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Translating Personals/Swingers Ads - - HOW TO TRANSLATE PERSONAL ADS:
WOMEN'S ADS
40-ish...................................49
Adventurer...........................Slept with all your friends
Athletic................................No boobs
Average looking...................Has a face like a basset hound
Beautiful...............................Pathological liar
Contagious Smile..................Does a lot of Ecstasy
Educated..............................Banged her Political Science professor
Emotionally Secure...............Medicated
Feminist...............................Fat ballbuster
Free spirit............................Junkie
Friendship first.....................Trying to live down reputation as a slut
Fun......................................Annoying
Gentle..................................Comatose
Good Listener......................Borderline Autistic
New-Age............................All body hair, all the time
Old-fashioned......................Lights out, missionary position only, no BJs
Open-minded......................Desperate
Outgoing..............................Loud and Embarrassing
Passionate............................Sloppy drunk
Poet.....................................Depressive Schizophrenic
Professional..........................Certified Bitch
Redhead...............................Bad dye-job
Reubenesque........................Grossly Fat
Romantic..............................Looks better by candle light
Social...................................Has been passed around like an hors d'oeuvres tray
Voluptuous...........................Very Fat
Height/weight proportional....Hugely Fat
Wants Soulmate...................Stalker
Widow.................................Drove first husband to shoot himself
Young at heart. ....................Old bat
--------
MEN'S ADS
40-ish.....................................52 and looking for 25-yr-old
Athletic...................................Watches a lot of NASCAR
Average looking......................Unusual hair growth on ears, nose, & back
Educated................................Will patronize the shit out of you
Free Spirit..............................Banging your sister
Friendship first.......................As long as friendship involves nookie
Fun........................................Good with a remote and a six pack
Good looking.........................Arrogant
Very good looking..................Dumb as a board
Honest....................................Pathological Liar
Huggable................................Overweight, more body hair than a bear
Likes to cuddle.......................Insecure mama's boy
Mature...................................Older than your father
Open-minded.........................Wants to sleep with your roommate but she's not interested
Physically fit............................Does a lot of 12-ounce curls
Poet.......................................Wrote ex-girlfriend's phone number on a bathroom stall
Sensitive.................................Cries at chick flicks
Very sensitive.........................Gay
Spiritual..................................Got laid in a cemetery once
Stable.....................................Arrested for stalking, but not convicted
Thoughtful...............................Says "Excuse me" when he farts
What would you do? - what does a person do when their spouse no longer wishes to paticipate - There have been a lot of valid and reasonable points made. My fiancee and I are swingers, and we enjoy seeing each other with the same sex, as well as, the opposite sex. We have sat down and discussed it at great lengths. Like Tequila stated, it is recreational, it does not define our relationship. We like to meet as a couple, and we play as a couple, never separately. That is us, and how we swing.
I agree that they must sit down and discuss it. Not sure about the counseling. I think they work it out between themselves.
I wish them the best!
Ron
KUTV News Story on Swingers - News - Y'all calm down, take a deep breath, swallow a Xanex or some other preferred object, and pull out your favorite battery powered appliance. This happens every few years and NOTHING ever comes of it. A few years back, City Weekly actually got a couple of reporters into a local swingers party ... and judging from the otherwise rather dismissive article, if you read between the lines, they might have actually had a good time. But the shrouds of secrecy never came down after that, Moroni was still facing east, and we all went about our deviant ways. I would like to say no one cares. But there are the Gayle Ruzika busybodies of the world who care ... because we are having so much more fun than they can ever possibly have. They have been around since the Inquisition. And probably always will be. But remember, in the end it is about how you feel about yourself. And in this day and age, you can exercise your constitutional right to use your middle finger.
Young swingers party - sold out, who still wants to party ? - [quote=LOOKIN4FUN369][quote=CHEFFETTE][quote=LOOKIN4FUN369]We are getting off of track of what this post was created for, it wasn't to make fun or the party or who is attending age limitations. it's was to see who would want to party for those who can't attend due to it being sold out. [/quote]
I thought the point of RECON's post was that if age is being verified prior to tickets going out, it isn't actually sold out.[/quote]
I doubt they verify the age, just took the money and ran lol [/quote]
That would be a brilliant way to make a bunch of quick cash off the oldsters, promise they'd be surrounded by nubile youngsters, then shrug your shoulders when it's mostly a wrinkle-palooza of 60-something men who'd have to admit they lied their way in.
Please Share ;) How did you come up with your handle? - - Our profile name was thought up very carefully. We put a lot of creativity and time into our profile name. After many agonizing days of trying to get our damn name right we thought this had to be THE ONE!............
HA HA HA HA! We actually typed in things like "utcple" and "funcple" and so on and so forth but everything was taken. SO we live in UT and we wanted everyone to remember us........and it is a swingers site......and my husband is a man-whore.... so what other name would we chose?... SLUT!!!!!! Too bad we don't live up to the name........LOL!
Sorry, not too creative here!
xo UTSLUTS
Swingers Vacation Spots - Help us - We really want to hit up Hedo.. I see everyone say nothing good about Hedo Plus anywhere that is clothing optional is a kick ass place to be!
Family Swingular Members - OMFG and you do a search and see a close family member on the list..... - I could handle an ex or some extended family members being swingers but my parents or my child? Yuck....I would loose my lunch...lol.
Swingers cars??? - What ya driving?? - Black Lincoln MKX
Sexy New Year's Photos - Post up ur sexy NYE or NY pics! - Speaking of gnomes, I only just recently heard that having a garden gnome in your yard can be sign to others that you’re swingers ... who knew 🤷♂️
Christain Swingers? - - Guess our only comment would be what is the definition of being a Christian? If you believe in GOD and in Christ, but you do things that are contrary to the moral beliefs... doesnt that just make you a sinner ? We believe strongly in the teachings of our religion... attend church on a regular basis and maintain a fairly good standing in our area. However, we do have our other life which is contrary to our beliefs and we accept there will be consequiences we will have to pay some day for that lifestyle. We just accept it. We need both sides in our lives and we have found a good balance that is very satisfying.
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