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Bubulaplease - Confidentiality - Something that has bothered me a little bit...when we went to Lumpys the doorman asked if we were there for the Sinful event. We says yes and as we were walking down the stairs some people upstairs asked him what was going on and he said it was a swingers party. I mentioned it to a few people that night and it seemed that it was a normal occurrence. We realize that going to the events we may run into someone we know, however, people who don't know about our lifestyle also go to lumpys. I would hate for them to know there was a swingers party going on and then see us leaving or something. My question..is this normal? Is it this way at, say, Sandy Station? Do the group organizers ask for confidentiality?
Affair Match - - Very well said Lusty... and many others of you... Its not a matter of judgementalism for I too fall on the perhaps wierdly mystical side that "everything is perfect, there is ultimately no "making right or wrong". However, thats not to say that we dont all have 'preferences'. It just seems wierd to attract cheating spouse lurkers to a dedicated swingers site. Did we ever find out if Swingular has a similar ad on the Married Affair site attracting affair seekers to what they might believe is an "easy hunting ground" for tail?
PS... it is sooo good to hear so many speaking about how important it is to hold a field of Non-judgement and full acceptance. For the record, my opposition to this banner ad reflects my present desire to align myself with with open, honest swingers. In my past I have both been a cheater and played with cheaters. Its nice to have evolved into a fully honest, open marriage and found you all in a community of so many who embrace just how strong, good and honorable this type of relationship can be. Thanks to you all and hope to meet many more.
Member since Jan 1st!
Dave
Ways to point out Swingers in public - - How about black silicone ring on the pinkie finger - both male and female- match them and you have a swinger couple !! New code for all of us ??? Or 2 stacked rings on the pinkie meaning shared ?
The vent! - Judgements, I'm so tired of them. - On judgments:
My wife and I were in the lifestyle for many years. She died 5 years ago of cancer and was the love of my life. It has been very hard for me as we were married for 34 years. Many of our friends were swingers because, as others have found, those not involved in the lifestyle often have negative judgmental attitudes. We made many friends.
After she died I was supported by my friends but I was no longer invited to parties. For a while that was fine because I wasn't ready. But since I've tried to renew my lifestyle activities, I've found that I am no longer welcome. Why? Because I'm a single male. Forget that my wife and I were involved in the lifestyle up in Seattle, forget the many times we hosted parties at our house, my wife's death made me a pariah to other swingers.
I really do not understand this. I'm still the same person. I'm discrete, clean, disease and drug free, I'm not pushy and no always means no. I guess I do not understand why all of a sudden I'm no longer welcome at parties i used to attend.
Yes, many people not in the lifestyle judge those of us who are. But a large number of people in the lifestyle are just as judgmental, only they pretend that they are not.
Single Males vs. Unicorns - this is ridiculous - I block ANYBODY that has repeatedly made himself/herself/themselves annoying, obnoxious, and/or rude. And I have more married males (who's wives ARE around and part of the couple's playtime) act inappropriately than I've had single males. But yeah... if someone is acting obnoxious and I don't wanna hear it (or read it I guess), I use the block button. Works wonderfully.
And for the other topic that's surfaced. Plenty of these single men can find dates. They just choose swingers due to their sexual preference. If you wanna get rude and say single men are here cuz they need to steal someone else's girl... couldn't this also go for married men? Or the women for that matter? Seriously. We're all here cuz we have this particular sexual preference. Now play nice and block those that don't know how. :P
Secret Swingers Club Ogden, UT - Clubs - [quote=DOOGLE83]Oh wow! That is awesome to know![/quote]
It must be hit or miss. We have only gone once but it was dead. No one really talked to anyone other than those they came with. We had high hopes.
is it true about swingular??????????????????? - - Oh hell, just give it time and let it grow. utah, Florida, Alaska who cares. It is a great site and it will grow. Swingers need a contect net and Swingular can and will fit the bill. nothing grows over night... utah has jumped on the site (go figure whith how restricted we are,
Give it time, it can work! And atleast they aren't nuts about send me money, sign up. Their subscription is pretty reasonable.
It will survive in Utah and Florida and given a chance, elswere......
Denial - What is the proper way to turn someone down. - Your worrying about it too much. Hope this doesn't offend, but really you are over thinking it. I'd just do what you want to do and not worry about what everyone feels or thinks. The only thing you SHOULD do if you don't want to get a lot of emails telling you how stuck up you are, is just be NICE.
Being NICE is actually pretty hard for some people and I still don't understand why. As for answering the mountains of board mails you will get on this site, Don't stress it. We used to think we should respond to every email and I'll tell you right now, it's impossible. We made a rule really early and that was that your friend request would only be approved if we did in fact know you personally, or if the one asking had made some effort to get to know us in a Chat room, or by email.
One thing though that I would advise you as newbies on this site. If you allow your "sexual preferences" to dictate who and if you will meet someone in the lifestyle, then you are going to miss out on it's rich experience. Not everyone you meet that you may develop of friendship with is going to want to fuck you. So I'd not worry about meeting new people, even if they are asking to be your friend online. The key is always controlling how you'll meet people (which is easy) and then letting things take their course.
As for the "old" factor. You both are going to be really disappointed then with the "No one over 35" rule. The average age for Swingers in the United States is 35-45. Your wife is fairly young, she feels funny about guys my age being her Dad's age, well the feeling is mutual. Contrary to what some women might think, it's not all about the tight ass and perky boobs. But as for a friendship (non-sexual) why the hell not?
If your patient, friendly, and get out there and meet other swingers (like the parties), I think you'll find what you are looking for in sexual partners. I also think in some cases newbies are pretty "fixed" on what they think they want sexually. But after 4 years you may notice that what you "thought was ideal" is no longer the case. Keeping an open mind is pretty important in anything in life and it's not a bad idea in regards to swinging as well.
Good luck to you guys
Mr ABC
Secret Swingers Club Ogden, UT - Clubs - Headed to Unspoken tonight. It’s her birthday.
Creating an Amazing Swingers Profile - How to market yourself better - We firmly agree with private profile pics having face pictures. When we do accept friend requests and look at the private pics if no face pics we unfriend quickly.
Go figure
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