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Vanilla friends / lifestyle - revealing our lifestyle to longtime friends -
T4REAL69,
There will always be those that are quick to pass judgement on others. We choose not to bother ourselves with people like that. We are no ashamed of who we are, nor are we scared of any of our friends or family finding out. As you can tell by my actions on these forums, I (Don), do not live my likes based upon what others think of me. I could give a fuck less. The people I love and live for already know, love and accept me. I say why bother wasting your time with people that suffer from delusions of being holier than thou. They can fuck off.
I see it as a "need to know" situation. If our friends are indeed in the "need to know", we tell them. If we see potential in involving them, we bring them along to a party. If they have an issue and try and force their morals, we cut our losses. What's cool is now nearly all of our friends are swingers or swinger friendly. So it's really no longer an issue.
Think about this. If a person... your "friend" were to say, "Swinging isn't right". Could you not just say, "What makes it wrong?" After all, you are not forcing them to do it. It maybe wrong for them. How is that wrong for you? It doesn't involve them at all. If they are so concerned with what you do in the bedroom, perhaps they are not basing the friendship on the things that really matter. They are not true friends.
-Don-
"Ich habe einen kleinen Vogel in meinem Kopf."
Note: Best if viewed with Microsoft Internet Explorer version 7The vent! - Judgements, I'm so tired of them. - On judgments:
My wife and I were in the lifestyle for many years. She died 5 years ago of cancer and was the love of my life. It has been very hard for me as we were married for 34 years. Many of our friends were swingers because, as others have found, those not involved in the lifestyle often have negative judgmental attitudes. We made many friends.
After she died I was supported by my friends but I was no longer invited to parties. For a while that was fine because I wasn't ready. But since I've tried to renew my lifestyle activities, I've found that I am no longer welcome. Why? Because I'm a single male. Forget that my wife and I were involved in the lifestyle up in Seattle, forget the many times we hosted parties at our house, my wife's death made me a pariah to other swingers.
I really do not understand this. I'm still the same person. I'm discrete, clean, disease and drug free, I'm not pushy and no always means no. I guess I do not understand why all of a sudden I'm no longer welcome at parties i used to attend.
Yes, many people not in the lifestyle judge those of us who are. But a large number of people in the lifestyle are just as judgmental, only they pretend that they are not.
Christain Swingers? - - WOW CODA Always room for open minded discussion but that was pretty harsh comparison.
I was on Church Council, the Catholic School board (as president for several years), the Catholic Youth Organization, a room dad (that goodness for a great employer), and rarely if ever missed a field trip. So YES, they can mix and YES I think a fellow board member and her husband were also swingers.
We had gone to church for years with swinger friends and 1/3 of the people at the First Communion of their youngest child were swingers.
NOT MILDLY suggesting that our way was the only way but it CAN work.
GREAT Topic
Butterfinger commercial - Was that a swinger add? - Absolutely thought it was a swingers ad.
Secret Swingers Club Ogden, UT - Clubs - It’s open to the public, so yes if you meet the dress code and show up you will be accepted in. It isn’t exclusive to LS and there will definitely be a mix of vanilla in there too.
Reject Affair Match - Cheaters are not swingers - Hmm.
Yeah. What can I say. I've been through the "Swinging, inappropriate relationships, cheating, Divorce" route.
Now, that said, it ALWAYS takes 2 to tango and cheating is usually a symptom of a larger problem between 2 people. If you're having those problems in your relationship, you shouldn't be Swinging anyway! Either that or just end your relationship and stop hurting yourselves and those around you.
However, I think it's a pretty cheap shot to undercut what many of us consider to be the "values" of this lifestyle by advertising this site.
That's my opinion. But we make our stand pretty clear to those we play with! And it's pretty easy to spot the "unfaithfuls" once you know the tricks they use.
-Mr. K_T
swing parties information - Meet and Greet - Looking for a swingers club or private swingers party in the Chattanooga area whenever one will be happening. Any information would be greatly appreciated. You can leave me information on here or my own e-mail address at destinytw at hotmail dot com. Thanks, Tammy
MAIL - people that never answer you back - And its not only happening in the USA, but here in Europe too. We experienced several unreplied emails. In our small country we sometimes think; Hey, they know us from something else and are afraid to tell they swingers too!
Bea and Alex:)
Where are the Midwest Swingers? - - I agree. It is almost impossible to find anyone from Illinois or Missouri in the chat rooms, let alone anyone that wants to chat with a single male. Everyday I go into the chat hoping that there is someone local to chat with, and come up empty. I do value the chats that I have with other members from the western and southern states, but it is so hard to find a topic to talk about in detail besides sports, the weather, or the economy. Most people dont come in here to chat about how cold it is outside.
Ugly people and swinging - - A few years ago we met our first "swingers." They were in their 50's, overweight, and not attractive. We eventually met more of their friends who were equally overweight and not attractive. They were always trying to entice us to participate in their "swinging" activities. It seemed as if all these couples lost interest in each other and just wanted some other person besides their own partner to fuck. They were always looking to trade up and we were the outcasts for not participating. The overweight ugly people always hide behind "inner beauty" and "connection." Sorry, I don't get it. My girl doesn't get it even more than me.
I'm aware that ugly people need love too. It's great when two ugly couples can come together and eventually....come together. You know who you are. Or at least others know who you are.
Attraction is everything in this lifestyle. Standards vary not only from couple to couple but person to person. Think about it: It's absolutely amazing that you found someone that isn't completely disgusted by you and vice versa. The odds of finding another couple that BOTH of you are into are astronomical.
I think a lot of people in this lifestyle just "settle" for what's available, in turn lowering the collective standard. Don't be afraid to reject a couple if one of them is unattractive. Your partner will appreciate this.
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