Hartfield Swingers in Virginia

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Swingers at work... - - The first day I got a profile on another swinger site (I have three), I was browsing through the 'who's online' section and recognized a guy that works in an office adjoining mine. We've never directly spoken about it but I have casually discussed an off premise club via e-mail without mentioning anything swinger about it. It is kinda wierd when you're in that situation because you kinda want to say something but think you probably shouldn't.

Breaking the 4th wall - meeting a swinger in a vanilla situation. - [quote=BLUEIDKAT] Basically my e-mail was: "Hi, I'm James, the male half of Blueidkat, I work as a sales rep for a national beverage company and consequently call on a lot of retail locations along the Wasatch Front. The other day I was at Blah business in Blah City and noticed someone who looks a lot like you. I know with all the swingers in Utah I must bump into some, everyday, and not realize it. It was so cool to possibly recognize a lifestyler out there in the vanilla world and just wondered if I was right." I understand the whole fear of being stalked and the need for anonimity but are we that afraid? Do we need to be?[/quote]Hey Blue, I know you guys didn't mean anything sinister! But yeah, that'd give me a bit of the creeps. If others read this, I'm sure they'll pipe in with some righteous opinions about how right you are and golly we all need to be proud of ourselves and such because of your statement/question, "I understand the whole fear of being stalked and the need for anonimity but are we that afraid? Do we need to be?" Hopefully few others will read this so we'll not start the whole "Having pics in the profile or not" argument again! :) To answer the question/statement you articulate above, yes, some folks do need anonymity. There are those folks that have a license for their job issued by County or State governments. Obtaining that license is considered a privilege, just like a drivers' license. No, the government can't search you or do medical tests on you against your will -- unless you want to drive. Then you acquiesce to their demands because you want that license. No, the government can't fire someone for perceived violation of a "morality clause" found in a licensing application. They can, however, deny or publicly harass a person about a license. Without that license many folks lose their job. Not good. So for some folks anonymity is not a matter of guilt or shame, but actually becomes a necessity to protect against a threat to their families livelihood. For me, I'm not paranoid or anything but I see absolutely no reason to expose myself unnecessarily. If someone I've met and actually KNOW approaches me away from the swinging scene, I'm totally fine with it, but an anonymous letter from someone I've never even met would bother me.

WHY????? - - I thought this was a swingers website.

LDS Survey Results - - Wish we could put a poll on the census so we could find out exactly what percentage of utahns are swingers. I'm thinking 25% of couples swing.

911 THE REAL TRUTH - - Please take this idiotic banter to a diferent venue... This is a swingers site and both of you are simply fucking with words that, if we were lucky and Japaneese or some other nationality we would disregard as simply noises made with letters. I think that if you wish to keep this crap up simply go out and do the impossible... and get off this flaming party. You are both like a Japaneese Zero trying to make the enemys carrier deck so as to kill any pilot still in the air because he cannot now land. Problem with this is that neither of you will ever hit the other's landing deck.. and maybe all you two are doing is taking your penis' out and flailing at each other with limp members. Aren't at least one of you big enough to put your dick back in your pants and get on with the business at hand.......Fun Fantasy and sex, real sex, not this impotent flailing of limp rhetoric.. Get off my channel and the channel of every other serious swinger in here. Take it out back somewhere.. Go meet in Vagas or NYC or how about New Orleans. Theres plenty of shit down there to throw since the waste treatment plants overflowed.. Isn't enough, enough. Grow UP NUFF SAID!!!!! BY me and definitely by both of you...Piss off

Swinger & 🦄 Bait - An experiment to attract swingers and unicorns. - unicorn bait won't tell lure me in;)

Single dudes - - It's the way it works. Generally you swingers want the hottest of the hot, to enrich the fantasy. Taller than 6' with a huge cock is usually what you shoot for. "In the U.S. population, about 14.5 percent of all men are six feet or over...3.9 percent of adult men are 6'2" or taller" So you are shooting for less than 15% of males. Throw in the other desirable traits you want, and they are going to be massively in demand wherever they go. If they have any sort of social skills they can easily get a night of sex outside of the swinger life, so they are less likely to jump on the wife, and much more likely to cancel at the last second when something they view as more desirable pops up.

Naughty Nature/Kinky Campout - Information please - We are new to the camping experience but would love to give it a try with experienced campers and swingers.

What about the lifestyle didn't meet your expectations? - Preconceptions and disappointment. - I'm home bored, so stop here if you don't want to read a bunch of shite. lol. I think we both entered the lifestyle with some preconceived notions of what the people in the LS would be like, but that was mostly from our limited experience with being vanilla and having LS peeps try to hit on us. It just seemed creepy, desperate and gross at the time. We assumed most of the players would be super aggressive, ready to fuck anyone and have zero interest in relationships outside of sex. Our initial entry was simply to watch and be watched. We quickly learned that there are just as many wonderful people in the LS as out of it. Maybe more. There will always be the outliers, the few percentage on each end of the spectrum that are more extreme, but that happens in any population. Overall, it was a happy surprise. So that would be a negative expectation that wasn't met. As far as things we were hoping would happen or expectation that weren't met, we have very few. But we also went into the labyrinth without really expecting or assuming anything. I don't think we were naive enough to think that this segment of the population was somehow immune from the social characteristics that reveal themselves in any other social class or group. You will always have the "cool kids" the "shy people" the "jocks" the "geeks" the people who classify themselves as the "pity party" and blame the world for their problems. Those things will exist anywhere and should. Swingers are a diverse group of people with a few, maybe very few, common goals. Those goals I think are to meet others with social deviancy and those interested in expanding their sexual experiences or simply to meet new friends. Swinging, in itself, doesn't solidify your beliefs in anything else (politics, food preferences, choice of travel location, or even how or what you are looking for as swingers). I think that is where expectations can fail. If a person goes into a situation thinking, "I/we think "x" so everyone else must think "x" as well", they are bound to be disappointed. I've said this a lot of times, the lifestyle is not black and white. Life isn't black and white. There will be frustrations around every turn if you allow yourself to be duped into thinking your way of thinking is more than just your viewpoint, that it is universal to everyone. I see people complaining of flakes, people who meet once then run away, etc. That's how they roll. That's their truth. It's what they are comfortable with or wanting and who am I to judge. That being said, I don't have to associate with them and hopefully learn how to avoid that situation or become more efficient at finding people with similar interests. The lifestyle is work. Sometimes a lot of work. I think it's foolish to think that it should be easy to find 4 people who all jive. Think about how many people you have dated before settling on the right one for you. And to assume that somehow changes in the lifestyle and that after chatting on kik for a few weeks then meeting over drinks will somehow magically connect you. Ugh. Sometimes it happens. Sometimes not. But I wouldn't expect it. For others, the thought of any connection past the one-nighter is absurd. Why would you want to make friends with your fuck-buddies? It may be too risky and cause too many emotions. Point is, we are all different and that is what makes the journey so beautiful. And, just a note about flakes, since it is a recurrent theme. Yes, maybe there are more flakes in the lifestyle, but I'm guessing it's specifically related to the nature of the LS. Swinging for some can be very intimidating and frightening. Sometimes the chase is much more fun than the fucking. Not excusing them that do flake, it seems a problem for sure, but I think I understand, at least in part, why it happens so much. There is so much social pressure not to be in the lifestyle and most were brought up without it being the normal way to live. So society is telling us we are wrong, gross, deviant, etc. Add to that the fear of actually getting naked and fucking someone else and it can cause a lot of anxiety in some. When we first started we were petrified to even go the parties thinking it was going to be a fuck/rape fest. lol. Turned out we were wrong but it was a learning process. Lastly, if you are already treading carefully and the couple/person you are supposed to be meeting gives off any bad vibes, maybe flaking is best. It's hard not to hurt someone's feelings and honesty isn't always what happens. I know we have been honest with couples and it turned into a shit-show. Why don't you like us? If you only meet us and give us a chance we can prove we are wonderful. Other's like us, why don't you. It's hard to be honest at times about why there isn't a connection. May flaking be a way to spare feelings? I don't know. There are probably a plethora (Hefe, do you know what a plethora is?)of reasons people flake and some of those my be that they are just douches. But likely there are other people that aren't and are just trying to get out of a situation they are unfamiliar with. Avoid the douches but maybe give those others a second chance. Evil: always good topics you bring to the table. So you think because people like sex they should be good at it? I know a lot of people who love food but suck at cooking. haha. Maybe having too many options on the table can also make people lazy. I don't have to try hard if I know tomorrow is another partner. To some it's the quantity and not the quality. But I can see why the expectation would be there. All in all we really have no complaints. It's been a fascination journey. Some ups, some downs, but always and adventure. We will keep our expectations low, both of ourselves and those around us. Less disappointment that way. I'm going back to sitting in my underwear, drinking a beer and watching TV. Zero expectations. haha. :) Mr. SRO

How Do you Find Out - Question about Friends - Also listen to the language they use. We have picked out other swingers by how they talk..