock belonging to another guy, but apparently they must declaim it at every turn or they'll go sterile/bald/teh gayz w/o even TRYING.[/quote] If I were from Maine, I'd say "Ahyup". As I told a girl a couple days back when we were talking about "Sexual Fluidity" by Lisa Diamond, when she said she'd heard that Diamond is working on a new study along the same lines, but on men instead of women, I doubted she'd find much there because, for whatever reason, society has a much more severe taboo against male-male sex than it does against female-female sex. The taboo against women with women was once nearly as strong, but since probably sometime in the '60s it has become much less so. And you're surrounded by society's attitudes, and they're pounded into your head from they day you're old enough to understand anything. And the stronger a taboo, and male-male sex is one of the strongest, the more unlikely it is that you'll get ever rid of it. Physically, sex is a matter of friction properly applied to the correct parts of the body, ultimately resulting in orgasm. So the sex of the person applying it, or to whom you're applying it, really shouldn't matter. But it does. I have absolutely zero homophobia. If I'm in bed with more than one person, and some guy's hand touches me someplace for a second I won't freak out or even care. I understand that I've been socialized into how I feel, and that if I'd grown up in, for example, ancient Greece, I wouldn't have been. I understand that the prohibition of male-male sex grew out of humanity needing to expand as quickly as possible in order to survive, and that the cultural attitudes which that created got written into religions as they developed. I know that there's absolutely no logical reason for it. I know that the "logical" arguments against homosexual sex are nonsense. Like "it isn't natural - you don't see homosexual animals." Bullshit. Yes you do, all the time. I have a hen who's always humping the other hens. She doesn't accomplish anything, but she does it. One of the animals that is genetically closest to humans, the Benobo, a type of chimpanzee, has sex all the time with members of its band (the true swingers of the animal world), male or female, doesn't matter. I know that physically, biologically, there's no reason sex with one sex shouldn't work as well as with the other. I have a really good friend who is a pre-op male to female transexual, and if she ever has the surgery, and becomes physically female below as well as above the waist, sure I'd have sex with her if she wanted to. And I have other friends who are lesbian or gay. And I even belong to and volunteer for HRC (Human Rights Council). I should be a prime candidate for bisexuality. But no, I would not suck someone's dick. Or want some guy sucking mine. Even though I understand that that feeling has been socialized into me, that it probably wasn't predetermined when I was born male, still it's there, and it is what it is. The more emphatically something is socialized into you as you grow up, the less likely it is that you'll ever break away from it, even if you do manage to get away from some of the other things you were "taught". And I think that, Evil is your answer. ~ Terry

lets talk about meet n greets - whats yours like? - There are several area groups that have meet and greets every weekend. Some happen in bars, resteraunts, and dance clubs. The number is so large (140-400) that it is a complete take over and the place is warned that the swingers are coming in. We do also have some swinger clubs that people can attend. There are several people that post that they have house parties. People that attend house parties can be from 20-60 people at least.

Ways to point out Swingers in public - - There are signs. I feel like in the right environment, people pick up on each other. We have met tons of random lifestyle couples just by paying attention. We also wear black rings on our right hand when we are looking. It has worked a couple of times.

Secret Swingers Club Ogden, UT - Clubs - I can't find the group on Facebook. I found the bars page but not the group.

Sexy swingers closer to our age - 20-30 year old sexy swingers - Hi. So we are in our late 20's and have realized there are not many other people our age active on here. If you're in your 20's, 30's or 40's, drop us a line below, or feel free to slide our DM's ;)