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Cuming out of the Swinger closet - - [quote=SJA]After some time in the lifestyle, we have recently started to break the news to some of our close friends that we are swingers.
We have great friends and so far they have taken the information really well. However, we have other friends that would never want to hear it, and god forbid if we ever told our family about it.
What are everyone else's thoughts about coming out of the "Swinger" closet?[/quote]
Have you even considered the implications for others that may want to stay "in the closet"? You may be committing "Swinger Suicide" as it were... your openness might be great for you, but other may want to stay behind the curtain and would not want to be outed by association.
Denial - What is the proper way to turn someone down. - Your worrying about it too much. Hope this doesn't offend, but really you are over thinking it. I'd just do what you want to do and not worry about what everyone feels or thinks. The only thing you SHOULD do if you don't want to get a lot of emails telling you how stuck up you are, is just be NICE.
Being NICE is actually pretty hard for some people and I still don't understand why. As for answering the mountains of board mails you will get on this site, Don't stress it. We used to think we should respond to every email and I'll tell you right now, it's impossible. We made a rule really early and that was that your friend request would only be approved if we did in fact know you personally, or if the one asking had made some effort to get to know us in a Chat room, or by email.
One thing though that I would advise you as newbies on this site. If you allow your "sexual preferences" to dictate who and if you will meet someone in the lifestyle, then you are going to miss out on it's rich experience. Not everyone you meet that you may develop of friendship with is going to want to fuck you. So I'd not worry about meeting new people, even if they are asking to be your friend online. The key is always controlling how you'll meet people (which is easy) and then letting things take their course.
As for the "old" factor. You both are going to be really disappointed then with the "No one over 35" rule. The average age for Swingers in the United States is 35-45. Your wife is fairly young, she feels funny about guys my age being her Dad's age, well the feeling is mutual. Contrary to what some women might think, it's not all about the tight ass and perky boobs. But as for a friendship (non-sexual) why the hell not?
If your patient, friendly, and get out there and meet other swingers (like the parties), I think you'll find what you are looking for in sexual partners. I also think in some cases newbies are pretty "fixed" on what they think they want sexually. But after 4 years you may notice that what you "thought was ideal" is no longer the case. Keeping an open mind is pretty important in anything in life and it's not a bad idea in regards to swinging as well.
Good luck to you guys
Mr ABC
How do we find a female for a threesome? - - Okay, okay, okay... The moment couples stop calling them "unicorns" and think of them as "ellusive" they will start popping up. Here's my hint: A SINGLE FEMALE SEEKING COUPLES DOES NOT HAVE A NEED TO BE ON A SWINGERS DATING SITE NOR AT A SWINGERS CLUB!! Use other alternatives, be creative, they are out there, many of them, they are not easy to find but I'll say they are not as impossible as most couples think they are. Most of you are looking in the wrong place. The good thing about finding a single girl is that there is a big chance she will become a steady girlfriend. Don't you cute couples think cute girls find you both attractive, interesting, sexy? They do! There are single girls everyday looking at you both at the mall and saying to themselves: "I'll eat them both!" Our experiences: we had play with single females often, not as much as couples. We also had 2 steady girfriends relationships lasting 1-2 yrs (we've been LS for 20 yrs) Hint requests to my inbox.
Fantasy - Looking for help... - Honestly, one of the best resources/communities... for anything, but especially alternative lifestyles is reddit.
check out these forums.
https://www.reddit.com/r/Swingers/
https://www.reddit.com/r/polyamory/
https://www.reddit.com/r/nonmonogamy
Good luck. Wish I was a single woman 90% of the time.
Moose Lounge Tonight, November 17th. - - We had to work. Too bad there isn’t a Saturday meeting place. Or we would have definitely been down for finding a couple(s) to mingle with. I mean we are swingers. And this is what we do. Any couples out there wanting to a more quiet, personal evening? Couple do dinner first to check chemistry. Then let nature do the test. 😛
Age - New to the swingers community - is age a factor in how a couple is viewed? - Well we are barely 30 and we find that we usually end up with couples mostly our age, not for any particular reason its just how it seems to work out. We have hung out
Threaded messenger - We want threaded messenger - [quote=FIT_N_FUN]“There are some really damaged people” on Fetlife? Really? Lmao ... FYI Fetlife is NOT a swinger site, it’s a BDSM site. Just because you don’t share their fetish doesn’t make them damaged. 🙄[/quote]
It's actually a lifestyle site and swinger is one of the designations to choose from when setting up a profile. We've met and played with a lot of swingers from that site, so I'd say it's a viable option for swingers.
And to clarify, I'm not referring to their individual kinks. I'm referring to the writings on that site. We've read some deeply disturbing things on that site and if you're an active member, you know of at least a couple recent issues that gained a lot of attention.[/quote]
I disagree, and we’ve been on Fet for many many years. Fetlife is a kink/BDSM fetish community. Yes, you can designate yourself as a swinger, but the site is in no way a “swinger” site. In fact I think most kinksters on Fet will want nothing to do with swingers who don’t have kinky fetishes, and are just hoping to hook up,
Of course there are pure vanilla swingers there, but I sure wouldn’t recommend it as a “swinger” site. Kasidie is a far better swinger site as an alternative to this crap site lol
Are we really as judgmental as vanilla people? - - [i][b]In answer to the OP, YES. Swingers are just as judgemental if not more so than the vanilla people that we live with. The Lifestyle is just a smaller version of the regular world. And because there are less people in it, it may actually seem like the predjudices are more pronounced. All you can really do, is the same thing that you'd do in regular society...try to avoid the assholes.
Cinnamon[/b][/i]
Friend collectors or swingers - - We are DTF people not friend collectors.
Swingers in Draper cause Super Dell to speed - - OMG! That is SO FUCKING FUNNY!!!! ROTHLMAO!!!! If anyone doubts the kind of fucking Mormon nutjobs we have to deal with in Utah just take a good look at this kook!
Evil
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