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Swingers dying out? - Is the utah swinger community dying or becoming to needy? - We feel quite the opposite. We've been on swingular for 15 days now. We've been to 2 meet n greets, met two couples otherwise, and enjoyed a MMF experience for hubby`s birthday. We are hoping to meet another couple tomorrow. We spent 6 weeks on AFF and we think Evil`s cross stitching is probably more real than most of the profiles there.
Serious questions from a newbie.. - - It's never happened to us or anyone we know (that we know of) For many Swingers we trust only people in the lifestyle to know that we are Swingers, but still have to be cautious of who can gain that trust. It shocks me that anyone would try to offend the trust through drugging. We will continue to trust those who know us and consider you friends! I'll even share my drink with you.
NOTACROWD
Age - New to the swingers community - is age a factor in how a couple is viewed? - "Well regardless of what some folks say, age is a determining factor, especially when you reach the, "remind me of my dad" attitude, or even "you could be my grandfather""
So, what advice would hand those that are told they remind other couples of their kids?
Youth seems to be as much of a stumbling block from what I have observed as agedness.
Hosting a swingers Party - - Why not preceed the lifestyle party with a lingerie party or a toy party. Adam & Eve have an operation with local reps who go out and have house parties. Also several lingerie companies have similar set up where they come out with lingerie. Make sure the rep knows it's a lifestyle event and that if they are in the lifestyle they can bring their SO for after the presentation. Most people now accept parties in the neighborhood like Pampered Chef or Tupperware or lingerie parties...and if a close neighborhood friend finds out and wants to be included all you have to say is that it's a club thing and you are not the hostess... But a party like that is also an ice breaker.. have coffee and softdrinks some cake and or cookies and depending on the group hot wings(which could make for an interesting night....for some lucky souls..We try to keep alcohol to a bare min for several reasons.... People have to drive home... The presentation starts during the afternoon so the swinging starts early... Alcohol also dulls the sex drive... and alcohol can be a reason for the local constabulary to break into the event. If no alcohol is present and noone goes outside then there is very little that the law can do... A way to get a party started and a fun evening for all. make sure that condoms are available... Next time one of the other couples can hold the party.. One couple had a party like this in a 14' X 65 foot single wide with plenty of room for 8 couples... Notmal house should be absolutely great.
Ray
Are you still interested! - Dynamics amoung swingers - Actually, we can't seem to figure out what the f...k anybody in "the lifestyle" wants. It is becoming one of the most frustrating things we have ever done. Everyone seems to have all these issues, rules, drama, etc., etc. I thought we were all just trying to have some sexual fun. It's almost like a second job. Geez!
Swinger & 🦄 Bait - An experiment to attract swingers and unicorns. - unicorn bait won't tell lure me in;)
Discretion, the better part of valor - I love that saying - Being the female half here and in a "open" relationship.....
Your profile photos are bad... I mean in this lifestyle people like what they like and if you dont have enough photos to show what you are like in general.... then pass (at least for us anyway)
I always get more action then my hubby, he has the same issue....how to start up the conversation. Its hard enough for a actual single guy to get laid, let alone a married one without the woman thinking your a freak or cheating.
We go to parties, and then follow up with the ladies there. Thats where he's got the most single guy action from. Even then that conversation can be a hard one to start haha
I have a issue with my hubby not wanting to be "outed" in his professional circle so thats a difficult one. I'm very very very open and honest and that can be difficult for me to hide stuff like this (side note, I would NEVER out someone else, I just have a hard time keeping my own secrets!)
All I can say about that being outed thing. Take a walk in the mall, you'll see a couple hundred people that your more then likely never to see again, even though logically you live in the same area and do some of the same general things.
Loosen up, live a little. If she does see someone at work that she's slept with.. guess what... they've seen her too! All of the swingers I have met are very respectful and wouldnt come up and high five and say "Nice fucking you Sat, when can we do it again?" at a board meeting or something HAHA Just sayin'
Sexy swingers closer to our age - 20-30 year old sexy swingers - Hi. So we are in our late 20's and have realized there are not many other people our age active on here. If you're in your 20's, 30's or 40's, drop us a line below, or feel free to slide our DM's ;)
Soft swap - Soft swap vs Full swap - Top definition according to our Unabashed Urban Dictionary via google search and everything is according to google, right?
SOFT SWAP:
To share spouses/mates with another to the point of digital and/or oral copulation only.
This term comes from the home of Stephen, SuperGenius, who invented it spontaneously while referring to timid wanna-be swingers unwilling to take the PLUNGE
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HARD SWAP:
When you trade sexual partners...as opposed to soft swap where you just watch, or be watched, the other couple having sex. Sometimes soft swap does entail the trading of oral sex between the different couples.
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No Seriously, everyone most likely has their own definition of these "soft swap", "hard swap" terms. So rather than leave it up to each individual's own version or opinion...wouldn't it be a good idea to simply discuss with all what each is comfortable doing and what the boundaries may be on a particular night and/or with a particular couple or play partner? We believe communication is the key and everyone should feel comfortable and that there should be no pressure and no expectations.
sluts? what? - how so? - [quote=DELICIOUSLYWET][quote=SHADOWINGWHISPERS][quote=DELICIOUSLYWET]There is a book called "The Ethical Slut: A Guide to Infinite Sexual Possibilities" written by Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy that defines Slut in a positive light. They might be using slut in that context. The book has been very popular with swingers for quite a few years. [/quote]
I would hope they are using it in that sense.. but words that compile around the slut term make it strongly seem like it's a negative term.. sadly..[/quote]
If they are using it in a derogatory sense it may be because they are experiencing a certain level of self loathing because they are struggling to accept their own sexual nature or they may have peers and family that would do their best to destroy them were they to live so free as you are. I think that the anger that leads to name calling and judgment sometimes is a secondary emotion that people choose to embrace because the primary emotion is much more painful. They may want what you have but lack the confidence or courage to go find it for themselves and so the same people that call someone a slut in the derogatory sense far too often are the same people that go off and struggle with their own sexuality in dark places through lying, cheating, abuse and even darker acts while swimming in a sea of self loathing.
We should all jump up and down and be happy that you are free or striving to become free of such shackles![/quote]
That makes sense.. I hope everyone can undo the shackles!! Great understanding..
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