Crockett Swingers in California

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Black Ring, Right Hand - How to tell if someone's a swinger - [quote=EVILDOERS]OMG! Just had a client walk in and notice my black tungsten wedding ring (I've had one for a couple of years now.) He told me that it I were to wear it on my right hand it would indicate I was gay. [/quote] There are some gays who wear their wedding rings on their right hands (solidarity against "the man" who doesn't let them marry, etc.) -- but "black" isn't a specific thing in the gay community as far as I can tell from some quick research. The middle finger on the right hand is apparently reserved for the asexuals. (People who aren't interested in sex). Although given that there are roughly 8 such people in the United States, I wouldn't stress too much over being confused with that community. If this gets any more complex, we're going to need a right-hand-ring governing body. =) I view the black-ring on a swinger-looking couple as the final checkbox of "oh.. yup.. definitely swingers... look.. both wearing black rings on the right hand". If I just saw a random person with a black ring on a right finger, I wouldn't think anything of it. I would just like to see it become more of a thing in Utah, like it is elsewhere in the country. =) My wife and I wear ours when we go out together for date-night... otherwise we don't bother with them. I know none of this will stop folks from screaming and yelling at how ridiculous it is -- But if you ARE going to scream and yell, don't forget to continuously remind as many people as possible how much credibility you have on the matter because you used to swing with the Flinstones. (On our swingers cruise recently, we DID enjoy the many stories from the elderly about what it was like to swing before the days of the internet... so this thread has become a bit like a free tropical vacation, in that sense!).

Disabled Swingers - - I WOLF am disabled, Dont feel that way, am told that, Feel sorry for me? Ya better not! Would I not be just as quick in a fight? my disability hold me back?? I and anybody that knows me, knows not! Twobears,Deannas so friggin hot!..lol, I was disabled when I owned a biker bar in San Diego, (some brawls did I think about my spine getting twisted??..YES!) Cast iron barstools across my back, Poolsticks...yada yada, They all lost! But tell ya what!, im still alive and well in Utah after some rebuilding! Do I have the same heart? no. BUT spirit never dies! What I believe in, be it in San Diego,NYC,or Utah, Everyone that isnt't disabled, better keep up with me! WOLF Union Ironworker(ret)local 229 San Diego, Los Angeles, Las Vegas, Boston, Vermont(Burlington, Middlebury), New York City

What about the lifestyle didn't meet your expectations? - Preconceptions and disappointment. - I'm home bored, so stop here if you don't want to read a bunch of shite. lol. I think we both entered the lifestyle with some preconceived notions of what the people in the LS would be like, but that was mostly from our limited experience with being vanilla and having LS peeps try to hit on us. It just seemed creepy, desperate and gross at the time. We assumed most of the players would be super aggressive, ready to fuck anyone and have zero interest in relationships outside of sex. Our initial entry was simply to watch and be watched. We quickly learned that there are just as many wonderful people in the LS as out of it. Maybe more. There will always be the outliers, the few percentage on each end of the spectrum that are more extreme, but that happens in any population. Overall, it was a happy surprise. So that would be a negative expectation that wasn't met. As far as things we were hoping would happen or expectation that weren't met, we have very few. But we also went into the labyrinth without really expecting or assuming anything. I don't think we were naive enough to think that this segment of the population was somehow immune from the social characteristics that reveal themselves in any other social class or group. You will always have the "cool kids" the "shy people" the "jocks" the "geeks" the people who classify themselves as the "pity party" and blame the world for their problems. Those things will exist anywhere and should. Swingers are a diverse group of people with a few, maybe very few, common goals. Those goals I think are to meet others with social deviancy and those interested in expanding their sexual experiences or simply to meet new friends. Swinging, in itself, doesn't solidify your beliefs in anything else (politics, food preferences, choice of travel location, or even how or what you are looking for as swingers). I think that is where expectations can fail. If a person goes into a situation thinking, "I/we think "x" so everyone else must think "x" as well", they are bound to be disappointed. I've said this a lot of times, the lifestyle is not black and white. Life isn't black and white. There will be frustrations around every turn if you allow yourself to be duped into thinking your way of thinking is more than just your viewpoint, that it is universal to everyone. I see people complaining of flakes, people who meet once then run away, etc. That's how they roll. That's their truth. It's what they are comfortable with or wanting and who am I to judge. That being said, I don't have to associate with them and hopefully learn how to avoid that situation or become more efficient at finding people with similar interests. The lifestyle is work. Sometimes a lot of work. I think it's foolish to think that it should be easy to find 4 people who all jive. Think about how many people you have dated before settling on the right one for you. And to assume that somehow changes in the lifestyle and that after chatting on kik for a few weeks then meeting over drinks will somehow magically connect you. Ugh. Sometimes it happens. Sometimes not. But I wouldn't expect it. For others, the thought of any connection past the one-nighter is absurd. Why would you want to make friends with your fuck-buddies? It may be too risky and cause too many emotions. Point is, we are all different and that is what makes the journey so beautiful. And, just a note about flakes, since it is a recurrent theme. Yes, maybe there are more flakes in the lifestyle, but I'm guessing it's specifically related to the nature of the LS. Swinging for some can be very intimidating and frightening. Sometimes the chase is much more fun than the fucking. Not excusing them that do flake, it seems a problem for sure, but I think I understand, at least in part, why it happens so much. There is so much social pressure not to be in the lifestyle and most were brought up without it being the normal way to live. So society is telling us we are wrong, gross, deviant, etc. Add to that the fear of actually getting naked and fucking someone else and it can cause a lot of anxiety in some. When we first started we were petrified to even go the parties thinking it was going to be a fuck/rape fest. lol. Turned out we were wrong but it was a learning process. Lastly, if you are already treading carefully and the couple/person you are supposed to be meeting gives off any bad vibes, maybe flaking is best. It's hard not to hurt someone's feelings and honesty isn't always what happens. I know we have been honest with couples and it turned into a shit-show. Why don't you like us? If you only meet us and give us a chance we can prove we are wonderful. Other's like us, why don't you. It's hard to be honest at times about why there isn't a connection. May flaking be a way to spare feelings? I don't know. There are probably a plethora (Hefe, do you know what a plethora is?)of reasons people flake and some of those my be that they are just douches. But likely there are other people that aren't and are just trying to get out of a situation they are unfamiliar with. Avoid the douches but maybe give those others a second chance. Evil: always good topics you bring to the table. So you think because people like sex they should be good at it? I know a lot of people who love food but suck at cooking. haha. Maybe having too many options on the table can also make people lazy. I don't have to try hard if I know tomorrow is another partner. To some it's the quantity and not the quality. But I can see why the expectation would be there. All in all we really have no complaints. It's been a fascination journey. Some ups, some downs, but always and adventure. We will keep our expectations low, both of ourselves and those around us. Less disappointment that way. I'm going back to sitting in my underwear, drinking a beer and watching TV. Zero expectations. haha. :) Mr. SRO

Swingfest - Hollywood Florida! - We were hoping to go, as we know a couple from the NYC area coming down, and we would love to meet some fellow swingers from this site. July has been a rough month financially for us, so we shall see. If we get there, we hope to see a lot of you! Ron & Chrissy

While the Wife is Away The Husband Will Play?? - - Ya know, I have traveled out of town alone and could have played with my wifes permission, but when I have contacted a couple I got pretty much the "yea right" response. We have received e-mails just like mine and kinda have responded the same way. So I gave it up and that was ok. So as I would sit in my room in some exciting city drinking alone reading this forum (how pathetic!) I came to the conclusion, I just wanted to hang out with swingers. Its not that I even really wanted to hook up just wanted to meet some locals and who better than with this group? C.

Carnival Breeze Sept 13 - - We will be going on our second swingers cruise, the Independence Of The Seas Swingers Cruise - Nov 2014. We had a great time on our last one.

The New Yorker - An LS Friendly Club in SLC - We are new to the lifestyle and looking to find a monthly or weekly meet and greet or private themed events for swingers in Salt Lake. We live in Herriman not sure if there is anything in South of the valley. We are a mixed Latin White couple 51 years old and looking to make some long term relationships with like minded individuals. I see there is some type private group but not sure how that works.

Disabled Swingers - - I am the male half of a couple. I am also disabled and in a wheelchair. Add to that I am new to the lifestyle. Shelley my other half is a gorgeous BBW (on the smaller side of BBW). She was very active in the lifestyle prior to us getting married. We have had a couple threesomes in the beginning of our relationship. Now after 12 years of marriage I am finally secure enough in our relationship for us to become active again. Yet we are finding it very difficult to actually find folks to play with and or parties that are accessible to my chair. We have had folks online come right out and tell us that if it was not for me being in a wheelchair they would have no problem meeting us. Heck we even had one couple come right out and ask me if Shelley would be willing to play solo cause they did not want to have anything to do with someone in a wheelchair (not from here). So I guess what my question is, is there actually active disabled folks in the lifestyle and are there non disabled couples willing to get together with those of us who might have physical challenges. Or am I just going to be constantly rolling uphill? Jeff

Why so much hate in the swingers world... - - "pecksniffian" lol I would go break out the scrabble dictionary for that one but you dont want to appear too self righteous. JIM