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Swingers - a couples only lifestyle? - Are singles considered to be swingers? - The above comments are very interesting, and do promote thinking about how it all began.
I grew up during the time when 'swapping' was just starting to catch hold. Swappers were married couples, and they did indeed swap partners. Single people were called 'swingers' at that time as they had many partners for sex. Basically singles did not have a steady relationhship with just one partner. An unmarried couple could be swingers, as they could go their separate ways at any time. A married couple did not easily have the option to go separate ways, so they remain swappers unless they got a divorce. Keep in mind that the two terms applied only to those that actively sought out new sex partners, and did not apply to the population in general.
Over time, perhaps about 1965-1969, the word 'swapper' became a bit derogatory, so the married ones adopted the word 'swinger' as it seemed to be more lively and exciting sounding. Thus they moved into word usage territory of the singles. Today both singles and couples share the word.
The meaning of words and their application change over time in the America language. As an example, the word 'Queer' changed to 'Fag' and later to 'Gay'. It took from about 1940 until about 1988 for the word 'queer' to evolve into 'gay'. It's still the same people, just a different word has been adopted that sounds more happy and exciting.
To say a single man looking to get laid is not a swinger, but a single lady looking to get laid is a swinger is totally wrong. Both are either horney, or both are swingers. There can be no distinction between the two.
So, where does that leave us? Today both singles and married couples share the word equally. That is, unless the American language is evolving again. Perhaps the word 'Humming Bird' (going from flower to flower for nectar) will become the singles new description.
Here's something Ive been curious about - - Congrats on 10 years in the lifestyle, SLOW. We're old timers as well and have been doing this off and on since shortly after we got married. Over 25 years now! So I guess I can sort of see both points of view and contrary to the current rather negative societal attitude towards political correctness I have no trouble being firmly on the side of being kind to people and not labeling or belittling anyone regarding their participation in the lifestyle. Having said that, however, I can also see the viewpoint of some couples since when we first started swinging there really were no singles (or at least so few that we never met any) actively participating in the lifestyle. A few years later we met a few singles who would, say, hire a hooker to gain access to parties and events or sometimes convince a friend to act as sort of a swinging "beard" if you will, again to gain entry to swinging events. This was all pre-internet so connecting was considerably more difficult than it is now. To say that the internet changed swinging (for better or worse) is a HUGE understatement. I was talking to a guy (formerly single but now in a couple) recently about his experiences as both a SM and a couple in the lifestyle. His attitude had actually changed dramatically. It reminded me of former smokers who now are militantly anti-smoking. His argument (now that he's no longer single) was to take the couples and the singles and put them on separate websites and what do you have? He said you have a swingers site and a hookup site. I told him that there are some couples who actually seek out singles over other couples but he wasn't easily dissuaded. One final point he made that I thought perhaps was a valid point...he said when he first started out as a SM in swinging he thought that all or most of the married guys who enjoyed seeing their wives getting fucked were basically cuckolds or at very least not real men. He said it took him many years and a lot of different experiences to lose that mindset. He also said that now that he's part of a couple who is frequently contacted by single guys he sees that attitude (because he recognizes it from when he had it) far more often than not. He stated that he would guess that the VAST majority of those single guys who don't "get it", the bad apples if you will, the ones who ruin it for the few good guys have that attitude and mindset. He said that's why there will probably always be somewhat of a schism between singles and couples. Whew, that was a long fucking post. Hope it made sense. No more herb before posting, Mr. Evil! LOL
BUSTED! Your Kids Found Out Your Swingers. Now What? - - My family (both sides) knows bits and pieces. I've basically let them know that it's our business not theirs and left it at that. We went thru a phase where they weren't very nice about certain things, but now they mostly keep their opinions to themselves on that issue. *shrugs*
Anyone else getting sick of clubs - - It is why I joined a pretty exclusive group in Chicago. We meet in a private home...there are no fees...all members are checked ahead of time and all are experienced swingers who want to play and are attractive. I LOVE IT! I exclusively swing there, with people I meet there or if recommended by friends I swing with there.
LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Go turn on Oprah - re:swingers - It is 12:30 here in Utah and I can't find it coming up on any of my Satellite channels. Too bad we were really hoping to catch it.
swingin - thought this site was a swingers site - You have to love the forums. They truly bring out the 'best' in people. What better way to know what lives below the superficial covering we put forth in our profiles. Keep it up ;)
motorcycle rides - - We enjoy riding. Swingers ride would be fun. We are going on a ride this afternoon.
A party in Naples - anyone interested - Well we would LOVE to since Naples is our home town of 20 years!!! Unfortunately we won't be visiting then and we are moving to NC in 2 weeks! Anyone wanna welcome some Utah swingers to the great state of NC???
D and B
P.S. Beard...one day, yes we will meet :-)
Hall pass - - Cheaters don't tell there other half, where swingers go home and brag off the experience.
We're Back!!! - Hi there! - Makes me wonder how many viable, sincere hits you two get with such a specific search criteria. You don’t consider yourselves “swingers”, but you’re on a swinger site looking for an exclusive relationship… from my own personal experience and from what I’ve seen with others, this type of relationship with another couple burns short but bright. I always caution couples we know when they come across other couples that change their minds from a sexy fun friendship to trying to back them into a serious “exclusive” relationship… excluding all other friends they’ve made in this LS along the way. It can be a drama filled and painful road. I’m sure of the 6 couples you’ve dated over the years you can attest to that if you’re being 💯 honest to yourselves.
This type of relationship should be (imo) found organically and mutually if that’s what it ends up being… Saying you want to be exclusive with a potential swinger couple from the start, while upfront and honest, can sound forced and rigid. Some of the stories of possessiveness between couples just sound absurd to us given the LS they’ve chosen.
In any case, good luck with your search.
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