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Swingers of Color - - Thanks for all the replys!
Messages - why don't people want to message back - 1. All the sites are crawling with fake couple profiles that are pic collectors or guys trying to cheat.
2. People here have the idea of dabbling but are not serious about it.
3. People have their ideal encounter in their head and are only looking for that exact situation.
4. People are simply lazy. They wanna push a button (like the FR one) and let you do all the work.
5. People totally content with swinging are already in an established party or meet group and have people come to them now. They are tons of fun, experienced swingers that know how to balance normal life and swinging life.
So we always tell newbs there is a huge learning curve to this lifestyle. No, it’s not the sex part, we all already do that, it’s the ability to sort through the mess and find connections. Living where you do makes it even harder. Try some other sites to see if they fit better. AFF usually has a good listing in your area. Try posting up something when you have free time and see what comes your way. Don’t jump at every friend request. Our experience over 4 years is the blind ones with no message lead no where.
We use the sites for first contact, then k!k (you can live pic verify there) and chat to see if it’s a match. Remember it’s a frustrating road ahead. Even after getting to full chat and meeting time, we really only meet 5% of the people we talk to, and we are super flexible and drive many miles to meet and play. Just keep at it. We are to the point now we can spot most flakes, cheaters and collectors quickly and we block and move on. When you do finally meet just be open. Network, be friends, that can lead to parties or new friends. Start looking to just meet cool fucking people and learn from there.
Why can't we find any text and remote pervs!? - We love to sext and hve fun over long distances at times - [quote=URIAH]Some of us old-school swingers simply prefer the old fashioned practice of sex in the same room, naked, with everyone touching.
Uriah[/quote]
Old School? 56? You young whipperrsnapper, you. ~ Terry
Spitroast - Mfm - [quote=COUPLE4_U]Single male swingers,,,, Really doesn’t make any sense to me[/quote]
And your profile says looking for cpl and SINGLE FEMALES…
closed doors? - - Ha ha to the comment about swingers parties being one big orgy. We have been to several parties and none of them have been that :( If anyone knows where they have those, please let us know:p
KUTV News Story on Swingers - News - This was typical for what passes as journalism in the great state of Utah. Heidi Hatch appears to be a shill for the Mormon church, or just a bad journalist. Based on my views of the quality of news reporting in Utah, and the influence of the church locally, I will go with both.
One concern this story brings up is the level of scrutiny now on the community in Utah and what the the laws surrounding playing and public parties are, especially where on-premises sex is permitted. I can see our own home-grown morality police trying to force their version of reality on the rest of the population and seek to stop these parties from happening.
Anyone know the laws around Utah for these things?
Swinging versus poly/open - - I'm speculating here, but it seems the millennial generation as a whole is more open to an open/poly relationship, and it naturally is bleeding into Swingular as more and more younger/ish couples sign up.
We started out with very strict rules about emotions for others, ect. Now, we find ourselves on a spectrum where we still occasionally love the "wham bam, thank you mam" aspects of swinging (what were their names again...😁?), but after several years of that, we are now far more interested in developing relationships with the people we meet. Sometimes that means we have really good friends with benefits, however neither of us are closed to the possibility of dating the right person.
And I don't believe dating others leads to divorce, however not being honest and failing to communicate certainly does. And that applies to swingers and monagamous couples alike.
KUTV News Story on Swingers - News - We watched it last night. It was totally one sided and from a bitter woman looking to lay blame for her failed marriage. She thought that swinging would fix her marriage. This is the most ridicules thing I heard. First of all if you don't have a 100% strong and trusting relationship then stay away. This is not marriage counseling. Second of all about the STD, play it safe or understand the risk. Third don't throw around the religion card to get sympathy. We are all adults and make choices be adult enough to live with the ones you make. As for the therapist she was way of base bringing in the emotion of love to the swinging world. There is a difference between sex and love, one is a act of the way you treat and live with your other and one is purely to satisfy a animal instinct we choose to satisfy. This was a one person bitch session to get even for her own failures in life not a fair say on both sides.
Are swingers moral? - Who determines what morals are? - My previous comment was in no way intended to say that soldiers are immoral. We need them and they provide a courageous service for all of us. Just to say that those who seem extreme (the gang banger) may be acting in a way we can understand and possibly relate to.
what if I want to but he doesn't - - [quote=NU2THEGAME]the worst part is that I consider myself intelligent with good common sense, so why can't i repress this- why is this so important to me right now? my hormones are taking over my common sense!! don't want to ruin a marriage for a cheap thrill- but also know that sex is a very important part of a marriage... part of it i'm sure is that I've been with him since i was 14..... i know this.[/quote]
There are many little things that we all do without that do not really affect our lives to any degree. But sometimes the little things turn out to be really big things. I would say that you have found one of yours.
I sounds like you are telling us that you everything your husband wants sexually. But there is something you need that you are not getting sexually. We could guess as to what that is but it would not help to guess. You need to examine and define what it is that you are lacking. Otherwise all we can do is talk in generalities. Some people only feel safe when things are neatly defined and unchanging.
I think that most swingers will tell you that sexually we get into a rut or pattern with any lover and that for many of us that is like the end of life. Most will also tell you that this lifestyle helps to keep you feeling alive and part of the world. You learn knew things from different people and your world opens wider.
Marriage changes how many think or act. Why that is would take many pages off topic. A marriage like good government should be one of give and take and compromise. Once one side had decided not to compromise or find a solution that makes their partner happy, then they have decided that the marriage is no linger important.
As an example: A woman once told me that after marriage her husband only touched her once a year on a specific day. The rest of the time he was a cold fish. That is all he wanted and what she wanted did not matter. In a way that was sexual abuse of the worst magnitude. To choose a celibate life for one
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