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We are going to Vegas and want to do something sexy - Please share your ideas on what we can do - Has anyone visited any of the clubs and what has been your experiences. The wife and I are headed to Vegas July 15th - July 22nd We are specifically looking at Green Door, Red Rooster and Swingers Circle. Not sure which we are going to yet.
Travel and first time - - Your comments make me wonder if you should be in this lifestyle at all. Controlling how close you get to someone is part of the territory. You solve that like any other problem by talking and making decisions togheter.
One time threesomes are as often a flop as they are a thumbs up encounter. A lot depends on what you are looking for along that line. If you have never had one you may not even know exactly what you are looking for. The two of you need to sit down and discuss what you want to have happen. For some it is just the size of the dick while the opposite end of the spectrum is some skill and the two of you working together to give her an earth shaking experience.
But, unless you are a minute man and pretty lousy in giving her what she needs in the bedroom I would not worry too much about it. But that is just me. If you are a stingy tight wad, or abuse her, or just a general putts and the two of you are always fighting then you might have a lot to fear.
Swingers do get divorced but stats will show that there is just as much danger from someone in your neighborhood that you do not know about than there is from a swinging with a couple that you know. In general you will find that relationships in and out of this lifestyle are a funny and complex thing. There is no such thing as a typical relationship. In general, although someone might give up a bad marriage for a relationship with someone else that is a better spouse. it is rare that someone gives up a good marriage just for someone else that is just better in bed.
Facebook group - - I also belong to another Facebook swingers page based out in the NE too. Philly area mostly. Not many people in our area on that page.
Lack of Communication - Is it really that hard? - I've been thinking about this thread (and other's like it...they seem to come along every few months or so, along with the ones about whether or not condoms are a good idea or whether we're just caving to the big latex conglomerates) and I have a few additional thoughts.
First, many (most?) emails we receive seem to have about as much thought put into them as one might put into which side of their hamburger to start eating on. If they aren't spammed out to multiple people the senders, at very least, don't seem to have the verbal capacity to write anything beyond, "We seen yer add and wanna put our naughty bits in yer naughty bits." [SIC] Is it that hard to include a little tidbit or two about WHY you think we might be a good match for you and why we would want to take time out of our busy lives to meet with you? And the few that DO contain more than a generic greeting or poorly thought out pick up line have obviously not read our profile (don't necessarily blame them...takes a minimum of a couple of hours to slog through) and don't know what we are and are not looking for. For Christ's sake, give us at least ONE compelling reason why you think we'd like to meet you such as, "We love fisting out stuffed ferrets too and also worship Satan as our lord and master. Let's have coffee."
Second, when did we all become such Tender Heart Care Bears? And why do we necessarily feel entitled to a response to a more often than not spammed out email from people wanting to perv our locked pics? I've only written back to that nice Nigerian prince like ten or fifteen times before I finally got tired of him asking for my checking account number. Do you call back every carpet cleaning company that leaves a message on your voice mail? Do you send a nice polite note back the the guy who's running for president for the Violent Tyrannical Dictator Party and wants you to donate to his campaign fund? I mean, he was even nice enough to send you a self addressed stamped envelope.
So maybe put a little thought into your solicitations. Give people a compelling reason to write you back beyond, "OMG, you're swingers? We're swingers too. We should totally fuck!". This goes double for single guys. Read the profile...even if you have to do it over two or three nights and use a dictionary to look up the big words. Take note of what people are and aren't looking for and especially if they mention your particular demographic. And last but not least, Don't worry about it if someone doesn't write you back. For all you know they've just survived a horrific bumper car accident at Lagoon or maybe they're 2 days in to binge watching all nine seasons of Matlock and haven't eaten or slept for two days. If you're consistently not getting any responses to your emails maybe you're fishin' in the wrong pond. Take a good long hard look in the mirror and ask yourself honestly if Angelina Jolie REALLY would like to fuck you or if you're more likely to hit it off with Steve Buscemi or Nick Nolte.
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"Couples" catergory rather than "Single Female"? - Which Swingular category is appropriate? - How you post is up to you. Lots of women post both ways. I guess it depends on your point of view. Most swinging couples don't think of us singles as swingers and maybe we are not technically. I cannot think why a married man would ever think of posting as a single but I admit that I have not looked either. If they do it should be posted clearly in their profile also.
But if you are in this lifestyle and single you may want to meet single women and hope that a really personal relationship may develop with one. This lifestyle is not just about hook ups. In general I would think that as a single swinger I would want to bond with a woman that wishes to live this lifestyle. At least that would work for me. So to that end, finding a single post that is really a married post is always a disappointment. But as long as you are clear in your profile, I say no harm, no foul. On some boards, depending on your level, cannot read the profile. But if a single man can
Do you mix your vanilla and lifestyle friends? - - Good question! Really haven't had this come up much, yet, quite like that, anyway, being relatively new to the lifestyle. But...have already encountered the Ohhh...we know some of the same people sort of thing" Even in the big city..it is amazing how often that happens. For me..I can understand why this would make some swingers nervous...never really knowing what you might say to one of their friends about "your " new friend.
When I have learned about common connections such as this....my choice has been to not mention them again...and ESPECIALLY not to the ones that know both of us. I learned a long time ago, that I need to be honest....BUT....I DON'T have to tell everything I know...LOL
Original humans as swingers? - Provocative theories based on Bonobo sexual behavior -
http://www.cnn.com/2010/OPINION/07/27/ryan.promiscuity.normal/
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KagyO9zS_ro
The above article and video put forth some interesting theories about our "first" ancestors sexuality and monogamy.
So what do you think?
Definitions! - Just in case you never wanted to ask. - A very useful page (pages) of Definitions relating to The Lifestyle...in case you saw something float across the screen and were too embarrassed to ask.
http://www.hrcouples.com/terms_def.htm
http://thelibertinewife.com/blog/the-sex-and-swingers-glossary/
Here's a few pertinent terms...heheheh.
SOFT SWINGING (Soft Swap) -A social, erotic swing party environment where sexual activity is common and available, but not required or assumed. Sometimes used to describe swapping up to, but not including intercourse.
FULL SWAP - A couple that enjoys sexual pleasure with others that includes anything up to and including intercourse.
Anyone have any other helpful definitions pages? I've got a couple more...I'll add them later.
-K_T
New Swingers Club in Utah - Gauging interest in new club - The idea of a private club is great. Having spent some time in Europe, they are very uninhibited and get pretty wild. The idea of theme rooms or genres, would offer a great variety to appeal to everyone. We would be interested to see how it progresses. Would come regularly.
Gangbang - - I been to a few. It's always been done by close friends so the trust factor was always solid from the get-go. A few drinks...laugh a bit...loosen up.
Once the woman was blind-folded and we all took turns touching her. She knew all of us that were there, but still...the thought of her not knowing who was doing what at which time was a turn on to her.
She was very open to anything, which was fun. So, yeah...good times.
But I think as a single male it's important to understand that yes...it's great getting your rocks off on a woman that loves the attention. That is what I think makes it stimulating for all involved...but I've seen a few guys freeze up over the whole concept when they realize whatever fantasy they been imagining in their head is about to start in front of their faces. LOL
Reality slaps a few guys in the face and they realize they can't either a) deal with it or b) can't perform. So I like what Trigeek36 said...if you want a certain number, invite double that. Some are going to have issues.
I always liked attached women so the fun of it was just that...all of us having a good time with no-strings. The cool thing is...some of the best people I ever met are swingers. We can always fuck and then go shoot pool afterwards...or vice versa. LOL
The main thing is to remember this (single guys)...a guy loves having his woman banged by others...she ain't gonna start dating you. Respect them, buy them both alcohol on a regular basis and you will have a great time for a LONG time.
Not sure if that answered any of FOX'S questions but I hope that may have helped somebody. :)
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