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Slowing Things Down - An argument for taking your time. - That's a lot.... did ya'll cramp up typing this? Whew ! On the topic, we are always friends first... it makes the actual play much better ( in our own humble opinion ) [quote=DELICIOUSLYWET]A nice, slow, buildup might be ideal. In the vanilla world, the buildup often begins long before the first date. You meet a co-worker, or a fellow student, or someone who you see at the coffee shop, and there is some immediate attraction, and eventually you connect on a more physical level. If we are hoping to make those sort of connections, within the swinging lifestyle community, then we are going to have to find a way to run into lifestyle people frequently, and casually. If there is no, or limited opportunities to just run into swingers, enough to build relationships like that, then the way we end up meeting is through dating. If you are swiping right and you are vanilla dating, online, if there is shared chemistry and attraction, you will have a second date and so on and so forth. If the chemistry is super hot, even in the vanilla world, people sometimes fuck on the first date. If the sexual intimacy was superb, that might just accelerate the depth of the shared communications, the amount, and the quality of the time together. The way we see it, if there is some super hot chemistry, on a swinging date, if sexual intimacy happens, the same sort of acceleration in the relationship might happen. It might not. If it doesn't and the sex was good, well, good sex beats mowing the lawn. For us, we raised five kids, who all grew up to be happy, healthy successful adults. All but one of our kids have significant others. Some have kids, which makes us grandparents. Our kids and our grandkids, really like us, love us, and we really like and love them, so we spend a lot of time together. We have friends from work and friends from the neighborhood, and we have jobs. Seriously, dating, at the level we dated, when we were wooing each other, in terms of time, well we just don't have it. If non-monogamy was the openly celebrated norm, and friends openly fucked each other, as a normal part of a friendship, then we would all just naturally end up in those sorts of relationships. Well, except the assholes. Assholes don't flow into meaningful relationships. They take advantage of people's vulnerabilities and loneliness. Manipulation isn't friendship. Demanding people, who wish to break you into the vision of their expectations don't want to be your friend. No give, just take. You'll never be able to give them enough. You owe them nothing, and yet, they will shame you for not giving them exactly what they want when they want it. If we can all just avoid the assholes, then what we do get to share with good caring people, is a privilege and for lack of a better term, a blessing. Good people, reaching out, accept and defend each other's vulnerabilities, even if that means some disappointment and patience, and that takes an honest caring person. Sexual desire honestly expressed is surrounded with vulnerability, and romance even more. I changed subjects there for a moment. Since what swingers do is considered taboo, as a social norm, then that leaves dating. Let's face it. Dating is hit and miss, when it comes to making a lasting connection. When four people are involved dating becomes maybe a bit more complicated. We are not apposed to the slow burn buildup. If we meet someone and there is a spark, that is the motivation. If there really is a nice shared spark, and they want to jump ahead and build the fire, we probably won't say no. [/quote]

Why the male side of Couples are here...? - I will admit I am hoping to spark some heated debate on this.... - (from Terry) And now I'm starting to understand why Evil and I seem to have senses of huimor that sometimes run in the same direction. It's because, in at least some pretty important ways, we see the world in the same way. I'm here for two reasons. First, I was doing this for a while back when it was one Hell of a lot harder than it is now for single men, they were very nearly completely excluded from the lifestyle which, then, was usually called, by both those inside and outside of it, "wife swapping". The very title, and the basic premise of things then, essentially disqualified single men. Now I'm talking about the late '70s and early '80s. Actual "hippiedom", and the free love philosophy was either diminishing, dying off, or dead, depending on where in the country you were. But we'd managed to change society's general view of some things, and sex was one of the biggest. The attitude change, especially on the part of women, who were no longer automatically "sluts" if they enjoyed sex and didn't need to be married, or engaged, or even "going steady" to indulge, together with effective and easily available birth control (illegal in every state until sometime in the early '60s, even condoms were ostensibly sold as and were labeled as being specifically for "disease prevention", and no worries about deadly and/or incurable STDs had changed the world, and birthed what is often referred to as a "sexual revolution". It was almost like falling off a log to go out on a weekend and find an amenable girl. So why the Hell was I bothering with the "wife swapping" world, when it was so damned difficult to even penetrate, let alone to "get something"? For the same reason I was one of those long-haired (except for my 3 years in the Army) hippie freak. I LOVE people who ignore what the rest of the world is telling them to do or not to do, and I want to be around them. Yeah, there are all sorts of individual exceptions, but, for the most part, as compared to the vanilla people, swingers are more intelligent, more likely to use their heads for something besides a hat rack, and, despite the various complaints about certain kinds of people or actions that pop up here, a Hell of a lot less judgmental and intolerant of people who aren't the same as they are. They, again as a general rule, think for themselves, and don't just latch on to the currently popular opinion about whatever. Why I'm here now is that I'm married to a girl 24 years younger than me, who happens to enjoy a couple things I can do but which I'm not really into, and she's at that so-called female sexual peak point in her life. And I figure that my main purpose in the world is to do everything I can to make her as happy as she can be. Being witches, we don't have the standard "you belong to me and only me" attitude about our life partners, we don't think sexual fun with some other person does a damned thing to diminish our relationship; if I have sex with Jane Doe or she has sex with John Smith (and maybe Jane Smith, too), we are still the same people afterwards that we were beforehand. So getting back into it, and bringing her into it, was a great way to help her have the kinds of fun she likes, and for me to hang around with a group of people that I really like. And meet and play with girls I really like. I'm one of those weird guys who does read the profiles before looking at the pics, and even once in a great while even send off an email before I've even seen any of the pics besides the main profile pic. It's just a lot more important who she is and what she's like than it is what she looks like. And I'll find lots more girls that I like and respect here than I ever could in the vanilla world. One thing about what Team said, though. Swinging can bring out and amplify problems in a relationship. But avoiding that is just a question of attitude. First, you have to absolutely trust in your partner's honesty with you. Even though the Mrs. has a hall pass, the only provision being that I meet any guy she might play with before she does, so I can feel like she's going to be safe with him, I know I'd be really upset if she ever started messing around with someone on the side without me even knowing it was going on. But In don't ever even worry about that actually happening, because I trust her completely. Just like she trusts me, not only to not start a secret "affair" with someone, but to never try to even influence who she does or doesn't play with. She knows that when I meet some potential playmate of hers, even if for some reason I think he's a total jerk, I'm not going to say anything. She's the one who will be playing with him, not me, so it's her job, not mine, to decide who's worth playing with. She knows the only time I'll have anything to say about whether she should or not is if I get an impression somehow that the guy can't be trusted to treat her well, and not ever hurt her, ever do or try to do anything she doesn't want. Point is, if you both don't totally trust each other, you're likely to have problems, even if neither of you ever actually does anything sneaky. The second thing is that you can't have the "normal" attitude about your partner, where you feel he or she is in a way your property, and if anyone else uses your property, you're being stolen from. You can't have that feeling that sex equates to love, the kind of love that makes someone want to permanently be with someone. else. If you feel that way, you'll end up worrying that having sex with another person might make him or her decide they've found a better companion, and leave you. Sex is something that goes with that permanent relationship kind of love, but it isn't what determines it. If you can't truly see, and feel, that sex itself is just another enjoyable activity that you do with people you like, just another form of friendship based intimacy like discussing some problem you have with a friend, you're probably going to have problems. If you're at all, in any way or for any reason, at all uncomfortable with your partner having sex with other people, or he or she is uncomfortable with you doing it, then you're probably going to run into difficulties. So it's all a matter of attitude. If you and your partner are truly completely fine with the other having sex with someone else, and if you both trust each other completely, swinging isn't going to destroy your relationship. If both of those attitude type things are not really and truly true for either of you, then it just might. And about that 70 years old thing, Hell, I'm only 6 years away from it, and I haven't yet run into any indications of decline. So far, the girls I've ended up in the bedroom with have been happy with the results. While I haven't yet (thank the Goddess), had to just rely on that ages old bit of wisdom, the one that says "when you're too old to cut the mustard, you can always lick the jar", it ain't everyone that can tie a cherry stem in a knot with his tongue, and I suppose that might be helping me out, but, then again, that always helps out, no matter how young you are [em]Emo_4[/em] But just in case that needing to be taken care of bit is one of those things that happens all of a sudden, like maybe it hits you at one minute past midnight on your 70th birthday, I think I better get Evil to hook me up with those friends of his, so we can have that room all arranged for and booked. Only Evil's limiting himself. I want 3 if those insatiable 22 year olds, one redhead, one blonde, and one brunette. When I commit suicide, I want it to be a truly memorable event, even though I won't be around to remember it. [em]Emo_45[/em] I mean, we can set up cameras and stuff in there, then my wife can get it all edited into a good porn flick, and the proceeds can help her out, in case we haven't managed to find her a nice sugar daddy by then.

What is up with Utah?! - Swingers in Utah and nowhere else? - We love all the hot :h Utah swingers they are the best

Children's Book 🤣 - Tim and Kate are Swingers - Disturbing interpretation and not funny at all.

Are swingers moral? - Who determines what morals are? - ...that all depends on who you ask! If you feel good about who you are, how you live your life, how you treat others... then yes, you are a moral being (if you weren't you'd feel it)... xoxo, a very moral CandeeMe ;)

Swing Color Bands - Swing Color Bands - [quote=MASSMN]I agree the wristbands are a good idea but Having so many colors is ridiculous and confusing as this site is proving. What is everyone going to have to carry a cheat card in their pockets to remind them of what colors what. Why not stay to the basic's: One color which just signifies you are swingers and can be worn outside the club these also can have a universal Logo of choice. Have Two clors which shows Female is BI, multicolored, and Third, tri-colored, which shows Both are Bi. That's One band with NO more then 3 colors which u can wear anywear and maybe meet new people u wouldn't have been able to do before. Again, keep it simple and less confusing. [/quote] I think the color chart is great... all you have to do is remember what your color is about and then when you run into someone that has a band on and you don't know what the color stands for you will be impaled to actually go up to that person and ask them what it stands for...[size=200] [color=#56121d"]this is what is called a great conversation starter...[/color][/size] this is what we are trying to get across to people.. you don't need to remember all the colors just the number that is on the bracelet... Last night we sold over 47 of them at the meet and greet so people are going to be wearing this out there so be looking for them!!! If you didn't get yours last night contact us and we will get the ball rolling to get you one.... Mr Trixiee

The statistics of swinging - Relationship longevity in the lifestyle. - One thing we've noticed (and even had a few close calls with ourselves) is that, once the initial thrill of swinging/swapping wears off a little bit, many people look for the NEXT big thrill...usually separate play. And THAT, if you're not really prepared for it and don't go into it with your eyes wide open, is when things can get really sticky. I have an acquaintance in the lifestyle who is a professor of physiology who likes to talk at length about the "love hormone", oxytocin, and how powerful it can be in some lifestyle circumstances. I guess a subset of this issue might be how many swingers who break up do so because they fall in love with someone else in the lifestyle. One particularly insidious behavior that we've, unfortunately, encountered are men, both single AND married, in the lifestyle who attempt to ply Ms. Evil by saying things like, "If you were mine I would never want to share you.". There are probably a fair number of women (and probably men) who might be susceptable to that type of talk if they're insecure in their primary relationship.

Secret Swingers Club Ogden, UT - Clubs - Speaking of lifestyle groups on Facebook, and as I really don't search well can anyone provide suggestions? or send me an invite. I would definitely be interested in looking for a LS friendly bar.

Swingers Next Door! - ABC news story on Swinging! - [quote=SEXYANDFREE]Check this out. Also watch many videos that follow this! http://abcnews.go.com/Lifestyle/swingers-door-married-couples-ohio-neighborhood-spice-neighbors/story?id=29759877[/quote] The videos didn't play for me. Have they been removed?

Girls that are into DP - How common is this activity among the swingers? - The Blue Toy is fun when there isn't another guy around.. Works for DP and DVP...