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Monogamy in marriage - An interesting article on the subject - I think the number one reason that a marriage goes off track is the lack of communication. It could show up in fights over money, one or the other cheating because their needs are not taken care of in the marriage, or just about any of the rocks that so many couples run into along the path of married life. One reason I think that swingers tend to be happier and more secure is because without good, open communication swinging can be a minefield. Most that stay in the lifestyle for any amount of time learn to communicate better with each other than many others that do not have the experience of sharing. This summer we'll have been married 35 years so I guess it works :-) Diane & Max

Skicouple - Going beyond flirt with delicious vanilla - I (female) have a very flirtatious relationship with my chiropractor. Sometimes I wonder if he and his wife are also in the lifestyle, because his flirting is so "forward". I know enough about his wife to say that my husband would love to play with her. Would love to see some suggestions on how to approach the subject of asking him if he and his wife are swingers. I certainly do not want to make the guy think that I am suggesting an affair or a random fuck...

The Vent part II - Secrecy - I once heard it put *I dont grow potatos where I get my meat*, I prefer to say *I dont play in my own backyard*. I know... I'm just one of *those* single men. You know, it doesnt sound like you give your *vanilla* friends much credit. You assume *they* would not enjoy a local *off premise* swingers club. Have you ever sat your vanilla friends down and talk to them (feel them out so to speak), to see if they are looking for ways to *spice* up their relationship? I've taken many *vanilla* women to the local swinger clubs. Ok, so some wont go back, but others are like *wow, that was fun!! I'm not into swinging and swapping, but these people are great!* Here in the Dallas / Ft Worth area, the lifestyle is HOT and happening! There are at least 7 off premise clubs, and as many on premise clubs. Plus many swingers in the area prefer going to the *vanilla* clubs to pick up men, women, and other couples. In MHO, IF, and I say IF, you go to a swinger club hoping/looking/expecting to pick up someone, I feel you've gone for the wrong reason. Go to have fun, meet new people, network, and IF you find someone at the club you enjoy being with, then I'm sure *as they say here in Texas* ya'll are going to have some swapping fun.... And yes, I have been part of a couple, with a few different women. Why am I not still a couple with any of them? They seem to start really getting into the lifestyle, and then they realize they're having too much fun, and scare themselves out of it. Oh yeah, and I'm the asshole single male, the most unwanted animal in the lifestyle. lol

Swingers In Uniform - Pay your memorial day respects here. - Dipshit Quixote wrote: Btw, to all of you who obviously missed me, my weekend was pretty good, thanks. I went to something called Playa Del Fuego... (look it up, if you like). Great event; they even allow people with IQs too low to measure -------------------------------------------------- That's why "The legend in his own mind", Mr Quixote showed up. Damn DJQ, get a life man. I have been reading your posts for awhile now. It is painfully obvious that you stir shit up because you have no social life man. GET OFF THE COUCH!!!!! You don't piss me off anymore. You make me pity you. You are sorry. No matter what you say now, I'm just gonna look and say, "tsk tsk." Do yourself a favor. Walk to the nearest sink, fill it with water, stick your head in it and inhale really deep. It'll take the pain away. Oh and quit trying to sound like you are this stud scholar we're all suppose to be impressed by, with your "witty" replies. Your obvious delusions of grandeur are seriously underminding your plans to impress us all. The self-implied education & culture coupled with your personality deficiencies make you a charity case. I don't wanna yell anymore, I wanna motivate you to get off your couch and go meet people in person. It might help the "Single Guy" thing as well. Sincerely, A Better Man

Swinger & 🦄 Bait - An experiment to attract swingers and unicorns. - The unicorn bait would have definitely caught my eye. :)

Black Ring, Right Hand - How to tell if someone's a swinger - [quote=EVILDOERS]And personally we don't find it very inhibiting to walk into a bar or a restaurant and not be able to tell immediately who is and isn't a swinger. [/quote] You've never met a hot couple in a grocery store and thought "Damn.. those two are HOT.. I wonder if they are swingers.." If you say no, I don't believe you. =)

Bubulaplease - Sandy station? - We went to Sandy Station and were immediately approached by someone who knew we were swingers. I guess we just give off the " I'll fuck the shit out of you." vibe. That being said, we loved the club, the ambience,(except the music) but the people were super nice. Can't wait to go back.

Thank you Lifestyle. - A commentary about our journey - Thanksgiving just passed us by and Xmas and the New Year are quickly approaching. I thought I would take a long moment of my time, and your time if you are reading this, to tell this massive entity, called the "Lifestyle" how it has changed me this year. We have been in the Lifestyle for a little over a year and a half. We don't even like the name lifestyle. We prefer "kinky" or "adventurous" or even just "fun as hell", but it seems the term will be around for awhile longer. The wife and I often ponder what exactly the Lifestyle is. Is it a certain set of rules and guidelines that we all live in? Is it the same for us as it is for everyone else? How often does it hurt marriage or relationships and how often does it help? Do we regret our decision to enter into it? When we first tip-toed into the waters we were intimidated, in awe and totally unprepared for what we would experience. It all seemed magical and sometimes scary. We have and had a great marriage and thought we wanted a new, kinky adventure together. We planned to go slow and we would be fine, we were certain. But we were nervous. We were so sloshed at our first Sinful party that we irritated a few people there, no doubt, and probably made asses of ourselves. We still do that sometimes, but now we do it conscientiously. But we grew and learned quickly and have morphed into what we are today (huge asses). Interestingly enough, a few years before we entered the LS, we thought swingers were all gross, dirty, sexually infected people ( I am still not ruling some of you out). We had met a couple that harassed us at every opportunity and were the "creepy" type. Now we know people may think of us the same way if they found out, which is sad, because we like to be honest and open with all of our friends. So, like many of you, it is a secret we keep. It is a trade off for doing what we do. So what have I learned? How have I changed? I have always been a non-judgmental person by most standards, but still I had strong opinions about certain things. One spouse, one partner; that is how it should be done. So what changed? First off, our communication started to blossom about all sorts of things once my wife left her religion. I won't mention names, but it begins with an L and ends in DS. We talked and talked and talked and the more we talked the more we realized that we both had kinky minds and that maybe we should "experiment". So, we made some rules, actually a LOT of rules, and entered the ring. Still thinking one spouse, one partner, but maybe, just maybe we could play in the same room as other people. How kinky is that? Hence our name...sameroomonly. Well, as some of you know, the lifestyle is a monstrous, living, breathing beast and can quickly drag you to places you never thought possible. We made some mistakes, had some great times and just fumbled our way through for a few months trying to figure out where our lines were and what we should or shouldn't do. Then we got smart. We learned to communicate again, like we used to do privately, only now we could do it with other people around. And it was refreshing. No more secret code words (well, sometimes) and no more wondering if what one of us was doing was not condoned by the other. So that is the first thing I think the LS has helped us with. Communication. We communicate like mother fuckers. Better than all of our non-lifestyle friends, for the most part. Are we always amazing and never have bumps? Of course not. Anyone who says they never have drama are either liars or delusional. So thank you lifestyle for our ability to exchange ideas and to be more honest with each other, always. The next thing we found was that we were making friends at a very fast pace. We made a kik group and had our first party with about 40 people up in Park City only 5 or so months after joining the website. It was a blast. We still host parties and invite new people all the time. We enjoy introducing new friends with old friends. Wait, did I say friends or fuck buddies? Don't we sleep with all of our friends? Isn't that the expectation? Not for us. We have made friends that we know will be around until we are all old and gray. We have lost friends because we wouldn't fuck. There are whole discussions on these forums about how some just want to meet and fuck, because this is a swinging site, not a friend site. And to each their own. We don't judge, but for us the rewards of our friendships have far outweighed the 10 or 20 seconds of amazing sex. We have friends around the world that we never would have met without the LS. So to the lifestyle, I say thank you for all of the wonderful friends we have made. Love you all, some more than others ( you know who I am talking about). :) The LS has also taught me to be less judgmental and to avoid using words like "never" or "always". Life is full of gray areas and has lost much of its black and white features. Oh sure, I still judge, have preferences and prejudices, but we all do. I just really believe in walking in another's shoes before I make any decisions about someone's life. So lifestyle, thank you for making me more understanding of other people. Last of all, I just want to say that the sexual journey has been amazing. We have shared many hot, sexy and intimate times with some of you and we have come to realize how similar we all are. We all like sex, we all have a kinky side, or else we wouldn't be here. I have done things that I never imagined would ever happen, with some of the sexiest, most beautiful people I have ever met. I have shared intimate moments with people I care deeply about and others that were just passing through. All have their high points. I have experienced more than most people would even dream about, as have most of you. We are the select who choose to follow our dreams and fantasies. I think we are fortunate. So lifestyle, thank you for all the amazing sex. In the end the lifestyle is different for everyone. It is a whole sub universe in the middle of a "normal" society. Sometimes we have to walk among the shadows to keep our secret, but totally worth it. I would never trade the LS for my wonderful marriage and think I am the luckiest man alive to be married to my beautiful, amazing wife who has shared this journey with me. Love you, Babe. As with everything in life, there will be people who read this and like it, some who don't care and some who disagree or will want to pick it to pieces. That is what makes this amazing. There are so many wonderful, different people and the lifestyle is a perfect diving board to jump into the sea of waiting bodies and personalities. So if you are new, jump in, explore and learn. If you are old school, help others to weather the bumps and keep exploring. Long live the lifestyle. That is a little about my journey, how about you? I encourage anyone to add what they think or feel the LS has done for them, even negative things. Merry xmas to everyone and hope to meet some of you new people. And to my friends, I care about each and every one of you. The Mr.

What is up with Utah?! - Swingers in Utah and nowhere else? - We have never had friends that are more caring, sexy, and fun, than the ones we have made here in Utah.. Theres no place better! ~D&T~

new to the scene - - Can you give more clarity on the type of advice you seek? This will help those that are sincere in their responses to give honest answers. There was a post not long ago about swingers and where to start. We will try to find and let you know about it and or put it on the front here when we find it.