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Discretion, the better part of valor - I love that saying - It's a tough one. Women will ALWAYS get more action here than men. Sex is theirs when it comes to power and control. The "you can only get as much as I can get" has never worked for us. But our situation is a little different in that I travel a ton for work so when I'm home I can't see spending what little time I have with someone else. And being on the road, I don't have time to get any action. So the equality in playing separate isn't there. As a result, Mrs. Sexperimentor doesn't play without me unless it's another woman. That's her choice and a bone thrown to equality, which I appreciate. As for the issue of not playing because you're afraid you'll run into a playmate in your vanilla life... To me that's horse pucky. The person you run into will be at just as much risk as you of being "outed". You'll have a lot more in common than a whole lot of other people you meet. And if you have a little discretion about who you play with, you'll have similar attitudes on how to conduct yourselves in a vanilla situation. Actually, I don't think we have EVER, in all the years we've been doing this, just run into anyone we've played with. There are people we've known to be swingers but haven't played with that we've run into, one lady I run into frequently, but life in the lifestyle has never even been discussed in vanilla settings. I hope this isn't your situation, but the last couple I knew that would play separately but not together, with a story told essentially the same way you told yours, didn't end well. She was more interested in having other romantic relationships than she was in maintaining her marriage. Frankly, while playing without my wife is fun, and we share the tales and details afterward, I'd really rather play as a couple. Our playing together has enhanced our relationship and that's what I'd encourage you to do. Mr. Sexperimentors

Single male in this lifestyle.. - I have questions for couples and single females. - Heya Josh. These are all extremely well thought out responses. Take them to heart. I'd also like to add that quite a few couples opt to have the man from a friendly, familiar, and secure couple fill the role of the second man from time to time. Most of the people here have healthy, loving, and established lives with someone they trust deeply. The less in-roads for unstable elements, the better. Don't take it personally. When I was active as part of a couple screening all the single men was a chore. There is an unfortunately well-deserved stigma tied to single men in this scene. Many figure that swingers are an easy lay and end up simply being a nuisance, or worse, a creep or downright menace. Disrespect and deception abound. That's not a personal knock as I don't know ya. Be smart. Be respectful. Don't fret if you're not a hot commodity. It's the nature of the scene.

Creating an Amazing Swingers Profile - How to market yourself better - [quote=BMSHELL]I think my advice above boils down to: 1) Be honest.. Don't try to mislead people about who or what you are. 2) Make an effort to give others a chance to get to know you and trust you. 3) Don't be gross. And this stuff is nothing more than my opinion.. While I would love a world where everyone is required to agree with me, that probably won't happen for at least 5 more years, if things continue to go well. ;)[/quote]What'd people beat up on you for your suggestions or something? [em]Emo_54[/em] I liked 'em and thought them useful. Our profile used to include mostly goofiness -- but then that was OK 'cause that's pretty much been our approach to this whole swingin' thing. It's not all that important in the scheme of things and seems to always work out best for us if we don't take it or ourselves too seriously. We're pretty comfy with where we're at now with friends and all -- so I've toned it down to reflect that but if I were back into a voracious hunt again I'd certainly take your remarks into consideration. Good stuff! :)

This one time at Swingers Camp - Discussion about N by N camp out - Another fantastic adult camp out is in the bag. I enjoyed seeing quite a few of my old friends and making some new ones. See you all again next year.

Is it a “preference” or is it “ discrimination” - - [quote=massageBBCguy][quote=VANESSA_BABY][quote=massageBBCguy]Omg.. seriously? Ok. I am really getting tired of all this.. if you don’t then you are a racist. Ok swingers and single.. let’s push Congress to re-amend the 1964 Civil rights act to create a new cause of action “Failure to fuck a minority” and create a federal regulation requiring members to post “I am an Equal Opportunity Swinger”.. I hope this helps. Ugh...[/quote] I’m not saying because they are not getting fucked I get plenty fucked. I think you mis understood me.[/quote]Cause of Action is the reason for a lawsuit.. well here ——-A cause of action, in law, is a set of facts sufficient to justify a right to sue to obtain money, property, or the enforcement of a right against another part—— “Failure to fuck” doesn’t really mean you are not getting plenty of sex.. it means for example.. “Failure to hire” against a white employer.. a “failure to fuck” against white swinger. I hope that helps.[/quote] It’s funny cause you have hit me up a couple of times

How close is too close - - I think that the question poses a number of possibilities... If only one person is starting to feel something beyond sexual attraction then that person should step back and examine why they are feeling this way. If it is only one way then the person who is having the feelings needs to take stock of the reality of the situation and realize the potential problems involved. If the situation is mutual and noone else realizes it then the two involved need to discuss it... and they both have to weigh the situation. Why is this happening and are the possible ramifications worth the risks involved... If it is possible talk about it with everyone concerned and make a determination as to what needs to be done. I've actually heard about a situation where a couple split over a swinging situation and the lady from the one couple went with the guy from the other couple and the gal from the other couple went with the husband of the woman that went with her husband.. A real twist on the concept of swapping.... Being poly may put a totally different slant on how I look at this problem... since I am involved with a married woman. My wife and her husband are not poly... The other couple are not swingers and we are very good friend as couples... and everyone knows about she and I. It's very difficult to explain to anyone how this works but it does and it can..... So I have a unique perspective on love and swinging... or just married people and love between non married people in married situations. I would generally say, however, that swingers should not get into love situations unless you and your mate and the other couple can handle this situation.. If a love relationship starts to happen run don't walk to the nearest exit and don't turn around. Just possibilities .. There are quite a few poly people involved iin swinging...including some of the older people entering into swinging... They are looking to expand their sexual and love relationships as well. THere are also younger people in the lifestyle who are poly.. The subject has come up a surprising number of times of various swinger sites... So if you're not poly and start to feel love for someone other than you mate... Assess you first as to why... but regardless, if you love your mate....get away fromo that particular situation... Ray

Swingers In Uniform - Pay your memorial day respects here. - Um, Red Hun. I completely get all the points in your post but the one thing that that jumped under my skin, is the statement that this Don Juan asshole is a "fucking" Democrat based on his fucked up views. My husband (and others in my family) serve(d) in the military too and WE ARE DEMOCRATS. Being one, I do not agree with the shit he said in his post and it serves him right for the backlashing that he received for what he said. I completely support our our troops and is very grateful for what they did and are still doing. I also know plenty of Dem. who feel the same way I do, just as I know a few Rep. who has that dickwads same point of view. But to place him in our category in such a derogative way, offends me. Its like saying "Oh shit, you smell like a wet dog when you get out the shower...You must be white" or "Damn, your nose is big...You must be black". See how offensive that is. Not to spark a heated thing in this positive thread, I just wanted to let you know. Now back to our regularly scheduled thread...lol Plain and simple...We don't wanna claim him....try pushing his ass off onto another group... :p

Why so much hate in the swingers world... - - ULUV, HAHAHA!!! Never had it. Is it any good? Oh and dude, if you change your fuckin' name, I won't respect you anymore. Fuck 'em, if they don't like it. I think it suits you and to tell you the truth man, I think it's a fuckin pimp assed name. You are who you are. That I do respect. I've read a lot of your posts and I have to say, you are a smart and funny dude, built like a brick shithouse and got pics to prove the ladies like ya. I think you never even needed this thread. You are one of the cool ones dude. I don't know if that means anything, but I would recommend you to our friends seeking the single gents. Guys like you T4REAL69, VALANCEPARADIGM (forgive me if I left any of you guys out) and a few others, proved to me that not all of you single guys are cocky, pushy, selfish fucks. You ever get this way, let's have a beer. Bring one though because the beer here sucks. Only state in the union that has 3.2 percent by weight beer (about 4% by volume). It's weak as fuck. That's a whole new Utah-based thread. -D-

New to this all - - Single guys don't exactly have an easy time of it in the swinging world. It's made up mostly of couples with the occasional Unicorn (single female), and many couples have a "we're trading, but you're not providing the female part of the trade" attitude, which goes all the way back to when what is now called swinging was called wife swapping. And the vast majority of couples who are interested in inviting a single person to play with them are looking for a female, not a male. There just aren't very many people looking for a single male, and there are tons of single guys looking to be involved. So the numbers are against you. Besides that, it's hard for a single male to meet people. They're allowed to attend only a very, very few parties and/or events unless they have a female with them. Even the male half of a known swinging couple often isn't welcome if the female half isn't with him. He may be in a couple, but without the woman he's just another single guy. Your best chance at someone being interested in you is online at a site like this. But, again, there are gazillions more single males than there are people looking for them, so the competition is pretty tough. To be a "winner", you usually need to be relatively young, pretty good looking, and fairly fit. Unlike in the outside world, what the guy looks like is more important than what the girl looks like. So if you want to generate any interest, you have to post pics. And while nudes are a good idea if you have the body for it, straight dick pics are not, unless it's 10 inches long or something. And even then it might be a turn off more than a turn on for lots of people. If you don't have any pics of yourself posted, those difficult odds you face morph into impossible odds. If you do manage to attend any parties or events, chill. Don't be aggressive. Single males have a rep for assuming that any woman at a swinger's function wants to jump into the sack with them. From what I've seen, most single males aren't really like that, but enough are that single guys get labelled as a group, so the best way to behave is as if the woman you're talking to is someone you just met at some "normal" party. The only real difference between a swinging woman and a "normal" woman, whether she's single or in a couple, is that she doesn't think that it's necessary to be in some kind of a relationship with someone in order to have sex. Female swingers are just as selective as women in general, and while her presence at a swinging party does mean she's interested in sex, she might not be interested right then, or she might not be interested in you. And a good way to turn that interest off if it's there is to act like it's a given that she wants you. The most important thing to remember is that it's always up to the woman. Whether anything happens, and if it does just what happens, is her decision. So post some pics, be just as respectful to any swinger women you might meet as you would be to any non-swinger woman and if she's part of a couple be respectful to her man, and good luck.

Swingers cars??? - What ya driving?? - Gremlin! Lucky! Those cars are awesome, but I guess you already know that!