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New Swingers Club in Utah - Gauging interest in new club - We would definitely come keep us posted
Looking to establish a group of safe swingers - - Interested as well
Girls that are into DP - How common is this activity among the swingers? - Wife totally loves it with the right people
Church Swingers, are they out there? - - Notice to all the ladies:
Please refrain from yelling "OH GOD" when you have an orgasm.
Just a little friendly advise to most single male swingers. - Male swingers - lol that could be arranged yet distance always seems to be a hindrance.
Help With Wife - Wife has fantasies but is super hesitant to experiment. - Personally I think you might be a little too eager (can't blame you, we all were when we started) and pushing just a little too hard to make her fantasy a reality. Rather than trying to find a way to get around the "Catch 22" of her fantasy maybe just explore it more verbally and see if it evolves into some kind of scenario that she is comfortable with that more easily can happen in the real world.
The most successful swingers we know, ourselves included, arrived at where they are by being open and supportive of each other's fantasies and desires without forcing them in any way. In other words, be patient, explore your fantasies verbally and maybe role play, a LOT, with each other before you jump into anything that either of you isn't quite ready for.
You might be surprised as you fantasize openly and honestly how your fantasies might evolve and become something that you eventually can and will make a reality. You know your wife better than anyone and maybe she does need a little nudge but most of the swingers we've known over the years who've crashed and burned did so because one partner pushed the limits too fast and didn't wait for the more hesitant partner to catch up. In our case we were quite surprised and what our fantasies morphed into when we really dug deep and talked about the truly deviant (by local standards anyway-lol) aspects of our fantasies.
Sorry, I know that's probably not the kind of advice you were hoping for but it's been our observation over a rather lengthy swinging career. Another thought, if you're bound and determined to make your first swinging experience a MFM, is to find a guy who is okay with just watching you two play or maybe getting involved in some soft swinging...i.e. back rubs and or touching but no intercourse. We were soft swap for the first year or two of our swinging life and it was great fun and took the pressure off until we were ready to take the next step. Best of luck!
edit- Sorry about what now seems like a long rambling response. In my defense it was pre-coffee. [em]Emo_79[/em]
Playing Alone - - Couples all have different rules. Many categorically refuse to play alone with ANYONE ever. This is their "security" place. They feel comfortable in the place where they can see each other and "protect" if necessary. It takes some people a long time to get passed this.
It's kind of a 'control' thing leftover from the vanilla life. I'm not saying it's bad, good or indifferent it's just the way it is. Some people take longer to get passed their histories as vanillas than others. As they progress and get more comfortable with themselves, the lifestyle, their partners then they will slowly open up and begin to trust a bit more.
Don't take it personally, that's the key. Many people still hang on to their vanilla background that their partners are their most 'valued' possession. I liken it to my $450 deep sea fishing reel. Sure I'll loan it to someone to use if I'm on the boat with them and can make sure they're taking care of it. Is there anyone I'd just let 'borrow' it out right for the day or weekend? Not a chance in hell.
It takes time to let go of that 'she's/he's mine' get feeling. I think my wife and I took almost 6 years before we got there successfully. We tried many times before that but it never worked out well for either of us. We finally came to a point where it's okay to play separately everything from next room to next state it no longer bothers us. I personally prefer within 30 - 50 miles so she get's home faster for the "after play" sex you're describing (which I really like too.)
You'll have to find a VERY secure, VERY established, VERY strong couple to fulfill your fantasy. They are out there, my wife and I for example but even though we're open to playing separately are we open to YOU playing with her or me separately? That's a different level of trust. Does it mean no? No. It means "maybe" in time it's a possibility. (I'm speaking hypothetically of course.)
Don't worry your "couple" or "person" will come along. You might also try investigating a subsection of the lifestyle called "hotwifeing" while I know few swingers who are hardcore into only hotwifing, there are quite a few that tip toe in that part of the lifestyle (quick def, she plays he doesn't except with her.) That's the post play joy for you and the play and post play joy for her. Most people just bounce between that and swinging. There are people out there just be patient and don't expect it from any current playmates that you have established rules with, they need to progress at their own speed.
Swingers dying out? - Is the utah swinger community dying or becoming to needy? - [quote=TIFFND]I don't think it is dying out, by any means. My opinion is a few things are happening.
The Swingular community is actually growing...bigtime. Hence the increasing number of events being posted. And yes..most are paid events...for a couple of reasons..to actually pay for the cost of an event..and plain old capitolism. Welcome to America. No real problem.
House parties...are alive and well. But...because of the increased number of folks here, things have changed from before. Now, if you post one here..you have a bunch of people respond..most likely too many...some must be told no....hard for most of us to do. Consequently..hosts have become a bit more selective.. and send personal invites..rather than general announcements. Basically...house parties have moved underground. And hosts have become more selective about just inviting particulair age groups, or body types. That leaves many of us out. I know our email box is empty most of the time, unless it is us hosting the party.
Just my opinion of course..yours maybe different!
I think you are right on...we have learned to be very comfortable with the friends we have, and really don't worry about parties that we are or are not invited to...or none at all...I mean the hottest chick on the planet is Ms Karma so...why worry!
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Swingers Vacation Spots - Help us - I always here about Hedo as the place to be for swingers and we have discussed going there too, but have heard some stories that there are mostly men there. Point in case I had 3 male friends go. Is there a certain time of year that is better for couples to go? I though we had heard something along those lines, there are certain weeks that are much better for couples that normal. Also....is there any place else that is good. We are planning to go to Vegas in November...was wondering what types of trouble we can find there......
An out of this world (or state) encounter - swinging parties - I love you ABC Women you described utah parties very well. You are AWESOME!!!
We have had soooo much fun and we are non drama people. However most parties have one or two that make it not as fun but you chose to respond how you want. Looks do not matter as much to us. We just like having a good time. That is what I hope everyone is trying to do. We enjoy all the parties soooo far keep them coming!!! goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo swingers!!!!
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